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Hipstercrite Life

Will you be my grandmother’s pen pal?

grandma love

This is my grandmother.

She is one of my favorite people.

I come from a very small family.

There are only four of us.

My mother, my father, my grandmother and I.

Dad left when I was seven, and my grandmother, who still lives across the street from my mother, helped raise me.

I grew up in the clothing store she owned for 35 years and spent my childhood thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

She still is, but she’ll tell you she’s not.

“Beauty is for young people,” she says.

I try to tell her that her logic is faulted; I tell her that beauty can be any age, any woman, any soul.

But she won’t hear of it.

I never thought that the day would come when this determined, stubborn, busy-bee-of-woman would get old.

But she did.

And she hates it.

Aches and pains make it difficult for her to walk for long stretches of time.

She gets exhausted easily.

She spends many of her days inside her house, losing track of what day it is and missing (more…)

Film, Pop Culture

Notes From a Recovering Lena Dunham Hater

 

Lena Dunham

I used to dislike Lena Dunham simply for the fact that I was utterly and completely jealous of her.

She had everything I wanted: a respected film and television show loosely based off of her life, a book deal, cover stories in major newspapers and magazines, comparisons to Woody Allen, a friendship with Nora Ephron, alarming smarts, self-confidence and relatability. (I think I’ll forgo the comparisons to Woody Allen now.)

I wanted to disapprove of her so badly, so I made myself. I became the person I despised: the woman who enjoys tearing down other women who are more successful than she.

Let me start by saying, I still think Tiny Furniture is a mediocre film, and I have only seen a few episodes of Dunham’s hit show, Girls. I’m neither a big fan of nor a connoisseur of her career, but what has made me change my mind about her is who she is as a human and a woman. 

Unlike the majority of young actresses who have found success in their early years, Dunham takes nothing (more…)

Hipstercrite Life

Anxiety and the Thirty-Something

Austin sky

It got to the point where I couldn’t leave the house.

A small, round bruise on my leg would send me into unshakeable despair.

“I’m going to die,” I’d repeat to myself.

My suffering boyfriend, the man who didn’t sign up for this, would hold me and remind me, like he always did, that everything was going to be ok. You are ok.

And that’s the kicker, right? You know you are ok, so why are you feeling this way?

Minor panic attacks were hitting two or three times a week, while the major ones, the “PLEASE, SOMEONE TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE I’M PROBABLY HAVING A STROKE” moments, were once or twice a month. It made me irritable, it made me flakey and it made me want to retreat from the world.

Throughout my twenties, I was confused, I was sad, I drank, I passive-aggressively texted paramours, I threw myself into my job, I changed who I was for the worst. All of these ugly feelings and character manifestations happened, but there was one (more…)

Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

10 Ways To Know If Your Fitbit Has Taken Over Your Life

Fitbit

Activity trackers have been all the rage in 2014, and arguably no device has received such wide acclaim as the Fitbit. For many, the Fitbit, which comes in the form of a clip or wristband, has become a form of obsession. Once you’ve joined the Cult of Fitbitdom, there is no turning back. You take it with you everywhere you go, and you’ve found yourself becoming the health nut you typically despise. It’s ok though; you’re not alone. Millions of people have become just as annoying as you and I.

I love my Fitbit. I named it Harry. He likes going on long walks. Sometimes he says “Bonjour, Lauren!” and I giggle. I LOVE HARRY.

If you’re wondering whether or not your Fitbit has taken control of your life, here is a quick checklist.

____________

1.) You are often asked the question: “Do you have to pee or something?”

2.) You know that you’ve become that asshole who walks in place at work, but you’re ok with it. You’re ok with the stares BECAUSE EVERYONE WITHOUT A FITBIT WILL DEVELOP (more…)

Travel

A Love Letter to the Land of Enchantment

New Mexico ghost town

When I tell people that New Mexico is my favorite state, they ask why.

Why that grizzled old state? 

If they have ever visited the Land of Enchantment, they end their conversation with, “Santa Fe and Taos are beautiful, but the rest of the state can go.”

Even as non-New Mexican, this comment cuts at my heart like a steel blade. You see, many people just don’t understand New Mexico.

It is the place you drive through to answer your California dreams.

You have a distance relative, Dancing Thunderbolt (not her birth name), who lives in a New Mexican ghost town and sells turquoise. You’ve never met her. A common family dinner conversation is how Dancing Thunderbolt hasn’t shaved her legs since 1976.

You know there is poverty. You know that there are Native Americans.

Maybe you’ve heard of Hatch green chiles or the Manhattan Project or Georgia O’Keeffe.

You’ve most definitely heard of Breaking Bad.

Is the state filled with meth labs?

But mostly you don’t think (more…)

Hipstercrite Life

Is the news making you sad? You’re not alone.

Austin sunset

It’s been a tough week. For everyone.

Ah, fuck it.

It’s not just the week.

Things have been tough for a long time.

The news.

Oh, the news.

It has gotten to a point where you just don’t want to read it, see it, hear it.

But you gotta.

You have to stay informed.

You have to know what other people are going through. 

See the pain.

The white flags have been thrown up on Facebook statuses.

“The world is too much; I’m getting offline for awhile.”

The heaviness of our hearts is making us sad.

We want to close our eyes.

I watched a comic book blockbuster last weekend, and I started crying afterwards.

I felt physically pummeled by the never-ending action and violence.

The sound of gunfire blanketed my ears.

When I’d look down, images of Gaza projected on the back of my hands.

And it made me think why.

Why do we watch these films of violence? Or in other cases, rape and torture?

With so much hatred festering in the world, why do escape (more…)

Film, Music, Pop Culture

In Defense of Relatability in Storytelling

Scarlett O'Hara

This week, I noticed a number of film acquaintances and friends sharing a New Yorker article calling the “rise” of the expectation of relatability in creative work a “failure” of society. The article’s author, Rebecca Mead, believes that by us viewers expecting relatability in whatever work we are observing, we are creating a “reductive experience” for ourselves.

The thesis begins with Mead chastising Ira Glass for tweeting “Shakespeare sucks” and bemoaning the classic author for his unrelatable story and characters in King Lear, and goes on to list several instances where critics have relied on the term when championing or lamenting creative work. Though I don’t disagree that that was a poor choice in wording from a man very much respected in the world of storytelling, I find that Mead gives a very narrow definition of the word “relatable” and misses out on the necessity of an empathetic core.

She cites critic Virginia Heffernan’s 2004 comment that relatability is a “weird daytime (more…)

Travel

Hipster City Travel: Wilmington, North Carolina

Wilmington, North Carolina

Oh, Dawson

Wilmington, North Carolina, is one of those idyllic coastal towns peppered with rose-lined picket fences, friendly neighbors, an old-timey Main Street and, in David Lynch’s version of the city, the occasional severed ear chilling in a field. Located just a stone’s throw from the Atlantic Ocean, this town of 110,000 boasts a wonderfully weird arts and culture community nuzzled within 19th century storefronts and brick-lined roads.

Cucalorus Film Festival

I first visited Wilmington last year when our film played the Cucalorus Film Festival. Now in its twentieth year, Cucalorus has become an institution in Wilmington. Run by a colorful group of filmmakers and film champions, this interactive fest takes hold of the city for one week, with pop-up screenings featured across downtown. What makes this fest special is its seamless intertwining of the local community with visiting filmmakers. It is quickly jumping the ranks of top regional film festivals in the U.S., and filmmakers flock to attend. By the (more…)

Hipstercrite Life

Finding Companionship in Your 80s: A Love Story

grandma love

My grandmother drinking a margarita for the first time in her life

“This man started chatting me up in the parking lot,” my grandmother called to tell me this past Saturday. “Man, did he like to talk a lot. He’s 87 too.”

 I wasn’t sure where she was going with this.
“Anyway, he asked me out for dinner.”
My grandmother and I talk several times a week. Over the past year, our conversations have taken a melancholic turn. Two years ago, her partner, Lionel, a tiny, spitfire of a Jew, just like my grandmother, was admitted to a home for people with Alzheimer’s. Lionel was not my grandmother’s greatest love- in truth, I’m not sure she’s ever truly been in love- but he was a companion. She had grown dependent on his presence, and vice versa.
“I told him that I couldn’t go, but he gave me his number.”
“What?! Why did you say you couldn’t go?!”
My grandmother has a tendency to miss out on the great joys in life. She was raised to be a martyr by martyr. In fact, when her second (more…)
Travel

Reasons Why You Should Travel by Train

I’ve clocked 125 hours on the train in the past ten months.

Ninety-six of those hours were spent on a single trip from Austin, Texas, to Syracuse, New York.

The train became my preferred form of travel after flying started setting off all kinds of anxiety alarms. The experience of going to the airport and then barreling through the air in a disorienting metal tube forced me to keep my feet on the ground.

After my initial train trip from Tucson, Arizona, to Austin, Texas, where I rolled out of bed from the hotel, walked across the street and straight onto the train, I became hooked. Every time I see the bright, streamlined body of the antiquated trains also sends a small chill through my spine. Even as a little girl, I loved the rhythmic sound of a train rolling along the track. Trains beckon to a time that I dreamt  being a part of.

Though the train is extraordinarily inconvenient if you’re short on time, it’s the people you meet and the new landscapes you see that keep you (more…)