You know how you have those days when you’re sitting in traffic, or you’re waiting in a long line at the grocery store, and you look out at the world around you and say to yourself “Wow. I fucking hate everybody”?
Additional thoughts float into your head such as:
“Look at the asshole in the gas-guzzling truck with his asshole chin. I bet his farts smell like a dead raccoon in a compost toilet. And he probably watches Power Rangers porn.”
“That lady who just cut in front of me in line has resting bitch face. As a feminist, I shouldn’t be using the word “bitch” in regards to a woman, and I’m not even exactly sure what “resting bitch face” means, but I think she has it. And I hate her for it.”
“Why is that child staring at me while screaming and picking its nose? He’s a demon.”
I had one of these days today. I dislike these kind of days because I try to be a good person, I try to (more…)
In my mother’s Easter care package, filled with chocolate, an infinity scarf and a postcard of Assistant Walter D. Skinner from the X-files, was a paper catalog from the 1980s of a now defunct department store in Upstate New York called Chappell’s. The catalog, which is weathered, features my dad, and a handful of other male models and one female child model, in a themed spread called “Dad’s World.”
I knew my father did regional modeling during my youth, but I had never seen this catalog before. What struck me about the catalog was not how boyish my father looked, but how UNBELIEVABLY PERVY the spread was.
Here is just a taste of the spread. (Please excuse the low quality of these photos; this catalog was obviously folded up and hid from society for many years.)
I was so flabbergasted by this insane photoshoot, that I called my dad to see if he could shed any light on the homoerotic-slash-hint-of-child-molestation theme you’re about to see in the photos.
A recent work photo, where I was asked to bring something I love and I brought my NPR tumbler
Tonight my roommate and I went down a Gawker rabbit hole, which led to an Emily Gould mouse hole, which led to a “Why don’t I write super personal blog posts anymore?” ant hole.
Refreshing myself with Emily Gould reminded me of the late-aughts heyday of personal blogging, when I and many of my peers spilled our guts through our tiny real estate on the web. But as the years went on, many of us went on to careers that took priority over our blogs due to financial reasons. We also grew out of our twenties, having accumulated spouses and children on our exit, and not finding the time, energy or the inspiration to write about the nitty-gritty of our dramatically different personal lives.
But today…today I decided to write an good, ol’-fashioned Dear Diary post.
And it was way more difficult than I thought it would be.
You see, I’m seven years older than the 25-year-old (more…)
Or maybe you spat at the screen or crumpled up your newspaper and shouted into the air, “DAMN YOU, NEW YORK TIMES. DAMN YOU AND YOUR LIST.”
We have to remind ourselves that these New York Times’ 36 Hours In essays are written for visitors with disposable incomes, but it’s still hard to see Rainey Street bars and over-crowded BBQ joints listed as must-see places in our city.
As a counterpoint to the New York Times article, I’ve written my own guide for people who A.) want to experience the “real” Austin and b.) who are broke as shit.
1.) Straight to Veracruz All Natural, 2:30 p.m.
On your plane ride from New York City, the only thing you can think of are Austin’s delicious tacos, and you’ve been texting taco emojis all day to your Austin friend, Lucy, who is (more…)
I’ve been a fan of the Curbed series for years, most notably Curbed Detroit under the helm of Sarah Cox. The Detroit edition of Curbed continues to perfectly capture the unprecedented rise and fall and rise of one of America’s most iconic cities.
I’m confident that Curbed Austin will be as equally intriguing as we continue to watch this city balloon into one of the leading metropolises in our country.
The site, which officially went live this morning, is (wo)manned by acclaimed Austin writer Cindy Widner (former managing editor of the Austin Chronicle and Austin-area freelancer writer for 20 years).
I asked Cindy what readers can expect from Curbed Austin:
“Austinites can expect stories about design, development, and real estate that are informative, timely, and, most of all, fun and interesting to read. Curbed is really good about covering the details about how cities develop for people who are genuinely interested in the (more…)
Early voting in Texas starts today (until Feb. 26th), and I was reminded ONCE AGAIN that the Texas Railroad Commissioner has nothing to do with actual railroads (he or she deals with oil and shit). These reminders always greatly disappoint me. I really want this job to be about trains. If it was, I would apply for it.
What I would do if I was Texas Railroad Commissioner:
I would do all of my speeches wearing a conductor hat and suspenders. If someone from the crowd became unruly, I would blow (or throw) a train whistle at them. Then I would say to everyone, “Hey, everyone! Let’s go for a train ride!” and then everyone would get on the train and there would be sandwiches waiting for them. And we’d all sit and eat sandwiches and point at America from the window.
Then I’d put passenger trains back on all rails across America, so people can actually take the train EVERYWHERE. And these trains would be super fast and on time and the staff would be super happy (more…)
I promised that I would only write one blog post about the presidential candidate I’m supporting, but I’m breaking that promise. Both Geoff and I are feeling the Bern, and we made Bernie Valentines for your viewing and sharing pleasure. We hope you enjoy!
Warning: There are some sad photos in here, but this is a happy story!
My friend Carrie works at the Austin Animal Center, and her Facebook feed is often filled with photos of Austin’s stray dogs and cats. Each animal has a back story, many times a sad one. The neglect, abuse and disease can be seen on their sweet faces.
One of these beautiful creatures was Wilbur, an 8-week-old, 2.75-pound chihuahua-Jack Russell puppy that came into the center at the end of 2015. Carrie named him Wilbur, after the pig in Charlott’es Web. His skin was pink and inflamed due to mange and neglect.
As Carrie tells it, “He caught my eye one day when I was walking by. I saw this sweet, sad little puppy curled up in the corner and had to meet him. Although he was very sick, he loved being held, and we became quick friends. He would just curl up in my arms and whimper, while also licking my face. On days when I worked, I would walk by his unit and look to make sure he was still there. We had many early (more…)
I used to write a lot about personal stuff on my blog, but I kind of shied away from it over the years. Hipstercrite started as a sort of journal for me, a place for me to chronicle my adventures moving from Los Angeles to Austin and post passive-aggressive notes to former boyfriends, but it’s slowly become a depository for my commentary on society and pop culture. I still write the occasional personal piece, but my reality has become much more boring. My life is normal and happy- all the things I hoped for when I was the angsty twenty-something who started this blog. Reality also comes with sadness; life deals you some tough blows as you age, and I guess I decided that Hipstercrite was going to become a strictly fun place. With that being said, I thought I’d write a post about my year, which entailed some ups and downs- as most years do.
-Some of you may remember Lionel, my grandma’s partner of many years. Last I wrote about him, he had Alzheimer’s and was living in a care facility. (more…)
I’ve never gotten political on my blog, but today I am.
This will most likely be the one and only time I post about a specific politician, unless this politician ends up winning the presidency. Then I might write a second post where I write IN CAPS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS AND HEARTS.
However, I’m feeling the Bern, as I believe Bernie Sanders is one of the most honest, hard-working and intelligent presidential candidates America’s had in a long time, and I want to share only just a few reasons as to why I’m voting for him.
3.) When asked about Islamphobia in America by a young Muslim woman, Bernie asked her to come down to the stage, hugged her and responded with “I will do everything I can to rid this country of the ugly stain of racism that has existed here for far too many years.”