A childhood fascination of mine that has transcended into adulthood is my love of nerds. Short nerds, tall nerds, young nerds, old nerds, aesthetically questionable nerds, sexually subordinate nerds- it doesn’t matter. The more socially awkward the better.
Where did this love come from? I’m not sure. Believe me, if I knew, I wouldn’t have spent all that money seeing a psychotherapist on Saturdays and then supplementing my emotional purging with a trip to Golden Corral after every visit.
Maybe it was from the hours of watching “Back to the Future”. Somewhere between the ages of four and six I discovered that Doc Brown could get my latent sexuality flux capacitor up to 1.21 gigawatts. It wasn’t long after that that I ached to get a glimpse of Egon Spengler’s proton pack. By the time I was ten, Lord have mercy for I was powerless to the charms of Dr. Ian Malcolm. I dreamt of making sweet Goldblum love to him in the foothills of misty mountains while being scouted by vicious velociraptors.
these men satiated my questionable “should we maybe have her talk to someone about this?” fantasies and made frequent appearances in my dreams wearing knit sweaters and eating cupcakes (long story), but only one man in particular held my heart on a string.
Rick Moranis was my prince in starched clothing. My fumbling Lothario. My nebbish Romeo.
For years Moranis held the #1 spot in my heart. His characters’ affinity for circular glasses, tussled hair, and lack of self confidence showed me everything I looked for in a man. I thought my love for Moranis was mine alone, but as I grew older, I discovered that I had to share my little man with others. Dozens, maybe even a hundred people in the world love Rick Moranis.
But what is so special about Rick Moranis to others? Why do people like this guy sing about boning a giant cardboard cut-out of Moranis’ face in an alley?
I asked my alarmingly witty and attractive co-worker, Tommy, in NYC to give me a little insight. He is an aficionado on pop culture and a champion in life. If anyone knows about the importance of Moranis in today’s society, it’s Tommy:
Me: Why do you love Rick Moranis?
Tommy: Because of his glasses…and his small stature. I just want to put him in my pocket.
Me: What would you do with him in your pocket? That’s not a loaded question. Ok, maybe it is.
Tommy: I’d feed him powdered milk. And bits of cheese. I’ve often thought about putting him on a keychain. He’s an adorable little man.
I also asked my producer friend, Chris, in LA his thoughts on Moranis. Working in Hollywood practically makes him Moranis’ brother:
Me: Why do you love Rick Moranis?
Chris: Because he was the lovable, bespectacled goofball in the films of our childhood.
Me: But why do you really love him?
Chris: Honestly, I’ve seen like two movies he’s been in…
Me: I’m just going to write that you said- “Rick Moranis was possibly the greatest actor of the 20th Century. His comedic abilities blazed trails for generations of comedians, but he also proved that the nerd could overcome all adversity. Comedy AND society would not be where it is today if it weren’t for Rick Moranis.”
What I think Tommy and Chris were trying to say is that Rick Moranis was possibly the greatest actor of the 20th Century. His comedic abilities blazed trails for generations of comedians, but he also proved that the nerd could overcome all adversity. Comedy AND society would not be where it is today if it weren’t for Rick Moranis.
He was the lovable drunk that saved a bunch of alcoholic Canadians from turning into remote control zombie hockey players.
He was the flower shop associate with the high-fastening pants that got the girl but was formerly eaten by a giant, velvety-voiced plant in the original screenplay.
He was the accountant who wore coordinating velour track suits who didn’t get the girl, but later got Annie Potts.
That is why we love Rick Moranis. He taught us that anything is attainable.
But why do I love Rick Moranis the most?
Because adult Rick strangely looks a lot like me as a baby.
Happy Rick Moranis Day!