Does SXSW give you ragin’ anxiety like it does for me?
I have something to clear off my flat chest.
After all this talk of blogging about SXSW- I can’t do it.
You know why?
Because I’ve already fizzled out.
My little motor has died and I already buried it in the backyard along with the feral cats of East Austin.
I don’t care enough about the hottest app, movie, party or show and scrambling back to regurgitate it all to you. I pretended like I cared a lot, but I’m realizing I don’t. Maybe that makes me a bad blogger, journalist or social media whore, but so be it.
When you live in Austin and work in or around the creative industries, you feel as though you’re supposed to squeeze SXSW by the nuts and get every last drop out of ’em. As a writer, screenwriter and social media nerd, it would be silly for me not to take full advantage of the festival, right? To go on 3 hours sleep every night, be drunk most of the time and trying to nudge my way into the hottest parties, RIGHT?! Everyone else is and it’s hard not to feel a sort of peer pressure.
SXSW is a time of year that causes great anxiety and joy for me- as I’m sure it does for everyone. The joy is knowing that something exciting is going on in the city, that I will meet new people and run into old. The anxiety is that there is SO F’ING MUCH GOING ON (and it’s only getting bigger), that the overwhelming thought of having to be at this party, or this meeting or this event makes me want to abandon my vehicle and crawl into a deep cave.
Yeah, I sound like I’m whining and I am because I just woke up and I can’t feel my feet. I think I lost them somewhere on 6th Street this weekend. I’m sure some kids are enjoying make a found footage film about my feet right now.
The truth is, I’m getting old… or I’m developing into the curmudgeon that I’m meant to be. I’m not sure.
I like meeting people; I don’t like running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I like running into an old friend in line; I don’t like waiting in lines for hours. I like accidentally happening upon a small, but awesome film; I don’t like being stuck watching something that everyone is jizzing their pants over and I’m left wondering what is wrong with me for not exploding over it. I like spontaneous drinks or dinner with new friends; I don’t like eating breakfast tacos for breakfast, lunch and dinner because it gives me gas and the last thing you want is gas while sitting in a movie theater next to famous people.
Anyways, it has nothing to do with the festival. I think the festival is awesome (i.e please don’t take my badge away). It’s just that after years and years of denial, I need to finally admit that my DNA does not include loving the festival-going experience. I should have learned better when I went to Coachella 2009 and tried to kill myself and everyone in my car after careening off the interstate in search…of a cave to crawl into.
If I had to do a weekend recap and share with you all my SXSW knowledge, it would be this:
-I’ve seen one documentary about underage models from Serbia called Girl Model that I got motion sickness in (3/5 stars)
-I’ve seen one midnight shorts screening that I got motion sickness in (2/5 stars)
-I’ve seen one found footage horror film called V/H/S that I somehow didn’t get motion sickness in (4/5 stars)
-I’ve interviewed a talented filmmaker and producer who are younger than me and made me question where I went wrong in life
-I had dinner with some festival programmers and folks from Alamo Drafthouse
-I had drinks with buddies at Citysearch
-I lost my feet
-I pondered if I suffer from social anxiety and need to finally address is
Maybe one day I’ll learn how to handle this kick ass festival right.
How about you? How does SXSW affect or not affect your mental well-being? PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT ALONE!