Austin, Pop Culture

Top Ten Reasons I’m Excited Trader Joe’s is Coming to Austin

Hallelujah! Trader Joe’s is coming to Austin!

Here are the top ten reasons I just pissed my pants.

1.) I can finally try whatever the hell this gift from God is:

It tastes like gingerbread AND crushed biscuits! (pic by Chrissie!)

2.) I can pretend that I know a lot about wine because the walls of my house will be lined with Two Buck Chuck.

3.) I will no longer have to overdose on Xanax to fight the hordes of college students while getting lost at HEB Hancock.

4.) When I need a Chinese Orange Chicken fix, I no longer have to drive all the way to Panda Express with the look of a crack addict fighting withdrawal. I can buy this:

5.) I can stop crying on a nightly basis.

6.) I can pretend that I know how to cook because Trader Joe’s has THE MOST AMAZING GOURMET FREEZER FOOD ON THE PLANET!!!!!

7.) I can pull my Hawaiian shirt out of the closet and wear it proudly because a Trader Joe’s style trend will catch like wildfire in Austin.

8.) I can stick my face in this:

 9.) I can sleep well at night knowing that magical Trader Joe’s elves are happily employed and able to freely produce their magic on a daily basis.

 10.) I can stop feeling culturally inferior to my friends in NYC, Boston,  Chicago and LA.

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  • Reply Lauren L. April 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    #3 so much.. that HEB is the worst in Austin, but I am kind of a Randall’s/Fresh Plus gal, anyway

    • Reply hipstercrite April 18, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      I like Randall’s but it feels expensive to me.

    • Reply David W. April 18, 2012 at 10:27 pm

      Hey! That HEB is an Austin rite of passage. Also, it allows me to release aggression by “accidentally” crashing my cart into undergrads’ carts full of ramen noodles and PBR.

      • Reply hipstercrite April 18, 2012 at 10:30 pm


  • Reply Ryan April 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    Ahem- Boston has Trader Joe’s too… but yea- that’s where the cultural superiority pretty much ends.

    • Reply hipstercrite April 18, 2012 at 5:00 pm


  • Reply Trina April 18, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    Ok, you had me at “THE MOST AMAZING GOURMET FREEZER FOOD ON THE PLANET!!!!!”. I hate cooking.

  • Reply hlk April 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    You can get that cookie butter at Central Market and stuff currently. It’s just this, re-branded for Trader Joe’s:

    I have both versions in my pantry at the moment and the ingredient lists are identical. Also, it’s effing amazing.

    Still excited for TJ’s.

    • Reply hipstercrite April 18, 2012 at 5:09 pm

      You know, I think someone told me that before! I forgot! Thanks!

      • Reply hlk April 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm

        Actually, most of the products at Trader Joe’s can be found elsewhere, wearing different labels, with some sleuthing. They have a lot of great stuff packed in one little store, though, and the prices can’t be beat. And it’s just a fun place to shop.

  • Reply Cathy Benavides April 18, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    While I am pretty excited about trying this magical Trader Joe’s that everyone is buzzing about, you and I need to have words about the Hawaiian shirt thing. Just say no my friend, just….. say….. no……

    • Reply hipstercrite April 18, 2012 at 10:31 pm

      HA! i don’t really own a Hawaiian shirt. TJ’s is amazing, Cathy! you’re going to love it!

  • Reply kim April 18, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    I’m excited about Trader Joes, but I hope the parking is not a freaking nightmare. Of course, parking is a nightmare at CM and Whole Foods.

    • Reply hipstercrite April 18, 2012 at 10:31 pm

      i’m sure it’s going to be pretty nutty there the first few weeks too. 🙁

  • Reply Vince April 18, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    The Trader Ming’s Orange Chicken is pretty correct

    • Reply hipstercrite April 18, 2012 at 10:30 pm

      isn’t it amazing? ugh. i miss it so much.

  • Reply Pandora April 18, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    The Two Buck Chuck is a good reason to stop crying on a nightly basis. Think I’ll pick up a bottle myself tonight.

    So happy you’re gettin’ a Trader Joe’s. I love the place.

  • Reply Ivan Toblog April 19, 2012 at 1:14 am

    Triple Ginger Cookies

  • Reply Kory April 19, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    Don’t forget simpler times beer…….6% alcohol @ $2.99 a six pack…..I love wholefoods and HEB, but they are no trader joes

  • Reply Rico April 23, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    seriously is there anything better than two buck chuck and the story behind it?

    • Reply hipstercrite April 26, 2012 at 5:58 pm

      What’s the story behind it? Tell me!

  • Reply Letty April 26, 2012 at 1:45 am

    Two Buck Chuck is one of the only things I miss about living in LA.

    • Reply hipstercrite April 26, 2012 at 3:43 pm

      Me too!

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