No. 6- A Partially True Story Continued

You live in one of those shoddy late 80’s peach stucco apartment complexes that looks like it barely survived the Earthquake of ’94. A prostitute eyes my car from under the street lamp as I wait for you.

I see you ascend from the barb-wired decorated front door and you look more beautiful than I even remember. You are wearing a light blue collard shirt that matches your eyes perfectly. Your blond hair is neatly tussled and I see a hint of five o’clock shadow on your rigid jaw line.
You jump in my car, smile, and I’m ready to drive anywhere with you.
Then you start talking. I didn’t remember you sounding so child-like before, but that’s ok. I’m sure you’re nervous.
“How was your day?” you ask.
“It was good. Busy. We’re in pre-production on a TV pilot for cable. A little stressful around the office. What about you?” I say in return.
“Well, I don’t have a job, so I spent the day looking for a job, played some video games, and took a nap.”
“Wow…that sounds wonderful. How long have you been in Los Angeles again?”
“Nine months.”
“And you haven’t had a job at all?”
“Except for the occasional bartending and catering gig, no. However, I met with this manager today who says he really likes my look. I think he might be a gay porn producer though, I’m not sure.”
Hm. Let’s just sit in silence the rest of the way. Just turn and look at me and smile and don’t say anything anymore until we get to where we are going.
We pull up to the Golden Gopher and are immediately harassed by a woman crying, trying to grab at our pockets. We rush in under the smoky neon light into the darkness of the bar, the only evidence of habitation is the bartender playing an arcade game in the corner and the new Arcade Fire album playing overhead.
“Oh my God, I love them!” I shout.
“Arcade Fire. Ever heard of them?”
“What kind of music do you like?”
“I don’t listen to music. I mean, I guess when I do, it’s Nickelback.”
We stand there in silence in front of the bar. I look at you and try to force some sort of affirming smile that Nickelback is an excellent choice in music for a….
“How old are you?”
…for a 27 year-old man.
The bartender finally acknowledges us and walks over.
“What can I get you?”
“Whatever your cheapest on tap is.” you blurt out.
Before I’m able to order, you’ve paid for your drink and walked over to a giant couch in the corner.
“I guess I’ll have….whatever the strongest possible drink you can make is.”
As I wait for my drink, I look over at you, lying stretched eagle, chugging your beer as quickly as you can, and eyeing the Pacman arcade game as though you’re ready to make verocious love to it.
Happy 24th birthday, Lauren.
To be continued once again….
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  • Reply Allison June 1, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    I love how this post features two Canadian bands.

    One I'm extremely proud to say comes from my country.

    One I'm totally ashamed and embarrassed of.

  • Reply Jess June 1, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    Yesssss loving the awkward date posts…I am literally cringing as I read this and feeling your pain.

  • Reply Brown June 2, 2010 at 12:10 am

    Every time someone mentions they like Nickleback, I always say, "O yeah… they have good goatees,"

  • Reply One Blonde Girl June 2, 2010 at 12:22 am

    Oh… my. Nickleback? Ugh. Yuck. Enjoying the story, but I don't really foresee this ending well.

  • Reply Big Mark 243 June 2, 2010 at 2:49 am

    …then you start talking…

    Nice way to set the stage. Also thought you gave equal time to the dou–, er dude by mentioning about the unemployment thingy. I am sure that among the things he didn't remember, that would be one that he did and affect him as well.

    Did any one tell you that you are a talented writer? I thought so!!

  • Reply EMQ June 2, 2010 at 3:55 am

    Anxiously awaiting part 3…

  • Reply Nadster June 2, 2010 at 4:30 am

    p.s. a girl I graduated high school (who is pretty much fantastic!) dated a guy from the arcade fire. You should listen to the bicycles also an amasing canadian band… just saying

  • Reply AURORA MEGAN June 2, 2010 at 4:38 am

    The guys from Arcade Fire TOTALLY went to my old high school in Ottawa, Canada. They did a surprise concert in the cafeteria the year before my freshman year…made the papers and people are STILL talking about it.

  • Reply bard June 2, 2010 at 9:22 am

    I'm loving this series!

  • Reply Boulette de Viande! June 2, 2010 at 11:35 am

    Nickleback literally makes me angry. Video games and naps and he didn't buy you a drink. Dreamy.

  • Reply Colleen June 2, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    Just the mention of Nickleback is like fingernails running across a chalkboard. He may have dreamy blue eyes and tussled blond hair, but it's clear that he doesn't have ears.

  • Reply Writing Womb June 2, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    hmmm Nickleback blows…I would of high tailed it out of there upon hearing that for sure…I am from Canada and even I can't be brain washed into liking them…man that suxs…i recently went out with someone like that too…gorgeous to look at but nothing going on in the inside blah!
    looking forward to part 3
    The Naked Writer

  • Reply -Your Friendly Neighborhood Dentonista June 2, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    He looks like an angel. In fact, he's the angel of death.

  • Reply steff June 3, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    oh man, for your sake i hope this ends up better than the direction it seems to be heading in right now.
    good lord…

  • Reply Grant June 4, 2010 at 1:20 am

    You are gonna sleep with this guy aren't you?

  • Reply Josh June 4, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    That was excellent.

  • Reply xgametop June 4, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    arcade arcade top

  • Reply Lynn June 4, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    There are so many things to say…1. I am from upstate NY and get asked to say saaalad twice a week, even better, I eat my saaalad with a spaaaatula. Very creative my coworkers are. So, 2. naturally I love you already. But then to read that you, too have a different mailing address, license and place where your soul resides, makes me feel at home (wherever thaaat is.) This is (sadly) my first time reading but will most definitely not be the last. I can only hope for a little more than an awkward date with such a beautiful man on my upcoming 24th birthday this month. Cheers to findind someone with a similar life and love for writing about it!

    PS- This man sounds beautiful and awful all at once. You, on the other hand, are amazing. RUN.

  • Reply floreta June 7, 2010 at 1:45 am

    awkward. first date? nickelback?? EW. lol. as if our soulmates could be decided by music taste 😉

    but yeah. no.

  • Reply Sam Albion June 7, 2010 at 7:38 am

    he's a bum. I hope you kneed him in the 'nads… or drove soemwhere really remote… and left him to make his own way home.. haha…

  • Reply The Fashion Mercenary June 20, 2010 at 1:10 am

    I think you and I are dating the same guys. I literally went on this date last week 🙁

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