Hipstercrite Life

Your Life in a Box Full of Smushed Candy

Moms are awesome!
Want to know why?
Because they send you an Easter day care package four weeks later with stuff like this in it:

A 2001 Engagement calendar.
Me: “Mom, why did you send me a calendar from ten years ago?”
Mom: “Because it’s a very special year. The year you graduated high school.”
Me: “I know, Ma. But what am I going to do with this?”
Mom: “It’s pretty.”

And this:

The script to the very questionable female rendition of 12 Angry Men we interpreted in high school. The play where I was offered the role of Juror #4 or as I like to call it- The Character With the Second to Least Amount of Lines Because I Can’t Act My Way Out of a Paper Bag.

And this:

A CD booklet to a Stevie Nicks box set I no longer have.
Just the booklet. No CDs.
As I flipped through the pages scratching my head as to why my mother sent me liner notes, I became more and more intrigued by the lyrics and pictures and decided that this was the best thing she put in the box.

And this:

An audio tape of David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty One Day. I’m not sure the last time I’ve seen a tape player. I also know that I have three copies of this book. Maybe I can make the tapes into coasters.

And this:

A novella adaptation of the movie The Jerk. I didn’t even know that I had this or that something like this existed. I’m not sure why it exists.

And this:

Smushed Easter candy that’s been crammed into a box full of odds and ends from my most awkward years of living because my mother no longer wants this shit sitting around her house but she knows that if she tries to sell it in a garage sale that her daughter will be super pissed and not let her live it down for a very long time.


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  • Reply Ally May 27, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    yo, your mom is awesome. i want an easter care package, er, or any care package! and easter candy rocks, smushed or not!


  • Reply Jordan K Rose May 27, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    My mom gave me my old scrap books and the flat orange ceramic bunny I made for her. Itucked the scrapbooks away after reviewing some of the worst artwork in existence. Then I tossed that stupid looking rabbit. Orange? Why would I give my mother an orange rabbit? Third grade- before I knew she hates the color orange! Happy mothers day! 🙂

  • Reply Not who I will be May 27, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    That's an awesome package! I used to love sending care packages. If my mom ever sent me anything, I doubt it would have as much thought or sentimentality as any of that. I want a care package now 🙁

  • Reply Hipstercrite May 27, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    @Ally- My Mom is awesome. I adore her. She is so thoughtful of me. Easter candy is my favorite candy! Even better than Halloween.

    @Jordan- As much as I don't need some of this stuff, I will have difficult throwing it away. Sadly, I probably won't. I made bad artwork for my Mom. The Lucifer and Silence of the Lambs artwork she made me give to my Dad.

    @Not- My Mom is awesome. I'm lucky to have her. Care packages do indeed rock. Want me to send you something?

  • Reply Guise Faux May 27, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    LOL moms. Mine usually sends me Pez dispensers. This Easter she sent me a fancy decorated chocolate bunny. At least that's what the box promised. When I opened it last night *somebody* had already bitten off the ears.

    In my best Captain Kirk voice I bellowed "MOMMMM!"

  • Reply Brooke Farmer May 27, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    This is actually an awesome Easter gift. And there's a novella of The Jerk?!?! Odd. Love the movie, not sure I'd put it on my list of things to read though.

  • Reply Scott Tammaro May 27, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    HA! I loved reading this. It reminded me of when I was a "non-traditional" college student who did his student job work in the Art. Dept's office.

    My family would send me care packages full of
    homemade cookies & food in these giant egg boxes.

    After they learned what was inside of these boxes, my younger co-workers always pleaded with me to open them up instantly.

    The food, of course, was delicious but the real treat was counting how many times I received yet another contact lens case or traveling toothbrush container.

  • Reply Anthony Strand May 27, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    Every movie used to get novelized back in the 70s, it seems like. The idea was that they allowed people to relive their favorite movies, I guess. Since they couldn't just go out and buy the video in a few months.

    Are you planning to read The Jerk novelization? More importantly, would you if Steve Martin had written it himself?

  • Reply Simone May 30, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    Awwww, I love it when heart felt gifts from my Mom coincides with the weekends she decides to clean out the basement.

  • Reply rommelfernandes June 2, 2011 at 11:26 am

    I totally agree that moms are awesome.
    Goa honeymoon

  • Reply Pez Dispenser Easter Characters Box December 3, 2011 at 6:33 am

    […] Your Life in a Box Full of Smushed Candy LOL moms. Mine usually sends me Pez dispensers. This Easter she sent me a fancy decorated chocolate bunny. At least that's what the box promised. When I opened it last night *somebody* had already bitten off the ears. […]

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