I’m an only child of divorce. That’s like, two strikes against me right there (my third, fourth, and fifth strike being I’m female, Jewish, and Gemini as well). Marriage and having kids has never been an ambition of mine. I mean, I’m not against the idea. I’ve always displayed mild interest in the concept. Maybe one day I’ll live in a turn-of-the century cottage in a mid-size city in a good school district with my graphic designer husband and two children named Juniper and Hugo OR maybe, just maybe, I’ll live in a glass house over-looking a jumbo-size city watching all the people down below, afraid to touch them, afraid of anything that would make me normal and my only friend is my butler who carries me to bed every evening after get annihilated on sherry and anise liqueur.
Something Happened on My 26th Birthday…
You never know what life brings you.
Lately something has been happening though. I’m not so indifferent to the idea. In fact, I’ve been staring at small children with the same wide-eyed wonderment that they give me. Cue Queen and David Bowie’s “Under Pressure” and you have the exact scene from GROSSE POINTE BLANK. I’m not saying I want to pump out children anytime soon. No, no, no. This 26 year-old mind and body ain’t up for that kind of maiming. Not quite ready to rip apart my labia just yet. The second realization is that I’m also not opposed to marriage. Recently, I finally admitted to myself that I’m strictly interested in a committed, long-term relationship.
Wow, this is the first time I’ve said it out loud and not cringe.
I WANT A COMMITTED, LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP!
You see, before now, I always viewed that thought as a handicap. Typically I try not pass blame onto others, but I’ll gladly point and jab fingers at the men that have suggested that such a feeling was a downfall of mine. “You’re in your 20’s and you live in L.A.! Why the hell do you want to actually date someone!?” Now that I’m not living in L.A. and choosing not to keep assholes around, I’ve grown some clarity and objectivity on the issue.
Shit, 26 feels good….
Post script- Or maybe I still have no idea what I want.