And when I do, it’s not the city I physically experienced, but rather the romanticized one I pieced together through years of watching movies, TV shows, and listening to music about the beautiful, yet fragile place where the sun always shines.
You unpredictably come to mind when I hear a song- a song I never even heard while I was with you- but for some reason reminds me of our imaginary time together. They’re songs full of minor chord viscera. Synthesizers and beats I danced to on the beach, in Hollywood, and in my car before I was ever born.
It brings me to my knees. Every absolute and artificial memory intertwines into a billow of what I no longer know is certain. I take on the emotions of character’s lives I never lived. I experience flashbacks of times I never endured.
I always thought that the day I stopped thinking about Los Angeles would be a sad day.
That my heart would never be broken.
However, with each mile that I drove further away from you, I became the person I was supposed to be.
I miss you, Los Angeles. I miss my idea of you. Our relationship is now much better since I returned to being the longer of something that is not real.
Are you homesick for a place that doesn’t exist? Do you romanticize periods of time in your life?