Hipstercrite Life

Canadians Are Better Than Americans

Well, I’m spending my last hour in Vancouver trying to finish up this blog post I started on Sunday. It’s been a good trip. Full of bear encounters, bald eagle encounters, and running away from raccoon encounters. I just took two Xanax because of my recently acquired fear of flying and I’m not exactly sure what I’m writing. Listen, whatever you do, don’t read Wikipedia’s list of famous plane crashes. That shit stays with you for years….

Nothing says 4th of July spirit than comparing our great country to the slightly better country just north of us.
For the past seven days I’ve been traveling through the Canadian Rockies and British Columbia and have reconfirmed what I thought back in junior high when I wanted to move to Toronto because the Kids in the Hall lived there- Canada is the shit. It’s an incredible country full of nice people, pristine nature, and clean cities. Here are some observations I made while gallivanting through the Great White North.

1.) The Calgary airport smells like Christmas morning.
2.) Even the tiniest towns in the Canadian Rockies have recycling bins on most corners.
3.) Canadians are hardcore when it comes to eating (see ‘Exotic Fondue’)

4.) That Canadians are not pretentious enough to still listen to indie music from 2008.
5.) Canadians talk adorably.
6.) That Canadians adorable talk rubs off on you.
7.) That Vancouver looks like Tokyo to you enough though you’ve ever been to Tokyo but it’s been a long time since you’ve been to New York City so maybe Vancouver looks like New York City?

8.) Shit is mo-fo’ing expensive, especially since the American dollar took a dump.
9.) On Canada Day, Mounties in the wild can be spotted.
10.) Bears walk along the side of the road and don’t give a flying f about you.

11.) That though everyone says that Vancouver is a nice city, people are pretty pushy.
12.) People from Canada feel really really bad when they do bad things (boarded up windows from the recent Vancouver riots).

13.) Canada has moderately confusing but nonetheless enjoyable public art.

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  • Reply smedette July 6, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    I've always had good experiences in Canada.

    Glad you had such a great trip (and watch out for those bears!)

  • Reply Kris July 6, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    Renewed love for your blog right here! Welcome back anytime!

  • Reply Allison July 7, 2011 at 1:53 am

    Love Love Love this post!


    Though I can't relate to the Vancouver specific points, I love my country 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it too.

  • Reply girluntitled July 7, 2011 at 3:30 am

    you had me at "canadians are better than americans."

    i have great canadian pride, and although i take a dump on my little town from time to time, it truly was a wonderful place to grow up. safe travels, eh!

  • Reply MG July 7, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    Ok, so I've never been to Canada but the fact that they write nice things on the boarded up windows makes my heart melt. And I gots to try those fries with gravy and cheese.

  • Reply kimmie coco puff July 8, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    Sounds like an awesome trip!

  • Reply suzy July 11, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    yeah canada. go us. 🙂
    but really, you need to see all the other provinces too. it's all good.

  • Reply Jason July 9, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    great post. i’m american, though, and I rather enjoy the US. i think canada has its drawbacks. i am no more fond of ontarians and quebecers than i am of people from ohio, new york, and pennsylvania. to me, they are all the same, really – you have good and bad (ive met very nasty people in toronto).
    i think we are much more modest, and almost shy to beat our own drums anymore (hardcore politicos notwithstanding). i think americans are lively and colorful – way more so than canadians.
    canada is wonderful, though, dont get me wrong.

  • Reply JamieK July 18, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    Canada is a cultural wasteland. A frozen shithole full of arrogant people who have nothing better to do than bash the U.S or Quebec.

    They are second rate Americans, unable to do anything original. Canada is BORING.


    Bored Canuck

  • Reply YourHusband June 1, 2016 at 1:58 pm

    It depends, asians in america are actually better than white canadians at just about everything (smarter, longer life expectancy, more cultured, less obese, etc)

  • Reply Bobby Blackenson April 10, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    Move there then and stop wasting our oxygen

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