When I’m not eating at Taco Bueno, I sometimes eat healthy.
Actually, like most Americans, I have a completely bipolar view of food where I’ll go long stretches of eating hairy-armpit-Birkenstock-sandals food or Spaghetti-O’s.
Sometimes I’ll take the middle ground and eat Annie’s P’Sghetti Loops with Soy Meatballs.
Anyways, I’ve been on a healthy kick lately because I’ve been sick.
I’ve been hearing so much “Kale this! Kale that!” on the Internetz that I decided to jump on the foodie bandwagon and make myself kale chips.
They’re easy as shit to make.
You need: Kale, salt, tin foil, backing sheet, oven, lights so you can see what you’re doing, arms to place the chips in the oven and eyes to make sure you don’t burn yourself when taking the kale chips out of the oven. Clothing is optional. I decided to make these chips in my pjs with makeup on from the night before.
So, you see here? I’ve ripped up pieces of raw kale to look like chips and placed them on a baking sheet. Once they’re baked, these puppies are going to be tiny-ass chips. They might even taste like air once done (I’ll fast forward to the ending here: They DO taste like air once baked)
Here I drizzled oil and sprinkled sea salt onto the kale. This is the hardest part of the recipe. If you can’t do this, then I’d give up on life. Set the oven to 275 and bake the chips for 10-15 minutes. I had a picture of me doing this but it came out blurry. Try baking in one hand and taking a photo in the other. TRY IT! It ain’t easy.
When the kale is done baking, they come out looking like tiny ninja death stars. If you’re not careful, they’ll ninja-up your mouth too. These little buttfaces are sharp!
Wow. Kale chips aren’t that great. If fact, they taste like the shit that is sometime stuck underneath your pizza. No, they taste like carcinogens.
Dear God! Get this taste out of my mouth!