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yard trimmer vigilante

Austin, Hipstercrite Life

I Will Trim Your Trees at Night

 

Once in awhile, when darkness falls, I will sling my trusty hedge trimmers over my shoulder and march up and down my street looking for neighbors whose brush encroaches on the sidewalk. I will snip, snip, snip as fast as I can and scurry off to the next offender.

Before you think I’m that one weird-ass neighbor every has, let me explain.

A handful of my neighbors do not regard their lawn as something that deserves care or maintenance. Fine and dandy. It’s their property to do what they see fit. However, when their overgrowth overtakes the sidewalk, it’s a slap in the face of all neighbors. When elderly people and children are forced to walk in the street, it’s downright villainous. VILLAINOUS, I SAY!

But day after day, no neighbor comes forward to speak to the offenders and the growth continues to expand.

Except for me.

I’m coming forward, mother f’ers.

I realized that in order to take care of business, there were a couple avenues I could pursue:
1.) I knock (more…)