Moms are awesome!
Want to know why?
Because they send you an Easter day care package four weeks later with stuff like this in it:
A 2001 Engagement calendar.
Me: “Mom, why did you send me a calendar from ten years ago?”
Mom: “Because it’s a very special year. The year you graduated high school.”
Me: “I know, Ma. But what am I going to do with this?”
Mom: “It’s pretty.”
The script to the very questionable female rendition of 12 Angry Men we interpreted in high school. The play where I was offered the role of Juror #4 or as I like to call it- The Character With the Second to Least Amount of Lines Because I Can’t Act My Way Out of a Paper Bag.
A CD booklet to a Stevie Nicks box set I no longer have.
Just the booklet. No CDs.
As I flipped through the pages scratching my head as to why my mother sent me liner notes, I became more and more intrigued by the lyrics and pictures and decided that this was the best thing she put in the box.
An audio tape of David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty One Day. I’m not sure the last time I’ve seen a tape player. I also know that I have three copies of this book. Maybe I can make the tapes into coasters.
A novella adaptation of the movie The Jerk. I didn’t even know that I had this or that something like this existed. I’m not sure why it exists.
Smushed Easter candy that’s been crammed into a box full of odds and ends from my most awkward years of living because my mother no longer wants this shit sitting around her house but she knows that if she tries to sell it in a garage sale that her daughter will be super pissed and not let her live it down for a very long time.