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Hipstercrite Life

My Mom Blog

Mom blogs seem to be all the trend. I’m not sure why.
Don’t people relate better to self-involved twenty-something blogs? I mean reading long-winded soliloquies about ex-boyfriends and designer shoes is something we all enjoy, right?

Whether it be Dooce or The Bloggess or the ten million other popular Mom blogs, exploiting your offspring seems to be where it’s at.

Well, I never told you guys, but I have a daughter. Her name is Luanne and I gave birth to her yesterday. She’s a fantastic child. When she exited the womb she could already talk. Her first word was, “Jesus!”, but I don’t think it was in a “I love Jesus!” kind of way, but more like a, “What the fuck just happened?!” kind of way. We’ll need to teach her not to take the Lord’s name in vain.

Isn’t she a cutie patootie?

I gotta tell you though, Luanne was born hairy as shit. In my drug-induced daze I can even recall the nurses putting their hands up to their mouths and pointing. I have a feeling that the sperm bank lied (more…)