Critiquing the Shit Out of My Very First Post

My blog used to be really boring.
Hell, it could still be boring, who knows?
Y’all just might be nice folk who don’t have the heart to tell me how much my blog bores the living shit out you.
Just like how I’m convinced that I’m mildly retarded and everyone is just too damn nice to say anything.
It’s ok, you can tell me.

Hipstercrite originally started as PlasticLA back in April of 2006.
It was a place for me to go on and on and blah blah blah about my love for Los Angeles…before the Kool-Aid wore off.

I didn’t take the blog very seriously.

I had about ten visitors a week, and my ten visitors were actually one visitor, my first and longest supporter and good friend in Los Angeles, Chris (Chris, that script you keep telling me that I’ll write one day? That imaginary script will be dedicated to you).

Discouraged by my lack of readers and simultaneously going through a coming-of-age-esque awakening in the city whose Spanish translation means, “The Soul of Satan”, I abandoned PlasticLA in the Land of Forgotten Blogs and didn’t think about her until I moved to Austin, Texas. Writing a blog titled PlasticLA in a city that is the complete antithesis of Los Angeles did not seem correct, so I changed her name to something a little more apropos. Around the spring of 2009, I began taking Hipstercrite more seriously, and since then she has grown into a little fucker that haunts my dreams and dictates my life (Only when I let you, Blog! Only when I let you…)

Below is my very first post on PlasticLA.
I’m going to do a little critiquing. See what the 27 year-old blogger has to say to the 23 year-old rookie blogger who wrote this shit. Notes are in red.

The boringness will completely overwhelm you.


I set this blog up because I have fallen in love… (With another married man?)
I know how Tom Cruise feels. (!???)
When you love something so much you just want to jump up and down on a couch and tell the world! (Ohh….forced current event reference, I see)
Well this is my couch. (It doesn’t look like a couch…it looks like a lame excuse of a blog to me!)
I have fallen in love with Los Angeles. (Ha! Sure you have! Fast foward to two years later and you’re writing the same thing about Austin. You don’t know what you love, my dear)

Yes, it’s true.

I know you East Coasters (which I am as well) are probably wondering, “How the hell???…But it has smog and traffic and crime and no foilage and high gas prices and…” (What East Coasters!? Only one person was reading your blog..and he was from Washington!)

Well folks (WHAT FOLKS?!), let me tell you, I love all of these things (never use the word “things”) about Los Angeles. I love the bad just as much as the good. I don’t care that I will probably die before I’m 30 because of either (Well, I’m getting closer to 30 now, so thanks a lot, turd…):
a.) lung cancer because of air pollution
b.) car accident on the 101
c.) getting stabbed out in front of the 99 cent store
d.) no foilage
e.) high gas prices
f.) a determinental loneliness that only a twenty-something can feel

This is a wonderful city full of culture, the highest homeless rate in the nation, art, music, 9.6 murder rate, film, and obscenely large egos (which are pretty fascinating to see) (“Fascinating” huh? Just wait until your “fascination” turns into”bitterjadedcination”) . There is a vast array of different ethnicities, different types of architecture, and different landscapes.
There is old, new, real, fake, bright, dull, beautiful, ugly and a lot of plastic.

Sniffing in the multi-colored afternoon air I scream, “God, I love this freakin’ city! (HAHAHA!)


Post too short. There is nothing there that captures the reader and make them understand your love for Los Angeles. You need to work on your descriptive wording and humor. You have a long way to go…

Do you ever read your earlier posts? How does it make you feel? Do you see an overall improvement in your writing since then?

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  • Reply todd September 13, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Austin is the antithesis of LA? Er…. I don't think so. This is even less true considering all the Angelenos that have been moving here recently.

    Somehow I see you writing a similar critique of your Austin posts from the "new hot town" in a couple of years. Asheville, NC maybe?

  • Reply Apryl September 13, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    I love that you graded your self. I have re-read some of my old posts and it IS funny to see growth, and even regression, in my own writing. My blog started out as several blubs from several different sources until I collectively pooled them here. Love yours.

  • Reply Hipstercrite September 13, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    @Todd- I thought about that "antithesis" line after I wrote it. I agree with you, but still at the heart, Austin is a VERY different city. The person I was there vs. the person I am now, to me, is proof alone. Is Asheville supposed to be the next hot spot?

    @Apryl- I cringe when I ready my old posts! However, I did not take my blog or writing seriously back then. It is interesting to read though!

  • Reply Randall September 13, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    I read my posts all the time. I've only been at it a little over years, but it's the only way I've managed to keep happenings in my life straight. Serves of a nice reminder of my mindset at certain times.

    But I'm a serial chronicler right now. Everything's journals, and saved letters, and blogs, and post-its. I think wire-tapping laws and the want to not scare off future love interests are the only reason I don't record myself 24/7. And I'm not even sure why… I mean, yes, I have some ego, but I don't think everything I say is worthwhile.

    This was a brilliant idea for a post, by the by.

  • Reply Randall September 13, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    Two. Two years. I've only been at it a little over two years.

    I don't, however, go back and read my comments on other people's blogs. Because those are always embarrassing.

  • Reply Jessica September 13, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    I have some early posts that I am really proud of, but I was in a totally different place (figuratively and literally: I was living in the Czech Republic). I was actually doing something and had somewhat interesting things to say.

    My husband and I have been stuck in a city we loathe for two years now (and will probably be here for another two-three years); there's not much we can do right now to change that. I'm unemployed, bitter and am not doing anything.

    Ok, enough with the pity party. Bottom line: I'm extremely jealous of the person who wrote my early posts. I've stopped reading them because they just make me cry about what I gave up and left behind.

  • Reply theTsaritsa September 13, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    I don't think it's wrong to use the word "things." I also like "stuff." It's all about HOW you use it 🙂

    I'm also enjoying the feminine pronoun you gave to your blog. hehe

  • Reply IT September 13, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    "Do you ever read your earlier posts? How does it make you feel? Do you see an overall improvement in your writing since then?"

    – all the time
    – what was I thinking
    – no, so little of it is original stuff anyway

  • Reply Hipstercrite September 13, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    @Randall- You sound like a very committed writer! Excellent! You should do a post like this too.

    @Jessica- What an interesting realization…not reading earlier posts because it upsets you. Interesting to think about…

    @Tsaritsa- Hahaha! Yes, it's just a personal preference. I like to try and come up with something more specific then the all-encompassing "things".

    @IT- Jeez…you're hard on yourself!

  • Reply Benny September 13, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    Haha, I look back with disdain on recent posts, too. But the older ones make me cringe more.

    I feel like the "mistake" that we make at the beginning of our blogging "careers" is that we don't realize that you can talk about yourself without talking about yourself. We shout "Me! Me!" instead of talking about stuff that makes us unique. I can't put my finger on it. There's a line between those things and it's thin… I, of course, think that you manage that line pretty well these days.

  • Reply Emily September 13, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    My old blog makes me want to die inside.

  • Reply wherethewhimsicalthingsare September 13, 2010 at 10:32 pm

    That's a really good idea to critique your first ever blog post!! Haha it made me laugh!! Unfortunately I'm in that beginning stage now, I'll make a note to do this too in a few years time!!

  • Reply Adria September 13, 2010 at 11:25 pm


    You might have been a little hard on yourself here, otherwise, brilliant!

  • Reply bard September 13, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    I love this entry for so many reasons, I don't even know where to begin.

  • Reply Jess September 13, 2010 at 11:43 pm

    Hahaha…let's just say you've grown immensely as a writer and leave it at that! You have to start somewhere, shit! You should see my weekly column in my high school newspaper…christ.

  • Reply Lauramc September 14, 2010 at 1:06 am

    I often have the sneaking suspicion that I'm mildly retarded and my friends are only so because they're too damn nice. People think I'm joking when I say this…I'm almost completely serious.
    Also, some times I read writing from years ago and am astonished at how frackin' brilliant I was, but most time I look back and think, "What is this crap?"

    I like to think I've come a long way.

  • Reply Billy Apathy September 14, 2010 at 2:21 am

    I think you probably just made your 23 year old self cry somewhere in space and time. This was kind of an insensitive post. You should be more considerate of past you.

    But yeah, that was pretty boring. =P

  • Reply Big Mark 243 September 14, 2010 at 5:55 am

    Gee… when I think of myself at 23, being overwhelmed in a turrible starter marriage, I would have been so envious of your 23 year old, out in El-Ay, making something happen.

    So you are taking in all that is new and different about a place that is new and different. Sensory overload.

    One of the things to remember after you are a a Mom-stercrite and you college age children pick up an float away with the breeze, is to show them this post to prove to them that you said and felt the same things when they find that wonderful place…

    p.s.- Todd is right about Ashville. Been through it a few times and it was okay in the 90's… had only one way to go from there… good campus town too!

  • Reply Ellie September 14, 2010 at 6:54 am

    um, you missed the foilage. And yes, I do go back… and I cringe…

  • Reply NeonRaine September 14, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Hee hee, my blog is still a baby and only has 3 really, really short posts about nothing in particular. I'm still very much finding my (blogging) feet and I'll probably take it a bit more seriously once I get back to university.

    And if I found your blog boring, I wouldn't be sitting here reading it and looking forward to future posts :).

  • Reply kwerk September 14, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Nice, I should go back & find some of my old stuff but I don't know if I want to do that to myself.

  • Reply Hipstercrite September 14, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    @Benny- Interesting point and I think you're right. I think bloggers get better with the more blogs they read- see what works and what doesn't. You should not look onto your recent posts and cringe. You are a great writer. However, being a perfectionist is good too!

    @Emily- That is intense, but I can relate. My old writings are bad, but not even funny or interestingly bad- just bad.

    @Whimsical- Thanks for commenting. I love your blog!

    @Adria- It's true, but I had to be. She sucked. 😉

    @Bard- Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! I want to critique my post about critiquing my post.

    @Jess- Ha! I've read some stuff I wrote in college and I think, "How did they accept me as a screenwriting major?"

    @Laura- Good! I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks that too!

    @Billy- She was a little snot-nosed punk, she deserves a good cry!

    @Mark- Well, your comment brought tears to my eyes…so thanks!

    @Ellie- Ha! Yep! Obviously I couldn't spell either!

    @Neon- Thanks for stopping by!

    @Kwerk- I think it may be therapeutic.

  • Reply Sassy Stylings September 15, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    My one-year blogging anniversary is coming up next week. Maybe I'll celebrate by re-reading my first entries, and find out if they've stood the test of time or are now cringe-worthy.

  • Reply kaelah beauregarde September 15, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    I'm always so embarrassed of my first several months on my blog! I cringe in defeat when I see the failed attempts at engaging a reader and all of the poor grammar! Not to mention I felt like I was blogging simply for the sake of blogging and I really had nothing to say. I'd like to think I've come a long way. That's not to say I couldn't for sure get better (Lord, I hope I do!)

  • Reply Hannah Miet September 19, 2010 at 6:44 am

    You are so amazingly wonderful for doing this.

  • Reply Laura® September 24, 2010 at 2:37 am

    LoL! Just found your blog via Austin Eavesdropper, and this post cracked me up. I don't think I've ever *publicly* critiqued my old blogs, but definitely in my mind I've asked myself "What the hell were you thinking?"

    And then I nuked them all. So all's well that ends well there, I guess.

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