Pop Culture

Happy We Work Too Damn Much Day!

Happy Labor Day!

Hopefully you are NOT working today and NOT on your computer and NOT reading this post.

But if you aren’t one of the lucky ones, I recommend turning your office or restaurant or store into a Michael Jackson dance party. This is what I did for every holiday I ever had to work.

Dancing by yourself in a lonely office or in front of customers makes the sad and pathetic truth that you have to work slightly better.

This is an excellent opportunity to test out all the Thriller dance moves you’ve been practicing in front of the mirror for years. Try to refrain from breaking down and crying when you feel like you’re not successfully completing number 22-24 in the diagram above (or the “Look!-My-Hands-Are-Going-Clockwise-Yes!-I’m-Doing-This Correctly!-Fuck!-Michael-Jackson-Makes-This-Look-So-Easy!-Are-The-Zombies-Dragging-Their-Asses-Like-A-Dog-That-Just-Took-A-Shit-Now?-I-Can-Do-That!” dance move).

If you find yourself struggling with that part of the dance, take out that flask you’ve been hiding in your desk drawer/purse/underwear and take a sip.

Thriller and whiskey will help you get through this day.

So will taking off your pants.

If you’re in a workplace environment where you can take of your pants, do it. If even you’re not, you should still take off your pants.

Then send me an picture of you dancing to Thriller without any pants on with a flask of whiskey being flailed in the air.

That way I’ll know that you’re enjoying Labor Day even though you have to work.


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