My Halloween Costume (Fail)- Freddie Mercury

As most of you know- because I yaked on about it enough- I’m going as Freddie Mercury for Halloween.

I take dressing up very seriously.
Maybe even a little too seriously.
For some reason, I still believe that if I truly want to become someone, I will physically transform into them.
Imagine my disappointment when after dressing up as Freddie Mercury last night, I realized I’m still just a tiny white girl and not a large-toothed, hairball Parsi with the vocal cords of a God.

1.) I survived a visit to Austin’s favorite costume store- Lucy In Disguise With Diamonds to pick up my Freddie mustache, chest hair, spirit gum (adhesive), and spirit gum remover.

2.) I asked the employee if they sell chest hair and she handed me what looked like a stoner’s ratty chin braid. Once home, I unraveled the lock of hair to discover the left-overs of Alec Baldwin getting a full body shave.

3.) I could barely contain my excitement of donning chest hair later in the evening…
4.) But when I put it on, I realized that I looked like Robin Williams and I got scared.
4.) My excitement now deflated, I decided to move onto to the mustache. I trimmed it a little bit, then slopped on as much spirit gum as I could.

5.) Oh, dear God…

6.) I realized that I had to stop being a pussy…

7.) …And own Freddie Mercury.

Who am I kidding? I look like I ate Burt Reynolds circa 1972 and then regurgitated him all over myself.
What are you going as for Halloween?
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  • Reply Robbie October 29, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    Theres a guy in the pub I work at that is coming to our party as Gomez Adams. For the last 2 weeks plus he has been growing his moustache. Thats commitment to a costume.

    But yours is looking like it's coming together. Hope you dont have any upperlipslips. Good luck with the final product

  • Reply theTsaritsa October 29, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    The clothes make the costume! Just don something fabulous and sing Queen songs all night– you'll be great!

    I kinda like the chest hair, it looks really awesome.

  • Reply Linda October 29, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    LOVE it. You truly commit.

  • Reply joanna October 29, 2010 at 4:15 pm


  • Reply Mademoiselle Hautemess October 29, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    A fake mustache is such a beautiful thing! LOVE THIS!

  • Reply Amanda October 29, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    As long as you can still drink with that mustache on, work it girl.

    I'm going to be a bluestocking. And by that I mean I'm going to make the real bluestockings role over in their spinster graves with blue thigh highs and a short skirt.

    I think Dorothy Parker, had she donned blue stockings, would be proud of my decision.

  • Reply Christopher October 29, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    ha, that was rather adorable

  • Reply Jill October 29, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    lol omg
    i give you props girl!
    That is one brave costume. I'm being a radio city rockette this year, but I'm afraid I'm going to be confused with a slutty mrs.santa claus lol because it has booty shorts.

  • Reply Hipstercrite October 29, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    @Robbie- Gosh, you should see the hipsters in Austin, TX. They all have mustaches and all want to look like famous people with mustaches!

    @Tsaritsa- I'm going to wear tight black pants, a white under shirt, and a black English military-looking jacket.

    @Linda- Hahaha…sigh.

    @Joanna- Maybe it will be a new fashion trend? Women with chest hair?

    @Hautemess- I love real and fake mustaches. Well, not a real mustache on me, but on dudes.

    @Amanda- Well, you learn something new every day. I had to look that one up. Kudos to you!

    @Christopher- Why, thank you. 😉

    @Jill- Maybe you can be both?

  • Reply William October 29, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    I'm a colourless Mad Hatter, and here today at work rocking it!

  • Reply laurenne October 30, 2010 at 5:31 am

    dude! You're a HOT Freddie. I love it.

  • Reply Trina Hernández October 30, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    I don't know what you're talking about, that chest hair is awesome. Although, that expression you made along with the comment about looking like Robin Williams was a bit accurate. Once you slapped on the 'stache and 'tude, you were slowly transforming into FM. Hope you have a lovely Halloween! I'm not one for dressing up or partying, so I'll be home watching TV. Yay!

  • Reply amy October 30, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    You look AMAZING! I must prefer awesomely hilarious costumes to ones that try to be cutesy/sexy. (Because that's just lame.)

  • Reply Melanie's Randomness October 30, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    Your not Lady Gaga or Snookie but original so I give you a big A+!! With the clothes & the microphone & the attitude your golden. It works!!! Happy Halloween!!

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