Mannequin Babies

Mannequin babies like to go to work with Mommy wearing the same exact outfit.
Skippy is giving Mommy problems with his beret. He keeps wanting to take it off.
Mommy doesn’t understand why Skippy keeps taking off the wool beret.
Mommy is wearing the beret so Skippy has to wear it too.
The beret makes you look nice, Skippy!
Don’t take off the damn beret!

This kid is a real pain in the ass, Mommy thinks.
So what if it’s 102 degrees out?
The beret compliments the outfit!
The outfit will not be the same without the beret!
Mommy and Skippy have to match!

Smile for the camera, Skippy!
Look up!
Don’t touch the damn beret or we’re going back inside and we’re changing out of matching outfits.
You want that?
I didn’t think so.
Now smile.

Look in that window, Skippy.
See what happens to mannequin babies that talk back to Mommy?
They get placed in American Apparel windows and forced to wear lamé leggings.
You don’t want your bow tie taken away from you, do you?

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  • Reply lineandree May 6, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Hehehehe soo cute 🙂 Also, I'm from Denmark and I'm defintely jealous of the lovely weather you seem to be having across the pond. No fair, I want warmth! 😛


  • Reply Angie May 6, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    hahaha awesome. I want the suspenders…

  • Reply Austin Eavesdropper May 6, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    LOL – this random weirdness is exactly why I check in with Hipstercrite, every single day. 🙂 Please tell me you still have Mannequin Baby.

  • Reply Sophie Neutron May 6, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    awww so cute…you and your mannequin baby look so happy.
    No kid likes to wear hats, not even mannequin ones I see. Don't they realize it makes them look even cuter?

    I want the second outfit…possibly your entire wardrobe.

  • Reply Jessica May 6, 2010 at 5:13 pm


  • Reply Peter's Poison May 6, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    bangin' outfit. and mannequin babies don't shit. this makes you a real innovator.

  • Reply Colleen May 6, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    How can you let that mannequin child walk around without shoes? No wonder Skippy is inclined to rebel.

  • Reply The Naked Writer May 6, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    The Babies

  • Reply JP May 6, 2010 at 6:19 pm

    Am I wrong to point out that women can have their own babies and don't have to resort to mannequins?

  • Reply Lindsey May 6, 2010 at 6:20 pm

    haha! This just made me laugh for ten minutes straight. In Albuquerque i was at a thrift store once and they had a whole mannequin family for sale. You could expand….lol

  • Reply Krystal May 6, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    i'm speechless!

  • Reply Juliette May 6, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    lol-ing at your strange infatuation with faceless mannequin babies.

    -Juliette WhereForArtThouRomeo

  • Reply Grant May 6, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    I want to see more mannequin baby photoshoots.

  • Reply Benny May 6, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    Who needs human babies when we have mannequin babies?

  • Reply Heidi May 6, 2010 at 11:30 pm

    Believe it or not I actually have a friend who has a mannequin baby. She doesn't dress it up though, it lies butt-naked on the floor gazing out the window (if gazing is indeed what mannequins do).

    Kind of creeps me out to tell the truth…

  • Reply Mariah May 7, 2010 at 12:52 am

    Oh god this is funny! lol. I love your blog!

  • Reply Garry with 2 Rs May 7, 2010 at 2:47 am

    Lauren, you are a complete nutcase. I love it.

  • Reply EMQ May 7, 2010 at 3:32 am

    So you're the one who dressed that baby in the gold lame leggings! Would it be wrong of me to admit that I actually considered buying them for my daughter when I saw them on that mannequin baby in the window?

  • Reply bard May 7, 2010 at 4:03 am

    It's an "early reader" book for twisted adults!

  • Reply Jill May 7, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    Keep that mannequin delinquent off our streets! Pleaseandthankyou.

  • Reply dogimo May 10, 2010 at 2:09 am

    Creepy and disturbing!

    Is this a real phenomenon?

    If not, a brilliant piece of "outsider" performance art / social critique!

  • Reply Anastasia May 19, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    well that's not creepy. at all.

  • Reply zachary May 20, 2010 at 10:39 am


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