I am ridic sick today.
Like, every time I read back the words I wrote they look like dkljpotughfgnjasa.
I can’t even form coherent sentences. I can’t even think of words! It took me roughly 58 seconds to think of the word “coherent”. There is a good chance I’m drooling on myself right now but can’t feel it.
I had to abandon the post I was working on for today. In the meantime, I dug up an old post that I wanted to polish off and revisit. There are some helpful hints in here- ones I should even remind myself.
You have nine followers, and one of them is your mother.
You wonder why the hell you’re even blogging.
You speculate if anyone will ever read your words.
You ponder if life is worth living.
Well look no further!
Listed below are twelve sure-fire ways to drive traffic to your blog and instantly boost your self-worth.
1.) Join Blogging Network Sites– The best blog networking website is Twenty-Something Bloggers. Hands down. Joining 20sb opened up a whole new world for me. Before then, I had no idea how to discover other blogs. 20sb is a supportive and strong community of like-minded bloggers. I can’t recommend it enough. Other blogging networks include Blog Lovin‘, Blog Her, BlogCatalog, and My Blog Log.
2.) Write Interesting Content
– As much as want to go into great detail about your recent trip to the dentist or how you wrapped your Christmas gifts, refrain from it. Truthfully, nobody cares. Unless the dentist had a boner while performing your root canal or you lobbed off your finger while cutting wrapping paper for you gifts…then we might be interested. Humor is a guaranteed way to enter the hearts of millions. Take for example Hyperbole-and-a-Half
. You could learn a lot from her.
3.) Write About A Trend Topic– I don’t adhere to this rule at all, but it’s definitely a way to create buzz on your blog. Commenting on the cultural importance of “Jersey Shore” or how Justin Bieber looks like he should be on the “L Word” is a good way to start a convo.
4.) Befriend Other Bloggers– The blogging community is a tight-knit one. I have met people that I’m convinced sat next to me at the Algonquin Roundtable in another life. These people have encouraged me to grow as a writer and have supported and advertised my work. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them and I try to do the same for them. As The Beatles once said, “The love you take is equal to the love you make”.
5.) Leave Comments– Bloggers love comments like Mickey Rourke loves ghastly printed button-ups. Our self-esteem begins to slowly hinge on how many comments are left on our blog a day. If you comment on our blog, we will love you forever and most likely return the favor.
6.) Brand Yourself- The general consensus on this seems to be “yucky”, but I disagree. The more polished the blog is, the greater the chance a reader will take it more seriously, no? Having a “brand” shows the world that you are legit. Does it take away from the personal aspect of blogging? Sometimes. But this is where you have to get clever in how you brand yourself. Subliminal branding.
7.) Photos!– Photos are a win-win all ’round. Photos grab attention. Photos can often work in substitute of text (Tumblr?). Photos can inspire. I try to put a picture in every single one of my posts, even if it’s not necessary.
Like a picture of my ass.
– We seem to really like lists. They’re easy to read and typically very visual. Remember, the average internet reader’s attention span is like 45 seconds (I made that up). It’s kind of true though. Think of some of your favorite posts on Buzzfeed
Short and sweet lists.
9.) Connect With Your Audience- One of the most talked ideas running through the marketing world these days is Lady Gaga’s rise to fame due in part to her fan interaction and loyalty. DoDo like GaGa. Also, the blogs that appear to have the most comments are blogs where the writer shares a part of him/herself with the readers in the post, then interacts with them via the comment box. Personal is good, but don’t forget rule #2.
10.) Self Promote, But Only 20% Of The Time– Nobody likes a showoff. However, who is going to know about your blog if you don’t say anything? I know some very humble bloggers who haven’t even told anyone that they have a blog! You have to walk a fine line here. Tweet or FB that you have a new post up, but don’t send personal messages to strangers telling them to check out your blog. Nobody likes that. In fact, we’ll purposely not go check out your blog.
11.) Believe That Your Traffic Will Go Up- I know it can get discouraging at times, but don’t give up. People want to hear what you have to say. If you believe that your blog will be successful, it most likely will. Power of suggestion.
12.) Post a Picture of Your Ass
Moving and powerful! You’ve certainly got a way of reaching people that I haven’t seen very often. If most people wrote about this subject with the eloquence that you just did, I’m sure people would do much more than just read they act. Great stuff. Please keep it up.
I've done almost everything but the picture of my ass. Maybe that's the magic key.
This is helpful–I've seen a lot of lists that basically say "promote yourself" about 30 different ways. Thanks for having different advice for once!
Love this. Leaving comments and writing good stuff (beyond "Today for lunch, I ate…) is the key to getting people hooked. Great post.
Great post, I've got to get a picture of my ass asap.
That last one… can I borrow a picture of yours?
I think I need to get an ass pic up ASAP! ; 0
Still great tips!
Haha. If fairness, I think the quality of said tuckus has a lot to do with it too.
This is all great advice, by the by, and just another reminder that I'm probably never going to be a Blogger of Note.
Writing a comment still isn't enough. There are plenty of blogs that I comment on that don't bother to check out my site. And my writing is excellent and hilarious. Ask my mom.
Actually my mom said she hates it. But my mom hates nice things.
Thanks a bunch, Lauren. I learned a lot from following Hipstercrite for a year (since 2010 SXSW) and your linked sites before venturing out myself.
Regarding your advice about pictures and trends, absolutely. I love interweb crap culture and memes so part of my shtick is gimmick images. It was startling to see how quickly my "troll's remorse" variation on the familiar "X? in my Y?" meme appeared on the first page of Google image hits, and along with it the blog.
I'd also suggest adding image captions with keywords and tagging – don't underestimate the value of keywords in image tags, which is easily done via Picasa or any image host. This is also essential for photographers using Flickr or similar sites to help people find your photos.
My blog appeals to a relatively tiny niche hobby so it'll never get much traffic. But it's been fun and I've learned a lot from yours.
I do nothing BUT post pictures of my ass, and it works like a charm. No Austin Blogger Awards for Best Blog About My Ass last year, though…maybe this will be my year.
Thank god I know how to use the timer on my camera…I don't think my arms are long enough to snap my ass.
See… now I'm going to check out Rahul's blog because I thought his comment was hilarious. Good tips, L.
i'm about to try these right now
Damn! That is one FINE arse.
Following your advice I'm leaving you a comment. I've had 34 followers for the last year! My blog is definitely languishing so thanks for all the tips! 35 here I come!!!!
So helpful and great blog btw
thanks for the tips 🙂
thanks for the advice! I love your blog so much!
speaking of self promotion,
CHECK out my BLOG:) http://thelifeofheatherpj.blogspot.com/
This was super helpful and entertaining at the same time! Thanks so much! You're a wonderful writer, keep up the good work!
You are highly entertaining, while still being informative. I think that’s a rare and difficult to achieve balance.
Also, nice picture of your butt.
I should invest in one of those. A butt, I mean. I don’t have much of one for taking a picture to begin with. Hmm… I have a decent upper back. People like upper backs, right?