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Austin downtown

Austin, Pop Culture

Top Ten Reasons I’m Excited Trader Joe’s is Coming to Austin

Hallelujah! Trader Joe’s is coming to Austin!

Here are the top ten reasons I just pissed my pants.

1.) I can finally try whatever the hell this gift from God is:

It tastes like gingerbread AND crushed biscuits! (pic by Chrissie!)


2.) I can pretend that I know a lot about wine because the walls of my house will be lined with Two Buck Chuck.

3.) I will no longer have to overdose on Xanax to fight the hordes of college students while getting lost at HEB Hancock.

4.) When I need a Chinese Orange Chicken fix, I no longer have to drive all the way to Panda Express with the look of a crack addict fighting withdrawal. I can buy this:

5.) I can stop crying on a nightly basis.

6.) I can pretend that I know how to cook because Trader Joe’s has THE MOST AMAZING GOURMET FREEZER FOOD ON THE PLANET!!!!!

7.) I can pull my Hawaiian shirt out of the closet and wear it proudly because a Trader Joe’s style trend will catch like wildfire in Austin.

8.) I can stick my face in this:

 9.) (more…)