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20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

This Must be the Place

Sunday was a quiet and simple day.

The sort of day that every person looks forward to. Sunny, warm, and sweet.

I wandered around the house pondering what to do. I was bored and feeling completely stalled.

Boredom blurs the lines of content and ambivalence.

I paced the house, I picked up and moved an object or two, I sat down, I stood up, I did 8 push-ups, I turned on the TV, I turned it off, I listened to 2 1/2 minutes of a song, I turned it off.

Finally, I stood in the doorway and looked down at the ground. Seven years ago, I thought, seven years ago this behavior would have culminated into me having a drink, me writing a bunch of nonsensical lament in my notebook, crying, then falling asleep fully clothed with streaks of mascara running down my face.

I was 20 then. I was in a new city. I knew no one. I worked 24/7. I felt utterly and completely alone. I was bored. I paced the house. I overthought. I discovered that I had insecurities. I had my heart broken by adults. (more…)