The "Young, Creative Urbanite" In Its Many Forms

Are you sick of all this hipster talk on the web?
Yeah, I kind of am too.
Don’t let the name of my blog fool you.
That was just for branding purposes.

People have been trying to kill off hipsters for a long time now.
The truth of the matter is, the phrase blew into epic proportions that society lost control of.
Now they’re trying to reel it back in.

“Hipster” became an easy way to identify any young person who 1.) wears trendy or vintage clothing 2.) has interests other than mainstream contemporary culture 3.) has a creative job or no job.

Shit, that’s like 75% of young people nowadays. It’s not fair to lump everyone into one identifying phrase…

…You have to break them up into 4 or 5 identifying phrases, duh!

Second to Brooklyn, the supposed epicenter of Hipsterville, I would take a guess that Austin, Texas and Portland, Oregon vie for the next spot in line. Since I live in Austin, I can tell you that it is one giant cesspool of every facet of hipsterdom.

But I don’t want to use that word- hipster anymore. I want to share with you all the unique demographics that exist within the world of the “young, creative urbanite”.

1.) The I-Repurpose-Old-Jeans-Almost-As-Well-As-I-Roll-Through-Stop-Signs-Dude: You know who I’m talking about. The 6’2″, 140-pound fixed gear guy with cut-off jeans, flannel shirt, giant holes in his ears, irreverent tattoos, a couch for a bed, and a master’s degree. He can’t take you out to dinner because he doesn’t have a job or a car and he won’t visit his wealthy family during the holidays because they don’t watch The Jon Stewart Show. He has a few PIs under his belt and he is more than happy to get into a drunken argument with you about the conspiracies of 9/11.

His female counterpart, The-I-Probably-Play-Guitar-Better-Than-You-Chick, is comparably dressed and tattooed but instead of a skeleton-like appearance, her petite frame supports a tiny muffin-top due to the beer she drinks to keep up with the dudes. She most likely drives a muscle car and all the gentleman are both equally turned on and petrified of her mad skills.

2.) The I-Believe-I’m-The-Reincarnation-of-James-Joyce-Gentleman: I dated one of these “gentlemen”. You know, the ones that creamed their pants while they watched There Will Be Blood? They wear three-piece wool suits in the dead of summer and prefer to live in a scabies-riddled cabin out near the airport. They believe they’re going to be the next Arlo Guthrie and they write poetry about how their mother fucked up their view of women. They drive a beat-up Ford truck from the 50’s and their vintage cowboy boots and Telecaster mean more to them than you ever will.

The female counterpart is The I-Wish-I-Was-Betty-Draper-Lady and they will use any social event to dress in their great-grandmother’s cocktail dress and costume jewelry. They take their baking cue from Amy Sedaris and they like thrift shopping for their Etsy store on the weekends. You can often find them at home drinking a bottle of white wine and watching Grace Kelly films for inspiration.

3.) The I-Want-To-Be-Dov-Chanery’s-Girfriend-Or-I-Like-Loooove-Doing-Coke-So-Much!-Scenester: This is the hipster that give hipsters a bad name. The Scenester Hipster. The one that has a Lookbook page where they look like they’re suffering from arthritis and lockjaw. The one who appears striking a pose in about 200 random photos over the course of a Friday night. The one who says things like, “See that dude over there? I totally let him f*ck me in the butt the other night,” as she drunkenly slides down the light post out in front of the club. They’re beautiful and they’re smart, but both attributes get muddled by the insecurity that overshadows the real them.

Her male counter-part is The Does-This-V-Neck-Make-Me-Look-Fat?-Scenester. He’s the guy that wears horn-rimmed glasses whether he needs to or not. We wears a lot of neon and thinks that handle bar mustaches make him look adorable (they do). The interesting thing about him- you can’t tell if he’s 18 years old and works at American Apparel or 30 years old and owns his own web design company.

4.) The I-Was-Listening-To-The-Drums-Since-Before-They-Were-Even-Born!-Guy: This is your quintessential record-buying, Lou Reed-idolizing, David-Lynch-obsessed, Wes-Anderson-stylized hipster. The film school drop-out who digs anything that is counter culture- like Dash Snow or Jay Reatard- whether there is any artistic value or not. They make questionable mix media art in their converted loft downtown. They call themselves vegan even though they’ll make an exception for Taco Bell late-night drive-thru and they go to AA meetings (not American Apparel AA).

His female counter-part is The I’ve-Been-Listening-To-The-Drums-Since-Before-They-Were-Even-Born!-Girl. There is little that differentiates her from the male version except that she looks like Daria which scratches the surface of a nostalgic pull that drives her contemporaries crazy. She also has a mustache collection where as her male counter-part can’t even grow a mustache.

And you can call bullshit on any of these posts, because I am a little bit of all of them (except for the coke snorter)
…and that’s really how my blog got its name.
Who am I forgetting?
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  • Reply rae November 2, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    This is a good one. I laughed at each.

  • Reply Adria November 2, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    haha, yes, all so true!

    You're forgetting the outdoorsy, skateboarding, neo-reggae, infrequently showering, brain fried by psychedelic drugs, just-graduated-state-school "hipsters"

  • Reply Christin November 2, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    nailed it on the head. perfect. how about the "i graduated from college 4 years ago and got a job as a teacher so i can paint during work" 'hipster'. i have a few friends like that.

  • Reply theTsaritsa November 2, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    I used to know all those people when I lived in Philly. I do not consider myself a hipster, but I am a young, unemployed American-apparel t-shirt wearing kid so I get lumped in with them.

    What do you call the 20-something poet/rapper who has a painting of ODB on her wall and used to work in insurance? That's me!

  • Reply Brooke Farmer November 2, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    So funny. My brother is every one of those guys rolled into one. Maybe he is supposed to live in Austin instead of L.A.

  • Reply This Is Kami November 2, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    What about the Neo-Hippie/Boho Hipster? They're sort of a staple of the Austin "scene" no?

  • Reply Christina In Wonderland November 3, 2010 at 1:13 am

    "The I've-Been-Listening-To-The-Drums-Since-Before-They-Were-Even-Born!-Girl."

    That's probably what I would be, except minus the mustache collection.

    As sad as it is to say, I grow one of those one my own. 🙁 It's a horrible existence.

  • Reply carissajade November 3, 2010 at 4:53 am

    Geez. The fact that I've dated every guy hipster on your list makes me cry. My last was the vintage wearing, mustache sporting, short tight shorts loving, Obsessed with Tom Waits and Elvis Costello sort… which is really a combo of all of the above.

  • Reply Jamie Pilgrim November 3, 2010 at 10:34 am

    Clever! I went to an art school in the heart of Minneapolis and I think you hit the nail on the head!

  • Reply Tony Russo November 3, 2010 at 11:20 am

    You guys need a better name. I suggest switching out "creative" for "artistic" and going with Yauies (pronounced Yowies) or maybe Yauists ('cause it's a hair more ironic). That way you can keep the lifestyle but lose the connotation.

  • Reply Benny November 3, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Haha yes! In addition to nodding and smiling at the types, I also laughed out loud at "Don't let the name of my blog fool you. That was just for branding purposes."
    I'd add the "type" that I seem to fit, which is the type who makes a big fuss about how he unironically likes mainstream stuff, like Taco Bell or Long Island. For a while, I thought I was just above it all and a "non-hipster." Then I realized that the average "non-hipster" wouldn't make such a big deal about liking that stuff. I feel like I know lots of other people who fit the type. Not sure what to call it.

  • Reply Jesse November 3, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    Damn. I think you have me pegged with the "James Joyce Gentleman". We're not all bad … really.

  • Reply Jesse November 3, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    Damn. I think you have me pegged with the "James Joyce Gentleman". We're not all bad … really.

  • Reply Jesse November 3, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    Damn. I think you have me pegged with the "James Joyce Gentleman". We're not all bad … really.

  • Reply Mademoiselle Hautemess November 3, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    I love this! And now I plan to play hipster bingo next time I hit up Brooklyn! I shall try to locate all of your special types! 😉

  • Reply tee November 4, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    I can't think of anyone that's missing but number 2 is friggin hot. And I don't even know what his face looks like. ::swoon::

  • Reply Austin Eavesdropper November 5, 2010 at 1:08 am

    GAH!!!! So, so true, Lauren!

    All Young, Creative Urbanites you identified are in full effect in Austin, Texas.

    In my life, I have dated both:

    James Joyce Gentleman, and

    I-Was-Listening-To-The-Drums-Before-They-Were-Cool Gentleman.

    And sadly, I totally aspire to dress like Betty Draper. With fantasies of the Lookbook lockjaw type – whose outfits I can never pull off.

  • Reply The Mad Dame November 5, 2010 at 7:28 am

    You covered all the basics for sure. Great list.

  • Reply Tara November 6, 2010 at 3:53 am

    Very funny. I go to a small liberal arts college and there are quite a few of these people here…Sometimes they get called the UO's (Urban Outfitters) because that's where a lot of them shop. Good blog!

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