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life

Writing

When Death Happens, Nature Welcomes You.

Since my grandmother’s death, I’ve found myself wanting to immerse myself in nature for many reasons.

First, I want to escape my daily routine — to get out of my head, which has become a very manic place— and second, because I want to be surrounded by life. To hear the conversations amongst birds and prairies dogs. To watch the deer, and the bighorn sheep, and the elk scavenge for food, mate or relish the sun. To see the leaves turn from a morbid brown to a thunderous green. To watch the Western flowers burst from beds of dirt and parched grass.

This want has brought me all over the valleys and peaks of Colorado as of late, with trips to Rocky Mountain National Park, the Flatirons of Boulder, the mesas of Golden and the red rocks of Colorado Springs.

Leading up to now, my view had mostly been of hospital walls. My grandmother — my dear, beautiful second mother — had been ailing back home in Upstate New York, and I wanted to see her as much as I could. A broken hip in August (more…)

Hipstercrite Life

To the Woman at the Diner, I Saw You

diner

I saw you walk into the diner with your husband.

Your back tired from years of living; your face pointed to the ground.

I saw you walk into the diner and I thought to myself I don’t want to get old.

I don’t want to sit across from my love and sit in silence because I cannot hear, I cannot see.

I saw the cataracts floating in your quiet eyes.

I saw your knuckles rising like mountains through the terrain of your hands.

I saw the permanent scowl you never asked for.

I daydreamed about your life, your marriage, about the emptiness you might feel right now.

I watched you from over my love’s shoulder, sitting in silence, staring at the table, lost in your own thoughts.

I also watched as you picked up your straw and blew the wrapper into your husband’s face.

And I watched as you clapped your hands and laughed until tears formed in your no longer quiet eyes.

Hipstercrite Life

A year in review

I used to write a lot about personal stuff on my blog, but I kind of shied away from it over the years. Hipstercrite started as a sort of journal for me, a place for me to chronicle my adventures moving from Los Angeles to Austin and post passive-aggressive notes to former boyfriends, but it’s slowly become a depository for my commentary on society and pop culture. I still write the occasional personal piece, but my reality has become much more boring. My life is normal and happy- all the things I hoped for when I was the angsty twenty-something who started this blog. Reality also comes with sadness; life deals you some tough blows as you age, and I guess I decided that Hipstercrite was going to become a strictly fun place. With that being said, I thought I’d write a post about my year, which entailed some ups and downs- as most years do.

-Some of you may remember Lionel, my grandma’s partner of many years. Last I wrote about him, he had Alzheimer’s and was living in a care facility. (more…)