Writing

Best of ’09 According to a Shut-In Pt. 1

This will be the most uninformed “Best of List” of 2009 that you’ve read.

What is Your Favorite of ’09?
———————-

Best Movie:

“Precious”
I don’t think I’ve seen a single new movie this year.
Wow.
That’s really an amazing feat, you know?
I think the only other person to do that was my Great Aunt Stella who sat/slept in the same reclining chair and watched “Matlock” every day until she died.
Well, we see where I’m headed.
However, one movie I’ve wanted to see all year was Precious. After frequently getting up in the middle of the trailer to curl up into a ball on the bathroom floor, I haven’t been able to bring myself to see it.
What do you guys think of it?

Best Album:
“Up From Below” by Edward Sharpe and the Magentic Zeros.
Probably one of the most refreshing acts out there now. How can you not love a band that has like a gazillion members, old school instruments, travels around on a vintage bus, and has lyrics like, “Chocolate Candy Jesus Christ”?
CHOCOLATE CANDY JESUS CHRIST!
It’s a Jesus.
Made out of chocolate!
Check out their song ‘Home” below.

Sure, they may look slightly mentally challenged in the video but it’s because they’re really into, ok?

Best Song:
“While You Wait for the Others” Grizzly Bear featuring Michael Mcdonald.
Don’t argue with me on this, ok? You got a fucking quality song PLUS the sweet sounds of Michael McDonald. It’s like oldie meets indie in the best way possible (better than the Dirty Projects/David Byrne song, “Knotty Pine. David Byrne is my honey bunny, but that song blah).
Michael, make sure you give your agent a big X-mas gift this year for that nail.
Best TV Show:
“Glee” on FOX
I don’t actively watch prime time television (unless I’m home on holiday and watch marathons of “The George Lopez Show” and “Two and a Half Men” with my mother-….oh, and I’ll admit…I like them). However, “Glee” struck me because it reminded me of two of my favorite things on this planet- “Waiting for Guffman” and “Arrested Development”. This is all based off of watching one episode so it could be a big whopping piece of poop for all I know.
Best Book:
I don’t read contemporary fiction, but David Sedaris came out with a book this year and that’s all I need.
IT’S ALL I NEED!
Best Concert:
Always wanted to see a Frank Zappa show but never did?
No?
Oh, well, if you did, then seeing/hearing Dweezil Zappa is the closest thing. Not only is he an amazing guitarist in his own right, but he stays true to his Dad’s orchestrations and surrounds himself with extraordinary musicians who understand his Dad’s work. Close your eyes during a Dweezil Zappa show and you’re listening to Frank.

Best Celebrity Sighting:
Poodie

I don’t have any good stories this year. When I lived in L.A., I had great stories like feeling Jeff Goldblum’s boner against my leg and standing next to Stevie Wonder in a sushi restaurant watching Malcolm Jamal Warner do slam poetry about Bill Cosby. Best I have this year is meeting Willie Nelson’s manager named Poodie. And he died.


Best Fashion Trend:
Not the “Harem Pant”

I’m not sure what the best trend is this year, but I can certainly tell you what is NOT the best fashion trend. And that no good fashion trend is the Harem Pant.
No. Nope. Never.
Who the hell thought that looking like you took a dump in your pants was a good idea?
Which my mother snidely responded to on my Facebook status when I asked this- “Lauren, the harem pant has been around since the time of the harems, ok?”
Well, ok, Mom. Then the harems looked incontinent just like this chick does:



Best Dream:
“David Byrne with Snowflake Sweater”

The one I had involving David Byrne following me around a party with a glass of sherry and a cable knit sweater with a snowflake on it.
Best Crazy Person:
“Dinosaur on the Railroad Track”
The time I saw a dude having a tea party with a blow-up T-rex on the railroad tracks.



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24 Comments

  • Reply Wilde.Dash December 18, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    Yes! Edward Sharpe! So fantastic! You should check out my list of 50 favorite songs from 2009. Also, i'm with you on the harem pant, totally ranted about that months back…what the hell were they thinking?

    Dig the blog!

    Love&Squalor,

    wilde.dash

  • Reply Benny Paul December 18, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    Some articles of clothing make you think, "Well, that's not necessarily attractive, but it's creative and it looks comfortable." The harem pant looks neither attractive nor creative nor comfortable. If it doesn't die a quick death on its own, we should take drastic action.
    Edward Sharpe definitely deserves his spot on the top of all those lists. Touche. Someone who claims to be friends with him told me they weren't going to be around for much longer. Pity.

  • Reply Hipstercrite December 18, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    Wilde.Dash- I will check out your list now.

    Benny- Hahaha….yep! Yet the harem pant continues to make a comeback every decade. WHY?
    Why does your friend think they won't last????

  • Reply inflammatory writ December 18, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    The harem pant is so hideous that I literally think it was a joke developed by the fashion industry to see how many spaztards would actually wear the things.

  • Reply Sassy December 18, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    Oh my goodness, your mom and my mom both. My mom actually wrote me an email from Spain after I trashed the harem pant on my blog and then bought me a pair. Bitch.

  • Reply Hipstercrite December 18, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    Inflammatory and Sassy- You're right. I seriously don't know a single person who likes the harem pant. I'm not sure I've seen anyone where them either.

  • Reply Ray-Ray December 18, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    Precious looks like a really good movie (looks like it might make me cry too) But I doubt I'll reach England

  • Reply thatgalkiki December 19, 2009 at 2:15 am

    Great post! I am still reeling from Precious.

  • Reply Benny Paul December 19, 2009 at 3:43 am

    Well, from what I heard, there was just some drama and exhaustion and tension after they spent so much time together on that bus.
    It's funny- the friend who told me about them also introduced me to them. It was at a party and she played them in the background, like "This is my friend's band." About a month later I started seeing them pop up all over the internet.
    Mm… I imagine it's warm enough in Texas to have a train track tea party right now. Nice.
    And Glee only gets better as the season progresses. It's only fault is that pesky autotuning that makes the actors (most of whom are Broadway stars) sound like T-Pain.

  • Reply That Chelsea Girl™ December 19, 2009 at 3:50 am

    Harem pants are just awful, so I am glad that you were not deceived by this so-called trend.
    As for Precious…the book made me bawl my eyes out, so I probably will wait for the movie to come out on DVD before I see it. My fave was definitely Public Enemies, I'm a sucker for guns and historical dramas 🙂

  • Reply Metallo Bianco Jewelry December 19, 2009 at 5:03 am

    No, you are right…Glee is an awesome show…keep watching. But Harem pants…I don't know…I can only attribute it to super bored (or uninspired) designers that had a deadline to meet and at the time, this was all they could come up with? Who were they marketing these pants to again?

  • Reply A.J. Scott December 19, 2009 at 5:49 am

    watch precious….just dont watch it alone

  • Reply A.J. Scott December 19, 2009 at 5:49 am

    watch precious….just dont watch it alone

  • Reply Brittany December 19, 2009 at 7:53 am

    never heard of the movie precious. watched the trailer and found myself starting to cry mid-way through.
    doesn't help that i just watched a Tupac documentary and I'm feelin like a soul sista right now.

    thanks for puttin it on my radar though. definitely gonna hit that one up.

  • Reply Stephen K December 19, 2009 at 10:00 am

    Wow, even your Best of '09 is kooky and entirely non-mainstream 🙂 And it's completely fine to not have seen a brand new film as long as you've been watching good old ones. Precious isn't out over here yet, but I'll certainly keep an eye out!

  • Reply Maria Elise December 19, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    Love David Sedaris! Must get my head out of my ass though, had no idea he has a new book out to gush over. Holidays on Ice is my fave!

  • Reply Just me.... December 19, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    Hi there.. new to your blog… I have to say the Edward Sharpe video and song – one of the most happy-making things I've watched and heard in a long time. Thanks for sharing!
    h

  • Reply MeanDonnaJean December 19, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    Precious was freakin' great!…'n thanx to my cyber-snoopin'-son who somehow found the entire movie online 'n downloaded it for me, I got to view it right in the comfort of my own home. It's the first movie I've actually watched, either home or in theatre (I don't get out much), in approximately 15+ years now, but it sure as hell was well worth the wait. It made this tough ol' biker bitch bawl, that's for damn sure.

  • Reply EcoGrrl December 19, 2009 at 10:52 pm

    Precious was awesome. Some really great moments that crack you up that you won't expect. Really interesting cinematography, as a side note. Monique should get the Oscar, hands down. F Meryl Streep on that crap fest Julie & Julia (a book that should have never been movie-ized), this was Monique's year. And to see Lenny Kravitz in all his hotness, not to mention a skeezy Mariah Carey actually redeeming herself post-Glitter? Extra bonus.

    Worst trend? Skinny boys wearing those skinny-arse jeans. EWWW. First they can't keep em up around their arses, now they want to suffocate them and emphasize their bony legs? Yikes.

    I vote for Modern Family and Cougar Town. Even with the bad name, the Courtney Cox show is really really funny in that 'oh god I hate the fact that I know what she is talking about' way.

  • Reply paintnpencil December 20, 2009 at 1:53 am

    I haven't watched a movie for months and months, watching the trailer of Precious, has awoken the feeling of wanting to. I hope to be able to see this one. Thank you so much for sharing this.

  • Reply Impressions Of My Life At The Moment December 20, 2009 at 5:34 am

    I love your blog!

  • Reply Maya December 20, 2009 at 9:42 am

    Great list! I am so relieved to see that someone else noticed that the harempant is horrible and awful in all its existence.

  • Reply Just me.... December 22, 2009 at 12:13 am

    I now start my day with the "Home" video… and feel happy most of the time.

    Really, thank you very much for this.

  • Reply Purple Fairy December 28, 2009 at 9:14 am

    I loved this blog. glee is such an awesome show.

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