Grandma and Lionel ate Burger King kids meals tonight. They bought Lucy the Jack Russell Terrier one too.
“I don’t cook anymore because Lionel can’t chew!” Grandma explains to me.
“I thought he just got new teeth, Grandma?”
“Yeahhh, but they hurt. They don’t fit him right.”
She had already changed the subject three times. Grandma didn’t want to talk about the elephant in the room.
I don’t even particularly want to write about it.
“What did Lionel’s son say, Grandma?”
A pause, then my grandmother’s familiar shielded acknowledgement and dismissal of my question due to Lionel’s close proximity to her.
“Mom said he wants to put Lionel in a home?” I ask quietly.
I hear Lionel’s booming voice in the background, asking for mock help as Lucy tongue whips his face.
“Hold on a second,” my grandma says as I hear her small footsteps walk towards the bedroom.
She gets really quiet. “They want to put him in Walden Oaks. We went over there today to take a look, ” her (more…)
I found out yesterday that my wonderful grandmother was selected as one of Good Magazine’s People to Admire. If you’re not familiar with Good Magazine, it’s quite possibly the best magazine ever created. It’s a magazine about people and businesses who do good things in the world. Simple as that. The magazine is inspiring, encouraging, and innovative. They print on recycled paper and 100% of the subscription fee goes to a charity of your choice. You can get a feel for the magazine here. The website has an amazing interactive community which is where I discovered their “People to Admire” contest. I submitted my grandmother and she was one of sixteen chosen over hundreds. The contest is user-driven and if she wins, she will be featured in the magazine. I can’t imagine a more wonderful honor my grandmother could receive in her later years. To be featured in a magazine! Wow! Though every person nominated is inspiring, I wish more than anything that she could have something this exciting happen (more…)
Grandma doing her most favorite thing in the world- slapping Lionel
Grandma: I now have what you call “muffins”.
Grandma: My stomach is blubbery and turned into muffins.
Me: Do you mean a “muffin top”? You have a muffin top?
Grandma: Yes, I have muffins.
I speak to my grandmother almost every day and typically an exchange like the one above happens every time I talk to her. Our conversations are never boring. My favorite is when she asked me how my “blah” was doing. You know, that thing I’m writing this post on right now? I’m extremely close to my grandmother and the past few months have been challenging for all of us. She broke her back in multiple places and refused to take painkillers and her live-in boyfriend of twelve years, Lionel, is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. The excruciating pain mixed with Grandma’s belief that Lionel is acting forgetful to spite her made her a raging bitch for awhile. Now the pain has subsided and she can walk vertically, (more…)
Grandma: “How is your blah doing?”
Me: “My what?”
Grandma: “You know, that thing you write on? How is it spelled? B-L-A-H?”
Me: “Oh, you mean my blog?”
Grandma: “A what?”
Me: “A blog! Like ‘log’ with a ‘b’.”
Grandma: “A blog?!”
Grandma: “What the hell is that?”
She had a very excellent point. What the hell is a blog and why is not called blah?
My mother and grandmother’s behavior has been very ‘blah’-worthy as of lately.
Blahworthy being code word for slowly turning into The Beales.
But instead of dramatic New England accents and dozens of cats looking for attention, we have Jewish nagging and my Grandma’s boyfriend, Lionel- a crusty old man in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s and looking for attention.
It’s all started with my Grandmother’s horrible back pain. Being the stoic Depression-born woman that she is, Grandma was in complete denial about it. She walked buckled over in pain, near the point of throwing up, but refused to take any medicine. Wait- (more…)