Browsing Tag

Coming of age in LA

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

I Miss LA

Visiting LA was amazing and confusing. I never imagined that I would miss LA, but I do. I think?

This week I visited Los Angeles. It was my first extended trip since I walked away from the city of wandering angels.

I met up with old friends and revisited familiar locations that I abruptly left almost four years ago. Jumping into the past is both energizing and intimidating. Will I feel disconnected from my old friends? Will I want to stay in the past? Will this trip trigger an existential crisis that will leave me curled up in a ball screaming, “Who am I?!?”

The longer I’ve lived away from Los Angeles the more I’ve romanticized it. I conveniently forgot the aimless journey I was taking there, long nights crying myself to sleep or staring at the ocean sky hoping life would finally happen.

I moved to Los Angeles when I was 20 after being offered an assistant position at an actor’s production company. It took me five years to realize that I didn’t want to put someone before me (more…)

Hipstercrite Life

You Can Take The Girl Out of LA, But You Can’t Take LA Out of the Girl

Next week I’ll be reacquainted with a former flame.

A love that dragged me through the valley of extreme highs and absolute lows.

My relationship with LA is one I’ve romanticized in my writing, my dreams and very somber moments drinking alone. She turned me from a child into an girl; a girl with worn edges and heavy heart.

At some point last year, I realized that girl metamorphosed into an adult. All the hopes and dreams the girl cried for in her loneliness came true.

She loves someone now, and she knows her path career-wise.

I think about the girl often and in random moments I miss her.

I mourn her passing when watching an episode of Girls or hearing a song by M83. My new adult way of thinking tells me I’d never want to be her again, but there is a part of her that still calls to me.

The girl used to lie on Venice Beach at night, staring at the stars wondering when it will all happen for her.

She never thought that day would come, but it’s came, and I’m going to (more…)