Film, Pop Culture

Sorry Anne Hathaway, Michelle Pfeiffer is Still The Hottest Catwoman

So, last night I saw The Dark Knight Rises.

Look, the movie is good, but it’s no The Dark Knight.

The Dark Knight has the perfect mix of emotional power, smarts and chemistry. The Dark Knight Rises movie feels like a weaker rehashing of the first two Nolan movies combined.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still good. Nolan could crap on a piece of paper and it would have more character and depth than the majority of films Hollywood is making these days.

One of my small disappointments with the film is Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. That poor girl had some pretty big stilettos to fill and I don’t think she has what it takes to be the fragile, beautiful Selina Kyle, yet.

Anna Hathaway is adorable. ADORABLE. Not sexy or vixeny or sireny. Watching her flirty talk with Batman is like uncomfortably watching your little sister unsuccessfully hit on a dude at the bar. It doesn’t work. There is hotter chemistry between Christian Bale and Joseph Gordon Levitt than Bale and Hathaway.

Having been partial to the Burton/Keaton Batmans, it was difficult for me to warm up to the Nolan/Bale Batmans, but due to excellent writing and performances, The Dark Knight Trilogy won me over. Even putting aside my MASSIVE GIRL BONER for Michelle Pfieffer, I can confidently say Hathaway just doesn’t have what it takes. Not that she didn’t try.

Hathaway falls in the “too young to seem confidently sexy” category that many young starlets suffer from. They just don’t have the comfort in their own skins that comes across as subliminally attractive. Scarlett Johansson suffers from this big time. To me she acts and sounds like a little girl trapped in a Marilyn Monroe body. She doesn’t own it yet. One day she will, but not yet. There is an allure that only comes with age. Thought I appreciate Nolan’s casting of a more “everyday-looking woman” in the role of Catwoman, the character needs to be played by someone older, someone with years of experience in their face and in their voice.

Truthfully, I kept forgetting that Catwoman was even in the movie, which is sad, because CATWOMAN IS THE SEXYSHIZNITZ.

I’ve suffered from penis envy most of my life. I typically want to be middle-aged Jewish dudes, but Catwoman left a mark on me that has never been forgotten.

Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman particularly made every woman bow their head in shame for not coming close in womanliness.

Look at this woman! LOOK AT HER! LOOK HOW SEXY SHE IS!

AGAIN!

AND AGAIN!

AND THIS!

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9 Comments

  • Reply Miss L July 20, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    OMG, I agree totally. That PVC outfit is classic. Your (I am assuming) rendition is pretty cute too.. me-OW!

  • Reply Adria July 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Catwoman has been my obsession since I was six and watched the 60s tv show with Julie Newmar…now THAT was Catwoman. Not that Michelle Pfeiffer wasn’t fantastic, but hot damn Julie Newmar had it going on.

    Okay, putting away the girl crush. Fucking Anne Hathaway, man. Totally agree and I haven’t even seen the movie yet. Oy.

  • Reply Greg K. July 25, 2012 at 10:45 am

    Shiny black pointy ears would even ruin the great Sophia Loren–and she’s peak sex.

    That said, you are spot on saying A. Hathaway is adorable so poorly cast for this film.
    Gah. That, and the whole “trilogy” thing.

  • Reply pete August 11, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    First, Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman is more of the Catwoman from the comic books. Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman is a derange lunatic, that had nine lives. Hathaway’s Catwoman is cool under pressure, smart, strong, and can fight. Keep in mind , Anne was following Chris Nolan’s vision of Catwoman, not Tim Burton’s vision of Catwoman. So , you really cannot compare these two versions , because they are completely different. It is like comparing apples and oranges.

    That being said, my favorite is Hathaway’s version because it is more in line with the comic books. I don’t care what anybody says, Anne brought sex appeal, complexity, intelligence, humor and charisma without going over-the-top, like Michelle. For the most part, she was always confident. I liked Pfeiffer’s performance, but I do not prefer her version of Catwoman . I didn’t want to see a unstable and emotionally wounded Catwoman.

    Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but most of the film critics have mentioned that Anne’s Catwoman is the highlight of the movie, and I couldn’t agree more. I missed Hathaway when she wasn’t on screen in TDKR- be it as Catwoman or Selina kyle. And, to date, the best chemistry Christian Bale has had with a leading lady is with Anne Hathaway.

  • Reply WALTER December 4, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    APPARENTLY YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER..THE REAL..THE ONE AND ONLY CATWOMAN…JULIE NEWMAR

  • Reply Andie December 25, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    I thought Anne Hathaway made a fantastic catwoman. I didn’t think so when the casting was first made, but she blew me away!

  • Reply Natasha March 9, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    TO ME

    Halle Berry – CHEESY

    Anne Hathaway – BATGIRL

    Michelle P – CATWOMAN

  • Reply me July 18, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    Michelle Pfeiffer just has that special something about her she played the role like it was her.Michell is not only stunning she is naturally sexy.Anne Hathaway just seemed forced,stiff not only was she boring,irritating she just wasn’t sexy.Anne will do better to stick to the boring movies she’s good at sexy is not it.Anne knew it was going to be hard to fill Michelle P role and she did not blow anyone away with her performance she didn’t come close to portraying Catwoman.

  • Reply William8 December 18, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    I think Anne Hathaway should still be catwoman because Michelle Pfeiffer is not sexy enough.

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