Hipstercrite - Page 88 of 97

Writing

You Can’t Take a Picture of This, It’s Already Gone

“Home is where I want to be pick me up and turn me ’round”– Talking Heads

It’s that time again.
That time of the year that you go home. To the place that you experienced your childhood. The place your Mom and Dad live. The place that has the only bed that has ever mattered.
The place that still holds onto the life that you left behind when you were told to grow up.

But each time you go home. It feels a little different. A little off.
You can’t quite put your finger on it as you stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars you affixed to your ceiling seventeen years ago.

Why don’t I feel like I’m home? This looks like my home. Those are the same stickers on the back of my door, whose exact trace has never left my fingers. Those are the same milky stains in the floorboards, whose existence came to be as Sammy aged and became incontinent. Those are the same windows that over look the highway, whose path took me away from here five years ago.

This trip you decide you’re going to dig a little deeper. Tear away (more…)

December 25, 2009 by hipstercrite

Writing

When You Give a Man Luck, He Must Fall in the Sea

Sick + finishing up guest post for My Soul is a Butterfly for tomorrow = Lame ass photo post today.

Make sure to tune in tomorrow to read the sweet, melodic words of Hannah Miet.

The only place open after 5PM Sunday in Lonelytown, NY

I have come 500 miles just to see a halo

83 and tired

Dogs love it when you do this

Favorite thing to wake up to in the morning

$1.61 find at the local thrift store

December 23, 2009 by hipstercrite

Austin

The World is Really Wild at Heart and Weird on Top, Lula Thought

I’m sitting in a cracked leather booth somewhere in the desert of west Texas.

I squint through the blinds and a faded sign tells me that I’m at Papa’s Pantry in Van Horn.
There are three ceiling fans in Papa’s Pantry.

They’re lazy, just like the tongue of the waitress who brings me my iced tea.
Wait, aren’t I still in Los Angeles?

Who are these two guys sitting behind me with cowboy hats?

Typically such a scene would mean I wandered onto a movie set.

But there are no lights and cameras in Papa’s Pantry.

I take a deep breathe and let out a slow exhale. Somebody has finally released the nozzle and let all the air out.

It feels good.
It feels terrifying.

I slept in Lourdsburg, New Mexico last night. A railroad town, a border town. Not a ghost walked the lone sidewalk. I drove down the main drag to one cheap motel after another. Neglected and outdated signs guiding the way. They all looked the same. Midnight and stucco. Cream and rot. Somewhere in the dark, I spotted a florescent beacon that told (more…)

December 21, 2009 by hipstercrite

Austin

This Must Be The Place (Not a Naive Melody)

With the new year pending, you’re probably thinking, “January 1st will be a good time to abandon the wife and child in the night and start a new life somewhere else”.

Well don’t come to Austin, TX.

Especially if you’re from L.A.

I was the last person they let in from California here in Texas. The gates are locked and they don’t want anyone else, you hear?

I’m sorry California didn’t give you your tax return this year but go to South Dakota or Idaho. The unemployment rate is ridiculously low there right now. Let me tell you, animal husbandry will be ten times more rewarding than being a corporate drone.

———————–

Austin is too good for me. I don’t deserve her.
She took me in with open arms after I tore away from the suffocating hands of Los Angeles. No questions asked. Just picked me up, brushed me off, and rocked me to sleep.
She’s still rocking me.

When people ask me, “So, how is living in Texas?” with that little grin suggesting what they’re really asking is, “So, what on Earth possessed (more…)

December 20, 2009 by hipstercrite

Writing

Best of ’09 According to a Shut-In Pt. 1

This will be the most uninformed “Best of List” of 2009 that you’ve read.

What is Your Favorite of ’09?

———————-

Best Movie:

“Precious”

I don’t think I’ve seen a single new movie this year.

Wow.

That’s really an amazing feat, you know?

I think the only other person to do that was my Great Aunt Stella who sat/slept in the same reclining chair and watched “Matlock” every day until she died.

Well, we see where I’m headed.

However, one movie I’ve wanted to see all year was Precious. After frequently getting up in the middle of the trailer to curl up into a ball on the bathroom floor, I haven’t been able to bring myself to see it.

What do you guys think of it?

Best Album:

“Up From Below” by Edward Sharpe and the Magentic Zeros.

Probably one of the most refreshing acts out there now. How can you not love a band that has like a gazillion members, old school instruments, travels around on a vintage bus, and has lyrics like, “Chocolate Candy Jesus Christ”?

CHOCOLATE CANDY JESUS CHRIST!

It’s (more…)

December 18, 2009 by hipstercrite

Writing

TSSF- Twenty-Something Shit Fest

For the love of God! I don’t think I’ve ever been this depressed before! This has to be the lowest I’ve ever felt in my entire life! I am so unbelievably lost and lonely right now! My brain hurts and my heart perpetually aches! I don’t think it can get any worse than this!

Just when I think my twenties have reached the pinnacle of patheticness, I flip through my diary and am surprised to discover the same sentences, word for word, written every couple of months for the past five years.

What the fuck?

Have I been this whiny for awhile now? Or do I just have a pension for exclamations and dramatic adjectives like most girls my age?

Can someone please explain to me why during the most exciting time in our lives, we are positively convinced that we’re doomed to a lifetime of soul-charring careers and vapid relationships that culminates in a house filled with an array of pets named after our favorite soap stars and a refrigerator covered in pictures of other people’s children? Jason and Melissa’s (more…)

December 17, 2009 by hipstercrite

Writing

Televangelism Fashion

Sometimes I think about turning my blog into a fashion blog.

Fashion blogs always seem to be the belle of the ball.

The hit of the party.

The slut of the kegger.

They always get the most traffic and the most comments.

Which is interesting, because they’re usually written by a doe-eyed thirteen year-old girl from Winnipeg who likes to stand pigeon-toed and wear her Grandma’s reading glasses.

Anytime I do write about fashion, it’s one of three things- vintage clothing, making fun of American Apparel, and making fun of American Apparel while forgetting that I’m wearing an entire American Apparel ensemble.

However, I thought today that I might write a fashion post for a dude named Oral.

Yes, Oral.

Oral died yesterday and I had no idea who the heck he was. In fact, I’m super hung-up on the fact that a couple decided to name their kid Oral and haven’t read anything past that.

According to CNN, he was an extremely old Evangelist.

This is very fitting because I’ve always had a thing for popular, eccentric (more…)

December 16, 2009 by hipstercrite

Writing

Thank You For the Big Schnoz, Great-Grandma Sophie

Like every modern vintage lovin’/aspiring DIY hipster in Austin, TX, I will attempt to sell old clothing.

Wait. “Old clothing” makes it sound smelly; like it’s been sitting in some shut-in’s trunk in the basement for 35 years. These are “carefully selected vintage styles most likely owned by old ladies who took better care of their dresses than their children”.

SGF and I did a photo shoot this weekend for my impending Etsy page. These are some out takes.

What do you all think?

Or better yet, does anyone want to buy one of these pieces?

Girl not included, but beer can definitely is.

December 14, 2009 by hipstercrite

Writing

What a Fool Believes

“I’m concerned”, I said to my psychiatrist as I looked down at my thumbs.
God, they’re some big ass fucking thumbs.

“I’m concerned because I’m starting to like Michael McDonald and I’m not sure what to do.”

I don’t have a therapist.
However, I did at one point.
If I still had a therapist this would be the first thing I’d say to her as I sit down for my session.

It does concern me that I no longer have the distinct urge to rip my face off and sling it against a window when I hear Michael McDonald. Even worse, sometimes you’ll find me standing on a table, very enthusiastically shouting, “No, seriously guys, even the black folks think Darryl Hall is awesome.”

I want to know what this all means. Does it signify that I’m getting old? Does the moment you go from thinking, “Quick! “Saturday in the Park” is making my ears bleed” to “Hey, don’t change the station, I kind of dig Chicago” signify the immediate transition from young person into adult? Will Peter Cetera and Bruce Hornsby(more…)

December 14, 2009 by hipstercrite

Writing