Film, Music, Pop Culture

R. Kelly Aims To Wow Your Panties Off With New Installment of Trapped in the Closet


I’ve been waiting for this news my entire life.

The next installment of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet” will premiere on IFC next year.

If you’ve never seen the first 22 chapters of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet”, I feel sorry for you. You’ve lived a sad and sheltered life.

“Trapped in the Closet” follows the dramatic tale of Sylvester (R. Kelly/narrator), Gwendolyn (Sylvester’s wife), Cathy (a lady Sylvester cheated with), Rufus (Cathy’s pastor husband), Chuck (Rufus’ lover), Big Man (a midget), Bridget (Big Man’s Southern wife) and Pimp Lucious (R.Kelly again) as they all cheat on, love on and point guns on each other. The characters are voiced by R.Kelly in a NEVER-ENDING, MIND-NUMBING CYCLE OF THE SAME SONG FOR 90 MINUTES STRAIGHT.

“Trapped in the Closet” falls under the cult classics that are so unbelievably f’ing terrible that they come across as brilliant. Believe me, after you watch “Trapped in the Closet”, R. Kelly will become your creative role model.

You can watch chapters of “Trapped in the Closet” on Youtube, but I recommend buying the DVD so R. Kelly can have the funds to continue making the most delicious cheese on the planet.

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  • Reply IT March 22, 2012 at 12:21 am

    I was gonna ask you somethin’

    Then I thought, hecka no, she did it on purpose because it’s there three times

    • Reply hipstercrite March 22, 2012 at 12:24 am

      Nope, I absolutely spelled it wrong. Thanks for noticing.

  • Reply Mademoiselle HauteMess March 22, 2012 at 3:28 am

    OMG – YES! Do we really have to wait until 2013? …and do you think he will find himself in the closet again?

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