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Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

10 Fun Things to Do While You’re on Painkillers


Swollen cheeks- check! Jewish nose- check! Unwavering vice on a bottle of Hydrocodone- check!


As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I had my wisdom teeth extracted last week.

What I failed to mentioned is that I was high as a kite on painkillers when I wrote the post.

Er, “high” maybe isn’t the best word.

“Blissfully zoned out and chewing on my tongue” might be better.

This is my first time ever taking painkillers and it’s been an equally enjoyable and terrifying experience.

Enjoyable in that the gaping wound-hole pain gently lifts away and I’m left smiling as I slowly slide down the side of the couch. Terrifying in that my lucid dreaming at nightfall leaves me pissing my pants and confused. One night my boyfriend sneezed and the sound registered in my brain as “OH MY GOD! SOMEONE IS STABBING ME TO DEATH!” and I woke up in tears and hyperventilated for the next ten minutes.

I also tried swallowing my gauze twice.

Though the pain is still sitting idly (more…)