(This is my first McSweeney’s rejection. Please enjoy! No, really. Please enjoy it.)
My dearest 2017,
Your predecessor was a challenging year for both me and my country, and I aim to put 2016 to bed like the bear I shot through the eyes on my last trek to the wildness of Wyoming.
In order to move forward on my goals for a robust and cheerful 2017, I’ve compiled a list of resolutions to heed.
These resolutions are as follows:
1. Challenge that mollycoddle Mr. Trump to a grizzly bear-wrestling competition. Whoever wins will earn the coveted title of President of Earth. (No need to worry: What I lack in height I make up for in sheer man girth.)
2. Personally protect every goddamn National Park with my militia of mercenaries known as the Teddy Bears.
3. Free climb Mt. Rushmore and draw a black ring around the eye of that pansy Thomas Jefferson.
4. Host a dinner for the current members of the Republican Party where I will smack each of their whiny derrieres with my “big stick” — especially (more…)
Friends, Geoff and I decided last week that we will spend our Thanksgiving holiday dropping off supplies at Standing Rock and helping in any way we can for a couple of days.
Since announcing this last week, donations of supplies and money have poured in. Seeing friends and strangers come together to help the protestors of the Dakota Access Pipeline has given me hope during a time of uncertainty.
I will probably write about the journey on the blog, but if you’re interested in following our journey, please hit me up on Twitter and Instagram. I hope to share as much as possible about the fight of the protestors.
And if you’re interest in contributing in any way, please put a comment down below.
Excellent resources to follow during this time are:
Native News Online
Indian Country Today Media Network
Sacred Stone Camp on FB
Water is life, y’all!
And the future is unwritten.
(As I write this, protestors are getting shot with water cannons (more…)
I’m currently reading the fantastic book Spain in Our Hearts: Americans in the Spanish Civil War by Adam Hochschild, and I can’t help but draw parallels to the Spanish Civil War and post-2016 election America.
The Spanish Civil War, 1936–1939, was a battle between fascism (Nationalists) and progress (Republicans). On the left, communists, socialists, anarchists, revolutionaries and artists banned together to fight oppression and conservatism. Their fight was hard, and ultimately ended in defeat (and the beginning of WWII), but their efforts inspired some of the greatest works in literature and art: Pablo Picasso’s Guernica, Ernest Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls and George Orwell’s Homage to Catalonia, the latter two writers both spending time in Spain during the war — Hemingway as a journalist and Orwell as a Republican fighter.
With the results of the 2016 election, I felt the urge to do something I haven’t thought about doing in a long time: to write a private diary. This diary (more…)
I’m disappointed, but I will not berate you. Just please know that the results were upsetting not just for liberals, who you may or may not like, but it’s upsetting, and terrifying, for many women, people of color, immigrants, people with disabilities and individuals in the LGBTQ community–people you may know and love. Your support for Trump says that you do not respect or concern yourself with us, whether that was your intent or not.
I saw the desert for the first time 12 years ago, from the window of my Ford Taurus as I relocated my life from Central New York to Los Angeles, California.
It’s inspired and terrified me ever since that day.
I enjoy waking up in the cool mornings of New Mexico or Arizona, seeing a technicolor landscape of cacti, mountains and big sky. I enjoy the Southwest’s mix of cultures, evident in the art, food, architecture and decor. I enjoy the sparseness of it all–the lack of people, the lack of pretentiousness, the ability to travel for miles without seeing a single structure made from man.
But during those hot, blistering days when cover is a rarity and the ground looks well-done, that is when I’m terrified. When I see the sharp edges of the desert’s foliage, the slithering of its snakes, the warnings of the various hardened animals that can only survive in a climate such as that, I’m in full freak out mode. But that fear keeps me coming back for more.
And that is why I find (more…)
I just started a monthly newsletter, and I’d love for you to join.
This newsletter will contain:
-Other people’s writing you should check out
-Giveaways or whatever
-Pics of my cat (like the photo above of FatFace doing yoga)
You can sign up in this weird widget below:
Awww hells yeah.
Curbed Austin is now live.
I’ve been a fan of the Curbed series for years, most notably Curbed Detroit under the helm of Sarah Cox. The Detroit edition of Curbed continues to perfectly capture the unprecedented rise and fall and rise of one of America’s most iconic cities.
I’m confident that Curbed Austin will be as equally intriguing as we continue to watch this city balloon into one of the leading metropolises in our country.
The site, which officially went live this morning, is (wo)manned by acclaimed Austin writer Cindy Widner (former managing editor of the Austin Chronicle and Austin-area freelancer writer for 20 years).
I asked Cindy what readers can expect from Curbed Austin:
“Austinites can expect stories about design, development, and real estate that are informative, timely, and, most of all, fun and interesting to read. Curbed is really good about covering the details about how cities develop for people who are genuinely interested in the (more…)