Writing

Pop Goes The Reality Bubble

Producer’s assistant on movie set- 21 years-old, happy and carefree

Staying on theme with last Friday’s post about twenty-somethings.

When I was a little girl, I always knew I wanted to work in the film business. When the opportunity surprisingly presented itself at 20 years of age, I jumped at the chance.

I was in my junior year at Ithaca College when I applied and was admitted to the communication school’s LA satellite program. My father and I drove from New York to California with what I could fit in my ’97 white Ford Taurus. Once settled in LA, my first task was to find an internship. I sifted through the database of internships given to us, but none of them appealed to me. I decided I would cold call companies where I knew I wanted to work (George Clooney and Steven Soderberg’s Section 8, Ben Stiller’s Red Hour, Drew Barrymore’s Flower Pictures), but there was one actor in particular I was itching to work for. I called his office and asked if they needed an intern. They said not really (more…)

October 26, 2010 by
Writing

I’m Just An Animal Looking For A Home (Or The Plight of the Twenty-Something)

 

I am your typical non-committal and nonplussed twenty-something they’ve been devoting so much attention to in the press lately.

The Millennials who just can’t get their shit together.

The person with debt. The person who rents. The person who has short-lasting relationships. The person who woke up one morning and realized that the career she is in, the career she went to college for, the field she is supposed to love and stick with for the rest of her life, just doesn’t mean anything to her anymore. The person who dreams big but paralyzed about the amount of options. The person who is afraid to commit to a person or a job out of fear of what else she is missing. The person who lives a lifestyle where she can pack up and go at any minute if she’s feeling too constricted.

But constricted by what?

Having so much press devoted to our generation helps us to realize we are not alone in our constant state of wonder and confusion. However, how disappointing is it to read that our generation- (more…)

October 22, 2010 by
Writing

Nicolas Cage’s Chest Hair May Be A Better Actor Than He

Returning to B-List Actor Thursday (though technically the actor below is A-list…Lord knows why)

Nicolas Cage is a bad actor.
There is no way around that.
Or as one friend puts it, “Nicolas Cage is the idiot savant of acting”.

Sometimes it’s painful to watch Nicolas Cage.
Sometimes you feel uncomfortable for him. Embarrassed. Angry. Horny.

Sometimes you find yourself pant-less staring at pictures of Nicolas Cage with no shirt on and bad hair plugs and….

Nicolas Cage is such a bad actor that when I tried discussing this fact with my father, he felt that Nicolas Cage is bad enough not to warrant a discussion about how bad he is.

“But hear me out, Pop. Nicolas Cage is so bad that he’s good. When he plays serious roles, he can’t do it. But when he plays over-the-top characters- he’s f’ing James Dean or Brando! You following me?”

“Sure,” my father said in the same tone he indulged me in as a child when I talked incessantly in the same manner about Paul Reubens and Crispin Glover.

Let’s think about (more…)

October 21, 2010 by
Writing

Halloween Costume Ideas for Girls With Penis Envy

For whatever reason, when I dress up- for Halloween or not-Halloween- I like to either go as 1.) a man or 2.) a woman who dresses like a man or 3.) a crazy old woman. Dressing as someone from my own gender or my own generation just doesn’t seem like an option.

I’ve been this way ever since I was a little girl. I’m not sure what it means, but I have a feeling Freud would have a few theories on it.

So, if you’re one of those girls who likes donning a mustache and tie from time-to-time, here are some Halloween ideas to fill that itch.

This year I will be going as two of these costumes combined- Frida Mercury.

For a lot of these outfits, I would tell you to start by looking at the thrift store, but for purposes of the blog, I will share online purchases I have found.

1.) Pee-Wee Herman– The key to dressing like Pee-Wee is getting a suit one size too small. This can be very challenging as it’s often difficult for women to find a men’s two piece gray suit that is too small for her. 
Believe me, (more…)
October 19, 2010 by
Writing

My Favorite Movies and TV Shows As Explained by Tattoos

While researching for an essay about my extreme attraction to Gene Wilder as Dr. Frederick Frankenstein in Young Frankenstein, I came across tremendous tattoos of him in various poses of yelling and screaming. This got me Googling tattoos of other films and characters that I adore and I was struck at the extreme dedication of some fans and the impressive talent of so many tattoo artists.

Below are my favorite movies and TV shows as seen by tattoos. Unfortunately, I had to edit my list since 1.) I could not find any tattoos of the movie Secretary or of James Spader. When Googling, “Secretary Tattoo”, one ends up with a page full of aesthetically questionable women in secretary outfits licking a man’s swollen…and 2.) Surprisingly could not find any Spinal Tap tattoos except for a pretty lame Shark Sandwich one and 3.) Also could not find any Kids in the Hall, Newsradio, or Six Feet Under tattoos.

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure– When I was a little girl, I used to put on white patent leather platforms (more…)

October 18, 2010 by
Writing

Let’s Play Dress Up!

I grew up in a family business centered around women’s apparel.
This does a lot to f you up.
You have mini moms and mini grandmas forever hovering over your shoulder every morning as you get ready for the day.
“Brush that hair!”
“Fix your lapel!”
“You’re slowly disgracing the family name by wearing those holey socks! Do you want to kill the family name, Lauren?! DO YOU?!”
I do not like fashion.
I will never pretend that I know anything about fashion designers, fashion blogs, or America’s Next Model Top Runway Style Show.
However, I do like dressing up.
Suspenders, ties, hats, mustaches, scarves, skirts, pantyhose, you name it.
In the want to streamline my blog a bit more, I will be doing a weekly “dress up” post. This will be my version of a fashion post but without the vacant stares, sour pusses, pigeon toes, and scoliosis legs.
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Like any good hipstercrite, I wear a lot of American Apparel and make fun of people who wear it.

However, all joking (more…)
October 15, 2010 by
Writing

Sailor

Occasionally when I’m feeling uninspired, I will peruse my drafted posts to see if there is anything worthwhile that I had abandoned. Sometimes, by giving the subject matter time, I end up writing my favorite pieces by doing this.

Sometimes they were left for dead for a reason.

I found this short essay dated back to June of this year. I didn’t post it simply because I didn’t view it as worth sharing. It was a throwaway. Reminiscent of a schoolgirl diary entry that didn’t hold much value.

However, for some reason, I just couldn’t delete it.

Unfortunately, the specifics of the essay mean less to me now than the greater point I was trying to make: Attempting to capture an emotion that you are trying to forget.

__________________________
Sailor

When is it that you have realized you’ve moved on?

Is it when you run into that person and saying hello holds the same indifference towards an acquaintance on the street?
Or is it when you meet someone new who reminds you what it should feel like?
Maybe it’s (more…)

October 14, 2010 by
Writing

David Lynch and The Cow

Last night I attended a screening of David Lynch’s 1990 film, Wild at Heart, with the author of the book, Barry Gifford, in attendance. Being a devoted Lynch fan, I typically tell people it’s my favorite film of his. The over-the-top performances, the brightness, the landscape- I appreciated more than any other Lynch film. However, after a many a year gap in between the last time I saw it, I was slightly disappointed this time around. Though the performances and aesthetic still work for me, many other aspects of the film- more specifically the sound design and dialogue- didn’t. In fact, thought I love the setting, it’s the story that really doesn’t jibe with me, and that maybe explains why I’ve never been able to finish the book. For such shining characters, their story was often dull.
Nonetheless, watching Nic Cage in his snakeskin jacket and Laura Dern in her skin tight velour bodysuit cruise down the open road in a convertible with Chris Isaak as their soundtrack, I was reminded of how (more…)
October 13, 2010 by
Writing

Dating, Technology, and You

You’ve been in a threesome before.

It wasn’t that time in high school you got drunk of off 40s with a waitress from Crackle Barrel and her boyfriend out behind the 7-Eleven. Or that night at the bar you mistook two middle-aged men from Bulgaria as two thirds of the Jonas Brothers.

The threesome I’m talking about is you, your partner, and technology.

The gigantic fat and smelly 1200 pound gorilla flingin’ his poop across the room.

It is impossible in this day and age to not have technology and social media dictate at least some fraction of young peoples’ romantic and sexual relationships. Every day we are reminded of the role it plays in our lives. From the positive- Twitter flirting, the changing of the Facebook relationship status, iPhone app or Google map wedding proposals, to the negative- flame wars, stalking, kids killing themselves over leaked sexting or videos.

For bad or for good, technology is here to stay, so it’s probably best that we learn how to offer it a beverage, stroke its hair, (more…)

October 12, 2010 by
Writing

Marfa in Texas

Ever since I discovered Marfa, Texas almost two years ago, I’d been dying to visit it. About once a month I’d get an itch to finally go, make an announcement to everyone that I’m going, am reminded that it’s an eight hour trek from Austin to Marfa, still announce that I’m going, wake up the next morning thinking about driving in a car for eight hours only to drive back the next day for another eight hours, and go back to sleep.

Finally after two years of this repetitive behavior, I finally made it to my beloved Marfa.

It was everything I hoped for and more.

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If you live in Austin, Texas, you know what Marfa is. It’s kind of like the Palm Springs to Los Angeles or the Coney Island to New York City.

Actually it’s none of those places at all.

If you live outside of Texas, you may have heard of Marfa because of the famous films shot there, Prada Marfa, The Chinati Foundation, The Marfa Film Festival, or The Marfa Mystery Lights.

Maybe you’ve never heard of (more…)

October 11, 2010 by