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Austin, Film, Pop Culture

Hey, Rick Moranis! Will You Come to Our Party?

Dear Rick Moranis,

We are throwing a party in your honor on April 27th at Wright Bros. Brew & Brew in Austin, Texas, and you are cordially invited.

I can’t afford your airfare or a hotel room, but you’re welcome to crash at our place. We have a spare bedroom with a weight machine! I can make you bowls of cereal that you can eat while you work out on our weight machine. I don’t know how to make pancakes. Sorry.

I should probably tell you what the party is about. We are screening your classic film, Strange Brew, and as the host, I’ll be discussing your filmography with the crowd. You know what would make this screening way better? You! And shrimp, but I don’t think I have the budget for that.

You are very much loved here down in Austin, Texas. And not ironically either; there are many young people who grew up with you and relate to your various nerds such as Louis Tully and Seymour Krelborn. We also relate to Bob McKenzie; Texans are kind of like Canadians. We drink a lot (more…)

Hipstercrite Life

A Story About Drinking

I rarely drink anymore.

Because of that, this post is spawned from the fact that I spent most of yesterday morning barfing up the Janis Joplin– hemp seed veggie patty, Tillamook cheese and avocado- at Austin’s beloved burger spot, Hopdoddy. I had three drinks of tequila and my body was all like, “WTF is this stingy crap going through my veins?” and decided to violently discard whatever it could find resting in my body which was mostly seeds and nuts. Lemme tell you, seeds and nuts feeling like freakin’ barbed wire travelling up your windpipe at the speed of sound. Between the liquor and the texture of the nuts, it feels like someone taking a Brillo Pad and going, “Scrape, scrape, scrape! Wee, wee, wee!”

When you get out of the habit of drinking, things like instant naptime or ralphing are common.

I never was a big drinker to begin with.

Considering I come from a family of non-drinkers that have the ability to drink two sips of wine and then laugh for five minutes while they (more…)