Writing

Mannequin Babies

Mannequin babies like to go to work with Mommy wearing the same exact outfit.
Skippy is giving Mommy problems with his beret. He keeps wanting to take it off.
Mommy doesn’t understand why Skippy keeps taking off the wool beret.
Mommy is wearing the beret so Skippy has to wear it too.
The beret makes you look nice, Skippy!
Don’t take off the damn beret!


This kid is a real pain in the ass, Mommy thinks.
So what if it’s 102 degrees out?
The beret compliments the outfit!
The outfit will not be the same without the beret!
Mommy and Skippy have to match!


Smile for the camera, Skippy!
Look up!
Don’t touch the damn beret or we’re going back inside and we’re changing out of matching outfits.
You want that?
I didn’t think so.
Now smile.
SMILE!


Look in that window, Skippy.
See what happens to mannequin babies that talk back to Mommy?
They get placed in American Apparel windows and forced to wear lamé leggings.
You don’t want your bow tie taken away from you, do you?
DO YOU?

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7 Comments

  • Reply Sessa July 30, 2009 at 1:47 am

    hahahaha, I had the crappiest night at work ever, and I came home and read this and it made me laugh so hard. Thanks for making my night, 🙂

  • Reply Lauren Modery July 30, 2009 at 2:59 am

    Sessa, your comment made my night, so thank you!

  • Reply nicopolitan July 31, 2009 at 12:57 am

    For Chrissakes, Skippy, keep the baret!

    I'm not sure I know exactly what I just read, but I do know I liked it.

  • Reply radiogael July 31, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    hahahahaha, i just laughed so hard that i accidentally spat some tea on my little cousin.

    skippy looked adorable in the beret

  • Reply Monster Girl August 4, 2009 at 4:53 am

    just so you know, I am totally in love with your blog.

  • Reply Andrew Ryz Rydzewski August 6, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    uh-oh… who is skippy's daddy? he's pale… i'm pale…

    this is the type of weirdness i am going to come to expect form you, genius face

  • Reply cool as folk August 11, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    This is the highlight of my day.

  • Leave a Reply to Monster Girl Cancel Reply