Oh hello! Longtime no see, friend.
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written here, and I’m currently sitting on the couch, bloated after eating an entire pizza, and thinking, “Maybe I should check in, see how everyone is doing and let them know I’m bloated on pizza.”
How are you?
Me? I’m bloated.
But other than that I’m ok.
I mean, my grandmother died this year.
Any of you who have hung in here with me know I thought the world of that ol’ broad.
A good cry sneaks in every day, particularly when I see a Golden Girls-branded anything (Grandma was my Dorothy) or smell garlic. Shit, pretty much EVERYTHING makes me think of her.
Mothballs (the sweaters in her armoire).
Crumpled tissues (she used to stuff them in her sleeves and drop them everywhere).
Shoulder pads (the woman LOVED them).
My beautiful grandmother.
Grief is a very, very strange thing. Sometimes you can joke about (more…)
Some of you may recall my previous adventures in edibles, where I feared my face was falling off AND my boyfriend was going to jump off our hotel room balcony. I vowed never to try edibles again. Except I did. And I lost my friggin’ mind again.
First, let me say this: Because marijuana is legalized in Colorado, it’s kind of not a big thing. People who don’t smoke or eat weed, smoke or eat weed. It’s like alcohol: easy to buy at stores, at parties, people over the age of 40 enjoy it.
And second, lemme say this: CURRENT AND FUTURE EMPLOYERS, I’M NOT A DRUG USER. COLORADO IS THE DEVIL. IT’S LIKE VEGAS, BUT MUCH PRETTIER.
Ok, so after my last episode, I was like, “Nope. No way. Never again. This is Satan’s bacon.”
But then I was snowshoeing in Breckenridge with my boyfriend and friend, and the friend was like, “Here, just eat 1/3 of this ONE gummy bear. You will be fine.”
And I thought, Sure. I’ll be fine. What the hell can happen on 1/3 of one gummy?
WELL, A LOT (more…)
Back in February, I pulled a Maureen Dowd and completely lost my f’ing mind on (legal) edibles in Denver, Colorado. (I emphasize ‘legal’ for my current employers and any future employers. Hi, guys.)
Let me start by saying: I’m weed ignorant.
I believe this is how many stories begin when someone loses their shit on edibles.
“I didn’t feel anything so I started eating more…”
I guess when my boyfriend and I nervously bought the THC-filled cookies from a dispensary in the hip Highlands part of Denver, our knees shaking as we giggled like senior citizens who had just watched a porno for the first time, we must have missed the part about waiting an hour to feel the effects. We were too busy feeling like scared ass clowns.
Instead, about 30 minutes into eating the cookies, my boyfriend proclaimed that the skunky-tasting treats were defective, so we decided to go for a second one. And then a half of a third.
And for another 30 minutes, nothing.
And then we met up with (more…)
“Denver is Austin five years ago,” we heard from no less than five Denverites during our recent trip.
“There are so many jobs.”
“There is so much construction going on.”
“The traffic is insane!”
“Look at all these condos!”
We heard these statements over and over as we talked to friends, acquaintances and complete strangers on the sidewalks of Denver.
At first glance, Denver looks nothing like Austin. Though ATX is home to 200,000 additional citizens, the skyline and downtown streets of Denver feel like that of a bigger city. It isn’t until you dig into the individual neighborhoods that you discover the quirkiness that lies within. The DIY attitude and outdoor spirit are alive and well in the Mile High City. And as a recent NPR story pointed out, Denver is the no. 2 fastest-growing city behind Austin, and much like its counterpart, the foodie scene is booming.
It is in public transportation and walkability where the two cities begin to differ, though (more…)