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Hipstercrite Life

Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

Why Saying “I’m Sorry” Has Not Hurt My Career

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A recent editorial trend is the admonishment of women who apologize. This movement has spawned similar essays that disparage women for vocal fry (common example: any word that comes out of Zooey Deschanel’s mouth), upspeak, the use of words such as “like” and the act of verbally undermining oneself.

(I’m about to defend women who do any or all of these things, but let me first say: VOCAL FRY SOUNDS LIKE FLAPPY MOUTH FARTS. I’m not going to tell any woman how she should speak, but damn, if you do vocal fry, particularly with upspeak, please reconsider for the sake of healthy ears everywhere.)

To me, the articles mentioned above scream, “Women, stop being who you are! Start talking more like a man! Talk in a way that makes men respect you more!” It also suggests that women want to constantly climb their career ladder, with the implication they work in a corporate setting, and for many of us, this is not applicable.

I get where these articles, found in publications such Continue Reading

Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Travel

The Time I Went to Denver, Ate Edibles and Lost My Mind

Back in February, I pulled a Maureen Dowd and completely lost my f’ing mind on (legal) edibles in Denver, Colorado. (I emphasize ‘legal’ for my current employers and any future employers. Hi, guys.)

Let me start by saying: I’m weed ignorant.

I believe this is how many stories begin when someone loses their shit on edibles.

“I didn’t feel anything so I started eating more…”

Homer eating

I guess when my boyfriend and I nervously bought the THC-filled cookies from a dispensary in the hip Highlands part of Denver, our knees shaking as we giggled like senior citizens who had just watched a porno for the first time, we must have missed the part about waiting an hour to feel the effects. We were too busy feeling like scared ass clowns.

Instead, about 30 minutes into eating the cookies, my boyfriend proclaimed that the skunky-tasting treats were defective, so we decided to go for a second one. And then a half of a third.

And for another 30 minutes, nothing.

And then we met Continue Reading

Hipstercrite Life

“Why Did You Decide Not To Have Kids?”- Survey Results

Last week I posted on my blog a survey asking childless friends, acquaintances and complete strangers why they didn’t have children. The response was terrific, and I slightly surpassed- 63-60- the amount of responders for my first poll, “Should I have children? A survey for moms and dads.” If you haven’t read the initial survey, I recommend reading it.

Unlike the first survey, this poll enabled participants to choose “other” and to explain their answers. I did not do that for the first survey because I’m a Luddite.

Below are the results from the second survey. You can also see the entire survey results and comments here.

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1.) Why Did You Not Have Children? 

As you will see from the first question, the majority of participants selected “I never felt the desire to have kids.” However, this question had the most comments, with many people explaining that they had multiple reasons for not wanting children, including lack of funds, miscarriages, not wanting to Continue Reading

Hipstercrite Life

Survey: Why Did You Decide Not to Have Children?

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A couple of months back, I posted a survey asking moms and dads why they had children. The survey stemmed from my own confusion and stress as to whether or not I, an early thirty-something, should pump out the babies.

With the survey, I had hoped that by “crowdsourcing” my dilemma, I could receive insight into “the right answer.”

Well, I didn’t.

And I knew I wasn’t going to.

Having children is personal and unique to all of us, and no one can tell you whether it’s right for you. However, the survey did inform me with anonymous information on the sleeping habits, sex lives and anxiety levels of many parents, which proved to be both fascinating and terrifying. You can read the results to that survey here.

A handful of non-parents commented that I should do a reverse survey: Why didn’t you have children?

What makes a person decide not to have children? Is it by choice? Is it by circumstance? And if it was by choice, is that non-parent ok with that choice?
Fertility Continue Reading

Austin, Hipstercrite Life

Love The Moth? Check out The Tellers at LIVESTRONG HQ

Austinites!

Are you a fan of storytelling? Do you love The Moth?

Tomorrow night I’m hosting a storytelling event at LIVESTRONG HQ, and I’m super stoked about it.

I had been wanting to put together a night where cancer survivors and non-cancer survivors alike felt empowered to share their stories in front of a receptive audience. With the help of two of my teammates, that wish is now a reality.

The theme is “new kid on the block,” and our guest speakers have ten minutes to share their stories. I can guarantee the night will be filled with a lot of laughs and some tears.

If you’re free tomorrow, stop by 2201 E. 6th St., enjoy food and drinks on us and listen to some kick-butt storytellers.

The event is free and starts at 6:30PM.

Details below and here.

The Tellers LIVESTRONG

Should I have kids survey question #1
Hipstercrite Life

The Results From My Survey “Should I Have Kids?”

Last week, I posted a survey for my mom and dad friends wherein I asked them about the nitty-gritty of childbirth and childbearing. As a woman in early 30s, marriage and kid stuff has been on my mind lately. Not because I’m itching for either, but because I’m at the age where I have to think about it. No more goofing around in my twenties; the future is here, and I gotta figure out what it holds. As an only child of divorce, marriage and kids aren’t really my bag. Since I was a little girl, I related more towards the slightly depressed, child-less artist type, but as I’ve gotten older, this affection has softened. I do not have baby fever, but the prospect of not extending a branch of my family tree makes me sad. Plus, my partner and I are weird enough that I think our kid would be an awesome little weirdo.

I was thrilled with the responses I received from the survey. Fifty-six moms and dads answered, and many more left thoughtful, insightful and interesting comments on my blog post Continue Reading

Hipstercrite Life

Survey: Should I have kids? Help me decide.

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I’m getting to that age where I’m thinking about kids.

And it’s not baby fever. F that. (Though babies are kind of squishy and cute.)

It’s more like, “Shit, if I put this thing off for much longer, that kid is going to have senior citizen parents.”

My dude and I have talked about kids, slightly, and we both kind of feel the same way. We’re not against them, but they’re not high up on our lists of things to do.

They’re scary, man.

I like sleeping in on the weekends. I like my alone time. Every once in awhile, I like having a nightcap and a Purple Rain one-person dance party at the house. I think about death and dying every hour of the day- how could I produce spawn and not explode from anxiety? What happens is my kid gets sick? Will I fall apart? What will happen to my relationship with my kid’s dad? TELL ME!!!!

These are thoughts that swim through my head on a daily basis, and it makes the thought of having kids kind of TERRIFYING.

This is where you come Continue Reading

Cafe Du Monde
Austin, Hipstercrite Life

“Excuse me, are you Jewish?”

Sometimes I’m that person who loves going to Whole Foods on Sunday morning, New York Times in tow. I feel as though I should apologize for it, or at least make fun of myself for it, but in truth, I look forward to this time to people watch, eat well, read or strike up a conversation.

Today I sat next to man who was also reading the paper. We got chatting about newspapers- “Did you see that they revamped the New York Times Magazine?”- and about three exchanges in he asked, “Are you Jewish?”

I laughed and nodded my head yes.

“So am I. I can tell,” he said.

I quickly added that I’m non-practicing, but that I’ve been interested in exploring the culture. My culture.

“Don’t worry- most Jews are that way,” he pointed out.

“My family is from Eastern Europe. My Grandmother was raised in an Orthodox Jewish household, and I think it scared her,” I explained. “My grandma raised my mom without religion and so on. My mom and I would like to reconnect with our roots.” This is something I’ve been Continue Reading

Hipstercrite Life, Writing

Guys, I have a new site.

…And I bought a Jeff Goldblum mug this weekend, so I’m pretty happy right now.

So, what do you think of the new design?

Laurel over at Recspec is the magic woman behind it.

Just check out her other work and see the magic.

She was an absolute pleasure to work with, and she created exactly what I was looking for.

She does web design and graphic design for individuals and businesses; if you’re thinking of a sweet rebrand, definitely check her out.

Oh, and look at this picture of a bear falling (and being caught) out of a tree.

tranquilized-bear

 

 

Hipstercrite Life

What to Say and Not Say to Someone with Cancer

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source

As many of you know, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer over the holidays. Maneuvering through the early part of Grandma’s cancer journey was a whirlwind- countless doctors’ appointments and medical procedures- but one constant that got us through it was the incredible support from others. The care and concern of our friends and family helped give us the feelings of hope and love during a difficult time.

A handful of well-intentioned people also said some pretty lame-o things to us. Knowing what to say to a person just diagnosed with cancer, and their family, can be difficult. I know they didn’t mean what they said or maybe they just have mouth diarrhea, but their words stung. I’m writing this article not under the pretense that I’m now an expert in the field of cancer, but as a person who experienced a wide array of responses to her grandmother’s cancer. This also isn’t an attempt to shame anyone; I’m hoping it will give a little bit of insight to those wanting to say the right thing. I myself often didn’t know what to say to someone affected by cancer, but my recent crash course helped.

1.) Don’t blame them for their cancer.

This might seem like a no-brainer, but yes, we actually heard this. My grandma has lung cancer and she was a smoker over twenty years ago. When we told people about her lung cancer, a few people said, “Well, she smoked, didn’t she?” Even when we asked her oncologist if her lung cancer was smoking-related and he said no, one friend told us the oncologist was wrong.

When something bad happens to a person, we want to find a reason why. If a person smoked, or didn’t treat their bodies well, we have to assume that is the reason why they developed cancer (or any other ailment). Even if that person makes a healthy change in their lives, we still want to assume it was their prior behavior that caused their issue. Whether or not it did, it’s not up to us to judge or point fingers. People diagnosed with cancer aren’t stupid. In the back of their minds, they may already be thinking, “Shit! Did that ten years of smoking cigarettes in my twenties cause this?!”

2.) Don’t tell them that they have “bad cancer.”

Some types of cancers and their stages have better prognoses than others, but it’s not up to us to tell cancer patients whether or not their cancer is bad or good. Leave it up to their doctor to tell them. Telling them that they have “bad cancer” can lead to unnecessary stress and fear; telling them that they have “good cancer,” as my friend pointed out, is just silly. No cancer is good! Try to stay away from saying comments like this, and just focus more on offering words of hope and support.

3.) Don’t tell them their treatment is going to be crappy.

“Oh, I heard treatment for lung cancer is awful!” We heard this from a couple of friends and acquaintances. Cancer patients are already scared; they don’t need unsolicited negative opinions from people who aren’t medical professionals. Just know that when you say something like that, it can have a huge impact.

4.) Don’t tell them what they should do.

I know for my family, hearing the stories of other survivors and their unique treatment plans was helpful and encouraging. Every person and cancer is made differently and selecting a treatment plan that is best for you is a very daunting task. Unless you’re a doctor, don’t try to talk your friend or family member in or out of one type of treatment. Cancer is confusing enough as it is. I would argue that it’s ok to share your opinions, but don’t beat the person over the head with them.

5.) Stay positive and hopeful.

This comes down more to personal preference, but I know for us, we wanted to hear words of hope, encouragement, love and support. I’m all for speaking your mind, but cancer is not the time to do that. You know what cancer survivors and their families want to hear? They want to hear things like, “You’re doing awesome!” or “You’re going to be ok!” or “I know you’ll beat this!” Even if you’re full of shit, positive words are what you need to share. Keep that Negative Nelly locked away in the basement.

6.) Offer your support.

Even if you don’t know how to react, just say that you’re there for them, whether it’s in person, through the phone or online. This can go a long way. And you know what? They may take you up on that offer, because cancer is hard, but it has a way of bringing people together. For us, knowing that so many people were ready and willing to help wrapped us in a blanket of fuzzy feelings.

7.) Don’t look at them like they’re dying.

Cancer survivors are people just like you. If you run into them in the store or on the street, don’t stare at them like Death is doing the jitterbug over their shoulder. Many people keep a very positive and upbeat attitude during treatment. Tell your friend that they’re awesome, give them a big hug and slap ’em a high five. They may have a fight ahead of them, but they’re strong- especially when you have their back.