Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

Evidence That I Was an Insanely Nerdy 13 Year-Old

Have you ever come across a list of future goals you created as a child and realize that you’ve failed miserably at life? I’m back home visiting in Central New York and discovered that my Mom framed my life failings in a scrapbook. The goal list below I created at 13 years of age as I was going through a painfully embarrassing X-files and Elton John obsession (painful = alienated friends and loved ones).

Sadly, I can only say that I’ve succeed in accomplishing goals #1 (David Duchovny), #2 (emails count, right?), #3 (Loves Her Gun), #9 (can I swap this out for the SAG Awards?) and #10 (Vancouver).

I’ve written out my goals below in case you get lost once my ADD kicked in and I got bored in filling in the rest of the list with color. I’ve also left my typos and punctuations errors in all their teenage glory.

What were your prepubescent goals?

teenage goals

1.) Meet Elton, David (Duchovny), Gillian (Anderson), Chris (Carter) Etc.

2.) Write letters to over 700 people.

3.) Make a movie.

4.) Write songs, with words, piano.

5.) Save, raise alot of money!

6.) Get every conceivable Elton John CD.

7.) Get every conceivable X-files thing.

8.) Write a book.

9.) Go to the Emmy’s!

10.) Go to Vancouver, Atlanta.

11.) Appear on TV, hopefully X-files, nation (?)

12.) Dogreat in school, valicotorian.

13.) Raise money for poor in school, spruce them up.

14.) “Become a teenage idol” Elton once said.

15.) Go to a trial.

16.) Make a TV show.

17.) Prove aliens exist before Mulder does.

18.) Make everyone proud!

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  • Reply Michelle @ Mishfish13 May 29, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    Hahaha, “13. raise money for poor in school, spruce them up.” I hope you’re referring to the school here and not the children.

    On my list: attend Hogwarts or, in the case where I was not admitted, own a messenger owl so that I could at least pretend.

    • Reply hipstercrite May 29, 2013 at 2:18 pm

      Michelle, I think I meant “cheer them up”. Hahaha….those poor people need some “sprucing up!”
      Someone should open a Hogwarts school. It would do really well!

  • Reply Allison May 29, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    You should be proud that you crossed some of these off. I mean how many people look back at their childhood dreams and can say, “yep, I made a movie.”

    I assume the want/need to visit Vancouver was X-Files related.

    It’s never too late to buy the complete catalogue of Elton John’s music! When I was in grade 5 my friends and I did a dance routine to Crocodile Rock in front of the whole school.

  • Reply Chantelle May 30, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    All of these are amazing, but I agree with Michelle that #13 is the best. Anytime the word “spruce” is used, a great sentence is made. And I share your love of Elton John – #noshame 😉

  • Reply Benny May 30, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    HAHA! As awesome as the whole thing is, I’m really, really, seriously curious what was going through your 13yo brain when you wrote “Vancouver, Atlanta.”

    • Reply Benny May 30, 2013 at 3:44 pm

      And I just noticed it’s 1996-2001. That makes it even better.
      The more I think about it, the reason Vancouver, Atlanta blows my mind so much is that everything else is an understandable (if geeky) dream for a 13 year old. But what made you think of Vancouver and Atlanta as opposed to… idk, Hollywood and outer space?

  • Reply Tolly June 4, 2013 at 10:11 am

    “Make a TV show!” I wouldn’t be surprised if that one happened someday, Lauren. And check out #3: DONE.

    #18 makes me grin so hard. You already do, girl!

    I made a list like this once too, except it was a little more embarrassing because I made it in college. Ta-da!:


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