Hipstercrite Life

When Your Boyfriend Wants to Go to Space

There is a very real issue challenging my relationship with my boyfriend and that issue is space.

Not in like that my boyfriend needs his alone time and distance, but more like he wants to go to outer space.

It’s an issue in our relationship because I don’t want him to go to space, but I also live by the rule not to tell your partner what to do.

My boyfriend really wants to go to space and why should I deprive him of that?

However, when I think of him in astronaut regalia being catapulted into the great abyss in a spaceship, it makes me curl up into a ball.

The topic of space makes me resort back into a little girl and ask through tears, “Why boyfriend? Why do you want to go to space?”

Now how is my boyfriend going to space? Well, he’s not. At least not yet.

No, he’s not one of those rich assholes who bought themselves a ticket on Richard Branson’s 70’s-looking love ship. He’s applying to become an astronaut. NASA has an open call for astronauts.

Yep.

My boyfriend thinks he’s a good candidate because he has a high IQ and excelled in all areas required to become an astronaut. Both of these statements are true and that is why I’m worried he’s going to space.

He said I should apply too, but I suck at math AND I’M TERRIFIED OF DRIFTING THROUGH NOTHINGNESS.

Seriously, who the f wants to go to space? It’s quite possibly the most dangerous landscape man can traverse. Except for maybe the deep sea. At least there aren’t giant squids in space. Can you imagine? This tiny spaceship traveling through space, then- BAM!- this ginormous squid comes out of nowhere and wraps it’s tentacles around the helpless machine, sloshing it around like a little bitch?

Sigh.

What would you do? If your significant other wanted to go to space would you want them to go? Would you go with them?

DAMN YOU, SPACE!

 

 

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18 Comments

  • Reply Allison January 10, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    Awe – this is sorta funny though…like a little boy’s dream or something.

    I’m upset that my boyfriend is going away for work soon across the country for a few months, I can’t imagine space!

    • Reply hipstercrite January 10, 2012 at 11:10 pm

      A few months is a long time! Even though it’s across the country, it’s still a long time. I don’t think they send people into space for that long. At least I hope not!!!

      • Reply Allison January 11, 2012 at 1:16 am

        Yeah, I don’t know how long people go into space. And yes, I’m dreading those couple of months ๐Ÿ™

  • Reply illunatic January 10, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    There was an episode of Big Bang Theory about this. A guy who was going to actually go to space and his girlfriend not wanting him too.

    In the end, life is the most dangerous landscape man can traverse. Whatever risks it presents will likely bring a rewarding experience.

    My gf would probably be thrilled to ship me out to space. ๐Ÿ˜

    • Reply hipstercrite January 10, 2012 at 11:09 pm

      HA! Awww…don’t say that!
      I’ve never seen Big Bang Theory. Is it good?

  • Reply girluntitled January 10, 2012 at 6:27 pm

    i know how feel…EXACTLY.

    my old bf was an astrophysicist and applied to NASA as well…but since they only allow 2 canadian astronauts at a time, it is really competitive and you hafta go through a series of interviews. i think he made it to the 4th round of interviews, but then got vetoed. i’m thinking they have the same sorta thing for american astronauts so i’m sure you have nothing to worry about.

    • Reply hipstercrite January 10, 2012 at 11:08 pm

      wow! that’s really interesting and impressive. getting to the 4th round must be hard! geoff figures he won’t make it, but i still worry. it’s what i do best. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Reply Randall January 10, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    Man. This is just not an issue that comes up a lot.

    • Reply hipstercrite January 10, 2012 at 11:07 pm

      Ha! I don’t know. Looks like J has a similar issue!

  • Reply J January 10, 2012 at 11:05 pm

    Its not, but it should be! I laughed so hard when I saw this post! I have this “discussion” with my boyfriend weekly and it stresses me out as well. He pretty much swears hes getting on the Virgin Galactica. And even if he doesnt there is still climbing Mt.Everest, base jumping& flying a fighter jet. I mean seriously??? Don’t you want to live? Sigh.

    • Reply hipstercrite January 10, 2012 at 11:07 pm

      Whoa boy! Hahaha. Maybe your boyfriend and my boyfriend should hang out!

  • Reply David L January 11, 2012 at 6:06 am

    #whitegirlproblems

    • Reply hipstercrite January 11, 2012 at 2:43 pm

      #therewere19africanamericanastronauts

  • Reply Leroy January 11, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    Man up and let your man go to space. Doing thins like this are what really matter long term.

    • Reply hipstercrite January 11, 2012 at 5:20 pm

      But I’m a woman! Hahaha, and you’re right.

  • Reply Adria January 11, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    Of course you could worry about this, but why not just be excited about the prospect and then see what happens. It’s not much more dangerous just to live each day and drive a car and all that, which I’m sure will worry you more, but we take chances every moment of every day, if he is awarded the chance to go to SPACE that would be a serious honor and you’d have to buck up and be supportive.

    Funny concept, though. ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck, it sounds like a lot of fun. I’d apply if I wasn’t also awful at math.

  • Reply nova January 11, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    I am never going into outer space and feel very passionately about it. So much so that if this were my boyfriend, we might break up over it. No joke. FUCK OUTER SPACE, it’s terrifying. I mean, what’s with the vacuum, asshole? Where’s all the oxygen? HUH? And how far does it go out there? And what happens to the sound? And what is a black hole? And … noooooo. No thank you.

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