Writing

Who Has the Best Abs for a Dead Dude?

While I work on a post about being a poor hipster…
Who Has the Best Abs for a Dead Guy?
What is your pick?

“I may or may not be wearing underwear right now. You decide.”


             “Do you think these pants conceal my hips? I feel fat today.”


                 “Come any closer and I’ll slice you with my abs.”
         I never knew Paul Newman was Jewish. My grandma would approve!
                           Fail.
                         “Cary, do you think this makes us look gay?”

                                                What a bush!
                  “Hello, Hunter? Guess what I’m wearing right now….”
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28 Comments

  • Reply Melanie's Randomness March 29, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    Oh your captions are too funny! I like the one on the pool board! I think Marlon Brando & Paul Newman had the best.

  • Reply a blount March 29, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    paul newman ftw.

  • Reply Chai Latté March 29, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    My vote is for Jesus!

  • Reply Sarah March 29, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    ooo i love me some steve mcqueen!

  • Reply Sassy March 29, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    Mmmmm. Dead Paul Newman. [Cool] Hands [Luke] down.

  • Reply VegKat March 29, 2010 at 8:41 pm

    Rock Hudson is my gay (dead) boyfriend, but I'm gonna have to say Paul Newman. My Jewish fetish is almost as strong as my gay fetish. Almost.

  • Reply April March 29, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    Mmmmm… a young (and breathing) Paul Newman. Nice. In high school I dated a guy whose dad looked just like Paul Newman. I practically lived at their house. Good times.

  • Reply Johana Hill March 29, 2010 at 9:39 pm

    I'm going for Paul Newman's abs too! ;p

  • Reply Sarah_J_Evans March 29, 2010 at 10:16 pm

    Can I add a nominee? Please?!!

    Google seach images for Joseph Pilates (founder of the exercise regime).

    Abs to die for at any age!!

  • Reply EmilyGustafson March 29, 2010 at 10:51 pm

    Paul Newman! He's so hot!

  • Reply T!nK March 29, 2010 at 11:33 pm

    pauul muthafuckin newman!! lol

  • Reply Julie, The Wife March 30, 2010 at 1:33 am

    Paul Newman can put his dressing on my salad any day.

  • Reply Layla Winterborne March 30, 2010 at 1:43 am

    Oh god…Steve McQueen…

  • Reply Colleen March 30, 2010 at 2:38 am

    It's hard to tell since some of these guys' pants are hitting at mid-chest level, but I'll go with Matthew McConaughey… I mean… Paul Newman.

  • Reply zachary March 30, 2010 at 3:09 am

    That James Dean pic is hilarious lol!! fail hahaha..

  • Reply RoSe March 30, 2010 at 3:29 am

    hipsterical… !!
    I love your captions and I vote for Mr. Newman -and second the comment about dressing my salad anyday,… OMG, my glasses are fogging.

  • Reply birdykins March 30, 2010 at 4:21 am

    Paul Newman wins every contest ever.

    Oh, Paul.

    I make out with his salad dressing label sometimes, just to be close to him.

  • Reply Rusty Hoe March 30, 2010 at 4:21 am

    That picture of Paul Newman is fine, but I just can't go past my Atticus.

  • Reply inflammatory writ March 30, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Newman. NO CONTEST. That man was gorgeous.

  • Reply Angie March 30, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Ooooh my vote is for the young Paul Newman.. heellooo!!!

  • Reply Texanthropology March 30, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    Mmmm, Paul Newman, so delicious. I would like to have been Newman's Own, if you know what I'm sayin'.

  • Reply Adrienne Hadaway March 30, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    Paul Newman all the way! Too bad those are dead abs though, I guess, if he weren't, they'd be really old-guy abs. Not my favorite.

  • Reply IT March 31, 2010 at 12:32 am

    Well those are all well and good, but Kiana Tom gets my vote

  • Reply Amy March 31, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Paul Newman!

  • Reply The Vegetable Assassin April 1, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Oddly I'm not at all into blondes as a rule, yet I'd take Paul Newman (yum!) and even Steve McQueen, from that list. Paul Newman though…lovely. Those eyes. That smile. And he made great pasta sauce too!

  • Reply Sarah April 1, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    I can't even answer this adequately because any time I see young Brando's pretty, pretty face I get all…incoherent.

  • Reply Fragrant Liar April 4, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    Paul Newman, anytime of the day or night or in my dreams. Plus, I'd be mesmerized by his eyes more than his pecs anyway.

    Bring it on, baby blue eyes.

  • Reply Erika April 9, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    Brando wins overall body. Newman wins overall hotness. Heston wins best chest hair. McQueen wins for going commando.

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