Writing

A Burger Short of a Combo Meal

My next post should be the 3rd installment of my date with “The Beautiful, Yet Doltish Unemployed Actor Who Liked Nickelback“, but I got bored with the story. Here is the ending- we dated for a month, I realized that he was a few peas short of a casserole, he accused me of faking my interest in him due to the fact that I may or may not have made the face below the entire three unnecessarily loud minutes we knocked boots, he banished me to my own couch, we parted ways the next morning not before he asked me what the difference between a PC and a Mac is and if a Mac can get on the internet. He recently reached out to me on Facebook explaining that he’s working as a waiter at a chain restaurant in Dallas and that’s about it. I noticed on his profile page that his girlfriend’s birth year has a “9” as the third digit in. His is a “7”.
So in replace of that, here are some photos of our adventures next to a dumpster and in a shower this weekend.
I’m lucky to know the lovely Annie and Emily below. Check out Emily’s blog at Thar She Blargs.
These photos will ultimately be up on American Apparel’s California Select blog and I’ve been told I can no longer make self-deprecating comments about such things.



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15 Comments

  • Reply Hannah Miet June 7, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    Wow. What an ending.

    Those 9's, man.

    I guess that's what follow after us, but, shit. Creepy.

    I want to hang out.

  • Reply the default attorney June 7, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    I just visited Austin for the first time ever as part of my newly found funemployment plan of pleasure and general diverstissement. I've never seen so many bars in such a small space. It was pretty awesome. I came home with a pretty hefty farmers' tan and some awesome fitted flannel shirts which, here in SF, is good for year-round use.

  • Reply Benny June 7, 2010 at 8:30 pm

    Damn, I thought ApAppy had a higher tolerance for irony. Funny enough, I think your comment about not being able to make self-deprecating comments was as hilarious as any self-deprecating comment would have been.

    And @thedefaultattorney, I'd never thought about that aspect of Austin. Must be kind of unfortunate to have so many hip long-sleeved shirts lying around and only like, 2 months to wear them…

    The same is nearly true, though, about sundresses in NY. Realizing that boy's don't really have an equivalent in the hip clothes department. Unless you count muscle shirts, which thankfully were only hip for a hot second (and in the Noise scene)

    The Nickelback guy story is still satisfactory, despite its abrupt summary end. Asking if Mac's have the internet is priceless.

    Ladies in the 9's… I guess I can't blame him. If I liked Nickelback, that's probably where I'd be shopping, too. Although that means she's about my little sister's age. Which makes me want to beat him so that he can never try to get with my sister.

    Odds that she'll break his heart are pretty high, I'm thinking…

  • Reply Charmalade June 7, 2010 at 8:38 pm

    I've heard of few colors short of a crayon box, but never few peas short of a casserole (I like it! and plus it makes me hungry). The Nickelback-actor-who-prefers-"9's" reminds me of Jon Hamm's character in 30rock. So handsome, so so so dumb.

    And what a fun photoshoot! I like how y'all made the shower/bathroom pictures completely not Myspacey at all. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Toast with Charmalade

  • Reply Hipstercrite June 7, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    @hannah- lady, seriously, i'm trying to get a trip together to nyc to meet you and the ladies. this isn't just talk either. once i get a better idea, i'm emailing you.

    @the default attorney- yep, that sounds about right! it's people's pastime to drink unbelievable amounts of alcohol in austin. it's so indulgent that i went the opposite way- i barely drink.

    @benny- odds are that she doesn't even know where the heart is located on the body are pretty high too…

    @charmalade- thanks! you know, i've never seen that ep…it's time that i rent that entire series!

  • Reply Juliette June 7, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    The ending was so anti-climatic. Nice pictures though, very hipster worthy.

    P.S. Can I come with you to NCY? Hannah is like my blogging IDOL, and I would jump at the chance to meet you as well.
    Pretty please? I can be like your little hipsterette sidekick.

    -Juliette WhereForArtThouRomeo

  • Reply Juliette June 7, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    Oh, sheesh, just realized I spelled "NYC", "NCY" in my last comment.
    I can't get anything right.

  • Reply Hannah Miet June 7, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    Definitely keep me posted. You can crash on my couch.

  • Reply Randall June 7, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    Hard to write about people who we're hard pressed to stay interested in "irl."

    Still, what an ending.

  • Reply One Blonde Girl June 8, 2010 at 12:41 am

    I love the ending. You tell a story the way I do; all good and shit until you get bored and then you just toss out a quick conclusion. Nice.

    And good god, don't get me started on guys dating girls who were born in "9" years.

    Great pics!

  • Reply Chris June 8, 2010 at 1:29 am

    Priceless face.

  • Reply Austin Eavesdropper June 8, 2010 at 2:29 am

    I DIED at the picture of your face, while you two were ostensibly knockin' boots. ๐Ÿ˜€ Happiness.

  • Reply Zachary June 8, 2010 at 5:25 am

    I'm loving how you got bored with an idea and just dropped it. Story of my goddamn life.

  • Reply McGriddle Pants June 8, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    Your first clue was that he liked Nickelback. BARFFFFF!

    And how did he banish you to your OWN COUCH?!? Is that possible? Apparently so…
    ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Reply Hipstercrite June 8, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    @Juliette- Most of my stories are anti-climatic. I have to get better at making shit up….and yes, NYC!

    @Randall- I'm slow and I"m confused by your comment. Explain to this sad child…

    @One Blonde Girl- Thanks!

    @Chris and @AustinEavesdropper- ๐Ÿ˜€

    @Zachary- Me too!!!! Especially lately. I think I need focus meds…

    @McGriddle Pants- Excellent question. I didn't want to deal with him, so I gladly went into the other room. I was young and he was stupid and it was awkward and the couch was actually a love seat, but it was ok.

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