It’s that time of year. That time where we Texans contemplate if we miss summer or not. 108 degrees or 40 degrees- which would you take?
Yes, Winter is finally here and I am completely not prepared.
I grew up in a town that has 8 month Winters and because of that and moved far, far away, as quickly as I could. Because of this, I pretend that Winter no longer exists.
Every Winter I think I can get away without a heavy jacket and gloves and every Winter I suffer. Greatly. Or rather the people around me do. They have to listen to my teeth chattering and my exaggerated pleas for survival.
But, this year I’m going to be smart. This week is the first butt-ass cold week of the year and I’m already getting my Winter checklist ready. A checklist that doesn’t involve sweatpants. You know, the one where you can still look stylish and not like a bundled up Ralphie from A Christmas Story.
Check it below.
What are your winter staples?
Sheer Circle Scarf– This is quite possibly the best invention EVER by American Apparel. When I first saw the circle scarf, I was angry. To me it looked like a giant sheet of fabric, which is exactly what it is. However, when you put on the circle scarf, you instantly transform into a sexy European studying abroad in America. I’m not a fan of the heavy cotton circle scarf by American Apparel, but I more than dig their sheer circle scarf. So much so that my boyfriend often makes me chose between it or him. The beauty of the sheer circle scarf is that you can also wear it in the blazin’ hot summer- it’s light and acts as a nice shawl once inside and dealing with over-zealous air conditioning. It’s also a striking addition to a very boring outfit (see below). Look. Don’t I strike you? They currently have a butt load of new colors in including See Thru Mermaid Green and See Thru Creme.
Ponchos– Ponchos are the hit article of clothing this year. Something my mother replied with, “Uh, when will fashion become original again?” I f’ing love ponchos because I’m feeling super fat lately. These are a great way to disguise your fat by making you look obscenely fat which something people know is not true. Check out that picture below. I look like a parade float that had gone rogue. People know this is not true, but it completely distracts from the tiny muffin top growing within. Dear God, I love ponchos. I get a lot of compliments on this poncho. You want to know where I got it? JC Penny for $15. How about that for 1989, mother f’ers.
Atypical Hats– Winter is hat season, but why not be adventurous and wear something better than a knit cap? I love wearing hats and this time of year is my excuse to be flamboyant about it. Between my boyfriend and I we have a library of cowboy hats, top hats, captain’s hats, fur trapper hats and the list goes on and on. You can be wearing jeans and t-shirt but with a weird-ass hat and confidence, everyone thinks you’re the King or Queen of Awesomeness.
Sweater Coats– I rarely buy brand new items for full-price. One time I broke that rule and bought a $150 sweater coat from Free People and it was one of the best life choices I ever made. That baby has hung in there for years and kept me warm when I thought I was ok. Sweater coats are cool because they can act as both a sweater and a coat. How do like them apples?
Leggings– The best leggings I’ve found are from Alternative Apparel. They’re very slimming and don’t give you dumpy knees (where the fabric at the knees gets loose and makes you look like your knees took a dump). They’re also the leggings that create the least amount of cameltoe. They’re a little pricey at $34, but well worth it. I’ve worn mine almost every day for two years because I’m gross and lazy.
“I f’ing love ponchos because I’m feeling super fat lately. These are a great way to disguise your fat by making you look obscenely fat which something people know is not true.” That quote was the highlight of my day. You are wonderful.
love your post! “atypical hats” is a good idea 🙂
Thanks, Mr. Jeffrey!
What about us poor souls who live up in the midwest? I’d die outside in a poncho right now. 🙁
Maybe put three layers on under the poncho?
I am the proud owner of about a million pairs of black leggings and 2 capes – one short gray double breasted one with a belt and one long camel-colored one with a leopard print wrap trim. With big sunglasses, I swear I am a shorter Mexican version of Adele….. or so I like to think. Yay for fashionable winter clothes!!
I need a cape! When I was little my family owned a women’s clothing store. I used to go on buying trips with them. One time I saw a winter cape for a bride having a winter wedding. I thought it was the most amazing thing I ever saw!