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gift ideas

Hipstercrite Life

Last Minute Father’s Day Gift Ideas for the Lazy Child

I’m not really sure what men like.

According to every Father’s Day gift guide out there they only like five things: tools, meat, TV remotes, wine, and iPhones. This sounds like the makings of a really big asshole right there. A Dad who enjoys spending more time a.) watching TV, b.) drinking c.) playing on his phone than spending time with you.

I didn’t grow up with a man in the house so when I date someone or visit a male friend’s house, I’m utterly fascinated by the things they own. After using the restroom, I’ll sometimes linger just to look at all the man oddities in their bathroom cupboards. Things like aftershave and nose hair trimmers are foreign objects to me. Sometimes I’ll play around with these things. Sometimes I’ll get caught and asked what the hell I’m doing. I then explain that my father abandoned me as a child and that they should leave me alone. The ol’ “abandoned by the father card” works every time.

Speaking of which….my Dad is visiting me tomorrow and I’m not (more…)