Traveling back to my childhood home is always difficult for me because it reminds me of how far away from my hoodI am. This bittersweet nostalgia always propels me to search the cellar for spoiled dessert wine my mother bought on a wine tasting trip ten years ago and get loaded. Or as loaded as one can get on spoiled dessert wine. It’s like instant hangover.
About halfway through my visit home, I typically sludge up any number of childhood relics from the closet and begin playing with them, much like I did as a lonely, lonely only child.
I will pull out my old Mall Madness board game and drunkenly sing the Ghostbusters theme while weeping; my mother will run from the couch to see if I’m OK, only to find me sprawled on my bedroom floor, clutching my Alf doll in the fetal position. She’ll roll her eyes and I’ll scream back, “I MISS MY CHILDHOOD, CAN’T YOU SEE?” and then I’ll stare at the starry night of my glow stickers on the ceiling and pass out.
There is something special about (more…)
Ever since I was a little girl, I loved nerds.
The thicker the glasses they wore, the better. Even more attractive than coke bottles was social awkwardness. At eight years of age I loved my men weird and near-sighted.
When most of my peers were carrying notebooks featuring the profiles of NKOTB, I was doodling the name, “Mrs. Emmett Brown” over and over in my notebook. A few years later, I would lay my plastic figurine of Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcolm on my pillow and whisper made-up paleontology talk in his dog-nibbled ear. At sixteen I would catch myself losing complete control of my bladder while watching David Byrne dance in the concert documentary Stop Making Sense. Every time he would flail his arms around or choreographically trip, I’d seal clap in delight.
Even now, my boyfriend is what I describe as a “nerdy cowboy.” Social discomfort is not something he suffers from, but what he lacks in awkwardness he makes up for in his math degree and his desire to move to space. (more…)
The other day I came across a post on the ever-so-clever Flavorwire imagining what our favorite 80’s teen characters are doing these days. I wish I thought of the post first, but I didn’t, so the best I can do is copy it pay homage to it.
When I was a little girl, I sat alone thinking by myself a lot because a.) I was an only child and b.) I lived on a street filled with blue-haired folk. Because of this, I fantasized a lot about my favorite movie characters. Specifically Dennis Quaid’s character in InnerSpace (not sure why considering he was about 1 millimeter tall) and Indiana Jones. Oh, and Doc Brown. I used to imagine what sort of future we’d all have together as one big happy polyamorous family. But those days are long gone. We know what happened to Indiana Jones. He got old and made a SHITTY MOVIE ABOUT ALIENS AND CRYSTALS.
This doesn’t mean I haven’t been left curious about some of my favorite 80’s characters from time to time (and neither has Hollywood since they’re probably (more…)