Sorry, Mom. This womb is currently barren.
WE GOT A CAT!
I’ve officially become Adult With Cat. (I’ve never had a cat before; I’ve always been a dog gal.)
But she’s not any ol’ cat.
Let me share with you the story of how FatFace and I found each other.
This is FatFace:
She’s a feral and has lived on our block for at least five years.
She was part of a feral colony my neighbor took care of, and which I’ve subsequently taken over after my neighbor moved across town.
I enjoy our cat colony, which totals between 10-12 mostly black or Russian blue cats, but let me tell you something about taking care of cat colonies: Don’t publicly share that info at parties. One time I was at a networking event and met a handful of interesting people and had to stop this sentence from coming out of my mouth: “Oh, man. I have to get going! My cat colony is going to be piiiiised if I don’t get home soon for feed time.”
(Side note: Though I now do the feeding, my former neighbor still currently traps and fixes any cats-with-sexy-parts that enter the colony. She does this through the Humane Society’s kick-ass Trap-Neuter-Return Program.)
FatFace was one of the oldest cats in the colony, and like most of the other ferals, she was terrified of us. However, we took a shine to her because of her tiny stature (we’d later learn she weighed under 5 pounds), and her expressive “fat” face. When I acquired the colony, I discovered that FatFace has only three teeth, so I began feeding her soft food.
Over the course of a year, FatFace went from eating soft food we left out, to letting us get very close to her, to letting us touch her, to letting us brush her, to letting us pet her. Now I’m happy to say she lives in our house and enjoys sleeping on my butt and sniffing my armpits. She also enjoys curling up like a tiny donut.
Here are some other fun fact about FatFace:
-She’s between 5-10 years old.
-We called her “he” for five years until I asked my vet to check out her netherparts.
-She also likes to sleep on my chest and stare at me from about two-to-three inches from my face.
-She does not like to be picked up; she makes this pathetic “muu-annn” sound when you do it.
-She doesn’t like fancy-ass soft food; she likes good-ol’ mystery meat from Friskies.
-We’ve managed to put one pound on her; she now weighs over five pounds.
-My bf thinks she is part dwarf cat.
-She has mouth herpes.
-She loves when you push on her nose really hard. She gets so into it that she might bite your face.
-She doesn’t mind if you scratch her stomach–but not the feet.
-She’s a very affectionate, chill cat. Even when she’s ready to party at 3AM or eat at 7AM, she just stares at us or head bunts us.
-She’s very much loved by us.
If you’d like to follow the #LifeofFatFace, let’s hook up on Instagram!