As most of you know- because I yaked on about it enough- I’m going as Freddie Mercury for Halloween.
I take dressing up very seriously.
Maybe even a little too seriously.
For some reason, I still believe that if I truly want to become someone, I will physically transform into them.
Imagine my disappointment when after dressing up as Freddie Mercury last night, I realized I’m still just a tiny white girl and not a large-toothed, hairball Parsi with the vocal cords of a God.
1.) I survived a visit to Austin’s favorite costume store- Lucy In Disguise With Diamonds– to pick up my Freddie mustache, chest hair, spirit gum (adhesive), and spirit gum remover.
2.) I asked the employee if they sell chest hair and she handed me what looked like a stoner’s ratty chin braid. Once home, I unraveled the lock of hair to discover the left-overs of Alec Baldwin getting a full body shave.
3.) I could barely contain my excitement of donning chest hair later in the evening…
4.) But when I put it on, I realized that I looked like Robin Williams and I got scared.
4.) My excitement now deflated, I decided to move onto to the mustache. I trimmed it a little bit, then slopped on as much spirit gum as I could.
5.) Oh, dear God…
6.) I realized that I had to stop being a pussy…
7.) …And own Freddie Mercury.
Who am I kidding? I look like I ate Burt Reynolds circa 1972 and then regurgitated him all over myself.
What are you going as for Halloween?
Theres a guy in the pub I work at that is coming to our party as Gomez Adams. For the last 2 weeks plus he has been growing his moustache. Thats commitment to a costume.
But yours is looking like it's coming together. Hope you dont have any upperlipslips. Good luck with the final product
The clothes make the costume! Just don something fabulous and sing Queen songs all night– you'll be great!
I kinda like the chest hair, it looks really awesome.
LOVE it. You truly commit.
A fake mustache is such a beautiful thing! LOVE THIS!
As long as you can still drink with that mustache on, work it girl.
I'm going to be a bluestocking. And by that I mean I'm going to make the real bluestockings role over in their spinster graves with blue thigh highs and a short skirt.
I think Dorothy Parker, had she donned blue stockings, would be proud of my decision.
ha, that was rather adorable
i give you props girl!
That is one brave costume. I'm being a radio city rockette this year, but I'm afraid I'm going to be confused with a slutty mrs.santa claus lol because it has booty shorts.
@Robbie- Gosh, you should see the hipsters in Austin, TX. They all have mustaches and all want to look like famous people with mustaches!
@Tsaritsa- I'm going to wear tight black pants, a white under shirt, and a black English military-looking jacket.
@Joanna- Maybe it will be a new fashion trend? Women with chest hair?
@Hautemess- I love real and fake mustaches. Well, not a real mustache on me, but on dudes.
@Amanda- Well, you learn something new every day. I had to look that one up. Kudos to you!
@Christopher- Why, thank you. 😉
@Jill- Maybe you can be both?
I'm a colourless Mad Hatter, and here today at work rocking it!
dude! You're a HOT Freddie. I love it.
I don't know what you're talking about, that chest hair is awesome. Although, that expression you made along with the comment about looking like Robin Williams was a bit accurate. Once you slapped on the 'stache and 'tude, you were slowly transforming into FM. Hope you have a lovely Halloween! I'm not one for dressing up or partying, so I'll be home watching TV. Yay!
You look AMAZING! I must prefer awesomely hilarious costumes to ones that try to be cutesy/sexy. (Because that's just lame.)
Your not Lady Gaga or Snookie but original so I give you a big A+!! With the clothes & the microphone & the attitude your golden. It works!!! Happy Halloween!!
[…] wear my sweatpants in public. But what I really took away from this article is that I can wear my Freddy Mercury chest hair to […]
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