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dating jerks

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

It’s Going to Be OK: A Twenty-Something Tale

 

I have a friend in her early twenties who is beautiful, intelligent and very gifted. She’s the sort of person you spot from across the room and think, “Her. She’s the one I want to talk to. There is something special about that one.”

Everyone knows this except her.

She doesn’t believe it.

Right now, she has found herself at a complete loss as to what to do with her life. This confusion has led to a certain amount of paralysis in creating; where do you start when you’re not sure what direction you’re going? This paralysis can often be amplified by a newfound real world insecurity once you begin comparing yourself to your peers and erroneously, people older than you.

When I talk to her, I find myself getting riled up, remembering the days when I felt exactly like her. The words that leave her lips are identical to the ones I found myself saying at 22, 23, 24.

I try so hard not to project my own experiences upon her when conversing, but it is difficult. I want to (more…)

Hipstercrite Life

I Am Not a Girl

I’ve never categorized myself as a girl.

In fact, I’ve never even felt like a girl.

I recognize myself as a “woman” and as “Lauren”, but not a “girl”.

I’ll even take “lady”, but no “girl”.

“Girl” conjures up images of monthly hair, manicure and tanning appointments. Weekly shopping trips with girlfriends, yoga classes every other day and nightly wine drinking. All these activities are buoyed by one topic, men, and the ritual of peacocking is an important daily priority.

I know a group of girls who do everything together. Not a day goes by where they don’t see or talk to one another. Their week is filled with exercise classes, lunches and slumber parties enjoyed together. The topic of conversation is typically boys, but often flecked with diet, health and current events. From the outside, I often look at their narrative and want in. I’ve never had what they had. A part of me is wistful, maybe even a little jealous. Here is a sisterhood of girls who will always be there for (more…)

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

10 Steps On How to Stop Dating Douchebags

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 Dear Women Who Loooove Douchebags,

I’m meeting more and more of you lately. Pretty, smart and outgoing young women who date utter and complete douches- and not in the “vaginal irrigation” sense. More like the “vaginal irritation” sense.

You wonder why the douchebags you date don’t call you, don’t want to be exclusive or never any affection or respect. You ask everyone but the douchebag why he doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends or family, why he insists on having sex without a condom and why he must still talk to his ex every day.

The douchebags always break up with you and you’re constantly left in a state of total despair, crying, “Gosh, there must be something wrong with me!”

You’re right.

There is something wrong with you.

It’s not that you’re not attractive, intelligent, interesting, fun to hang out with or fun to sleep with.

Your problem is that you date douchebags.

Duh.

You suffer from Douchebag Attraction Disorder. DAD for short (I’ll (more…)