No. 6- A Partially True Story

God, you are beautiful.

“What kind of sandwich do you want?” the bitter, nonplussed Subway Restaurant employee keeps asking me, but I’m not listening. You are at the head of the line and all I’m focusing on is getting you to turn around and look at me.

“Ma’am, what do you want on your sandwich?”

I’m standing in a Subway Restaurant somewhere in the middle of Koreatown, Los Angeles and there you are and here am I and I’m not going to let you walk out of this building without noticing me.

“Oh, I’d like a tuna fish sandwich please. Lettuce and tomatoes, but probably no onions. My co-workers have put a strict ban on onions for me. They also told me that I had to order the tuna salad sandwich because they like the way I say, “salad”, I have a tendency to make my “a’s” exaggerated because I’m from Upstate NY.

Lauren, what are you doing? Stop talking!

“They also make fun of the way I say, “pants“. Paaaants.”

The employee is looking at me like I’m a huge asshole.

“And platter.”

Stop it.

“And squash.”

Oh my God, you are turning around. You are looking at me. You are smiling at me. Your eyes are like pictures of waterfalls I’ve seen in distant countries that I will never visit.

I think I love you.

“I was told I couldn’t eat onions anymore too,” you say to me.

Gwehrjerhtrhgjblah,” I say in return.

Wait, why are you talking to me? You’re too good looking.

“Do you work around here?” you ask.

“No. I mean yes. I mean kind of….?”

“Where do you work?”

“Over there,” and I point to a dilapidated bodega nestled on Wilshire Boulevard. “I mean, down over there. Somewhere over there…” Regain your thoughts. “I mean in Hollywood. I work in Hollywood!” There you go.

“Oh really! Do you work in the film business?”

“Yeah, I work in production. I’m an assistant.”

“That’s so cool. Yeah, I moved here not too long ago to work in the business.”

You hand me your card. I look down at a miniature version of your beautiful face smiling back at me.

Dear Lord, you’re a fucking actor.

I hand you my card.

“Lauren, huh? I’m *Matt, nice to meet you. Let’s grab coffee sometime.”

FGhdsfkjdlfjkgjfklgjfg,” is all I can muster as I walk out the door to amble through the wild streets of Koreatown and make my way back to “over there”.


“What are you doing tonight?” a text flashes across my Cingular 8525.

What am I doing tonight? It’s my 24th birthday and I’m doing absolutely nothing. In fact, I have barely reminded a soul that it is my birthday. Every birthday since I’ve turned 16 has paled in comparison to the excitement that came with every birthday before then, so I just gave up on trying to enjoy them.

That and I’m going through an existential crisis.

“Who is this?” I text back.

“It’s Matt. Want to grab a drink downtown?”

Downtown. My favorite place in Los Angeles. The darkened void on the map of LA. A place forgotten by the working class and inhabited by a small village of drifting hearts.

A man after my own heart.
“Sure I get done at 7:00.” I text back.

“Can you swing by my place? I don’t have a car. :(“

The all encompassing frowny face.

An actor and has no car. I’m only 23, turning 24 and obviously don’t have the life experiences yet to tell me to turn the other way. No amount of jokes about such a species in Los Angeles from seasoned and jaded lady friends will deter me away from you.

To be continued, cause I need to work…

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  • Reply IT June 1, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    "To be continued…"


  • Reply Kate June 1, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    Oh, I'm so excited!

    Screw work! My head might explode if I don't hear the rest of this ASAP.


    Kate x

  • Reply Writing Womb June 1, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    oh dear god, the suspense is eating a hole in my brain..oh no, that's just my ear!
    can't wait to read the rest :o)

  • Reply Charmalade June 1, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    This is the part where I go "tell me more, tell me more!" while inexplicably wearing a 50s style outfit. 🙂

    Toast with Charmalade

  • Reply steff June 1, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    so cruel, yet so clever to leave us hanging.
    i MUST know the rest!!!
    ps – i REFUSE to give into my co-workers pleading for me to stop eating onions with my lunch.
    they may be the epitome of gross to most but i fucking love 'em…

  • Reply Hipstercrite June 1, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    @IT, @Kate, @Writing Womb- oh dear, now the rest of the story has to be really good!

    @Charmalade- Great, now I have that song stuck in my head. Thanks! 😉

    @Steff- I love them too. They add so much character to a sandwich.

  • Reply Colleen June 1, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    "Your eyes are like pictures of waterfalls I've seen in distant countries that I will never visit."

    Brilliant! If I didn't like you, I'd steal it.

  • Reply Chris June 1, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    I'm intrigued. Also, love the picture at the top of the post. It reminds me of 70's Stephen Shore.

  • Reply Hipstercrite June 1, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    @Colleen- I thought that line sounded cheesy! Thanks!

    @Chris- That picture, I did not take, but is located at the intersection where my apartment in Los Angeles is. Koreatown is a magical place.

  • Reply Claire Marie June 1, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    I hate it when things like that happen at Subway… too many choices for my little brain! 😉

    I can't wait to hear the rest!

  • Reply Big Mark 243 June 1, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    This is great stuff and I remember those 'I'm gonna get your attention… give it to me' moments (and showing my age with THAT song lyric!!) in line up from the DMV to Mickey Dee's.

    This morning I was sitting on the bus today and a lady in a pair of chino jeans with blouse… I don't know what it is called, a seam runs around it, but it is popular. It is early, just after dawn and she has caught my eye.

    But I haven't caught hers. It isn't that it is 'too early' because she is engaged enough to talk with the driver and move from her seat when an older rider boards the bus. It is more that she doesn't sense me, FEEL me, and I begin to receed into the background and every rider that boards afterwards passes me by, their motions undisturbed by my existence.

  • Reply Mei June 2, 2010 at 3:33 am

    I don't know, an unemployed actor with no car… Sounds too good to be true!

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