Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

Holiday Gift Ideas for the Semi-Indigent

We’re all broke. Unless you’re that asshole who is not. If so, then maybe you should stop reading my blog and start contributing financially, huh?

I certainly know that I’m broke. And not even in the, “I really have some dough set aside but am telling everyone that I can’t afford to do Christmas gifts this year” broke. Every single penny is accounted for. Except for the ones spent on ridiculous amounts of grocery store sushi.

If you’re anything like me, then you probably are wondering how you can show your love to friends and family outside of giving them a pat on the back and saying, “Thank you for looking after me when I can’t even look after myself.” Below is my list of super inexpensive gift ideas for the holidays.

1.) Pickling– I showed you yesterday how to pickle the living crap out of peppers. Who doesn’t love pickles? Who? WHO?!? Tell me right now and I will beat you with this rotten cucumber that didn’t make the next batch of pickling. You can pickle anything, really. Peppers, cucumbers, beets, carrots, cats, small children. So, why not give the gift of anaerobic fermentation this holiday season?   
Items needed: Jars, desired produce, water, vinegar, sugar, salt, spices of your tasting.

2.) DIY Snow Globes– If you’re afraid you’re going to give your friends Botulism, you can use those pickling jars to make snow globes instead. Martha Stewart has a great instructional guide on how to glue plastic figurines against their will into a glass jar. Instead of tiny deer or trees, you should think about gluing Mr. Sherwood in a simulated pit of fiery hell to represent the plight of the middle class during this recession.
Items Needed: Jar, random tiny people found around the house, glue, glitter, glycerin.

3.) Creative Photo Ideas– What better way to say “I adore you maybe a little too much” than cutting up a photo of a loved one’s face? Photojojo has some excellent ideas for DIY photo gifts for the holidays, including how to create panographies and flipbooks. My Christmas gift to my mother this year will be a tear-stained photo of me as a child, care-free and innocent.
Items Needed: Photos, scissors, glue, imagination.

4.) BoozeNothing says “Christmas” like lying on your childhood bed, cradling your high school senior yearbook, and screaming, “Why?” over and over. Chances are booze got you to that point, so why not help a friend get there too by offering them homemade alcohol?  Readymade Magazine has a wonderful hard cider recipe you can check out here. Though I lost interest in following the recipe after the first line, I’m sure it’s something that a reader with an attention span longer than that of a squirrel could get into.
Items Needed: Apple cider, yeast, sugar, various bottles, rubber tubes, pots, and other crap.


5.) Felt Finger Puppets– Create felt puppet finger versions of you and your friends. Then act out conversations you’d like to have with your friends but are too afraid to have in real life in front of them.See how they react. Then give them the tiny felt versions of themselves. Or you could just make them a Ryan Reynolds felt finger puppet to use on those special nights.
Items Needed: Felt, scissors, sewing supplies.

Are you making Christmas gifts this year? What gifts have you made in the past?

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  • Reply bsimms8907 December 15, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    These are all such cute ideas. I made my future mother-in-law a scrapbook cookbook. Every page was someone in the family's favorite recipe. She absolutely loved it, but not I've set the bar so high I'm not sure how I'm going to top it this year.

  • Reply AfterGirl December 15, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    I have pieces of an old quilt either my great grand mother or her daughter my great aunt made. I am making photo envelopes with them. Super easy about 15 minutes to make.

  • Reply KeLLy aNN December 15, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    Well, all I can say is, thank your lucky stars I'm not 5 anymore cause you'd all be getting Colored Macaroni Necklaces.
    Yes, I am making gifts again this.
    My favorite is a painting for a friend that is three strokes away from being finished.
    And a LoVe of Resin will get you far, my friend…

  • Reply Hipstercrite December 15, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    @brittney- that's a brilliant idea! i like that idea a lot. i wish there were cooks in the family. my g-ma cooks but she kind of wings it.

    @aftergirl- do you have any pictures?

    @kelly ann- if we could all be so lucky to paint like you! do you have a link of your work?

  • Reply One Blonde Girl December 15, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    I try to make my own wrapping paper every year. This year I'm using brown paper and watercolor paints. One year I used fruit as stampers with some tempera paint on some leftover white craft paper I had lying around. I've also been known to wrap gift cards in jars of candy. And then, I top it all off with a homemade up-cycled ornaments.

  • Reply j.m. neeb December 15, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    For those who are so inclined, a personal essay centered on family "stuff" (shared memories, humorous stories, etc.) can be a nice, inexpensive gift. If you put some thought into it and write it from the heart, they'll be able to tell and will hold onto it forever. You know, if you're into that kind of thing and all…

    Also, giving friends and family members free karate lessons is rather inexpensive. So there's always that, too.

  • Reply KeLLy aNN December 16, 2010 at 1:19 am

    I thought I had them on my bloglog, but I don't.
    I'll be posting pics of this painting when it's done, and I'll just add the others.
    Your a follower so just keep an eye out for the next few days.. "}

  • Reply Ms Amanda December 16, 2010 at 1:22 am

    We're 'Knifty Knitting' hats and scarves for our friends. Because we already have the looms and yarn is cheaper than 'gifts'.
    Also, fudge and/or cookies I think.
    Origami wreaths make fun ornaments to give as well.
    Some of our friends will get all three. Ooooh. Fancy.

  • Reply Melanie's Randomness December 16, 2010 at 2:53 am

    I LOVE the snow globe idea!! I have a friend who loves Elvis and I know a dollar store that has an adorable lil elvis doll. I can totally make one with it. Uhh-huhh! =)

    I once made pin cushions for all the ladies of the family cuz they all sew. It worked so well!! =)

    Melanie's Randomness

  • Reply Tara December 16, 2010 at 5:41 am

    Thank you for the link on how to make snow globes! I've been thinking about making them, recently, but I kept forgetting too google how to make the snow bits!

  • Reply Adria December 16, 2010 at 7:20 am

    I Ebayed the shit out of this Christmas and I'm super psyched about it. No one's present was over $20 (the most was $18) and they're all super original.

    My family will probably be unenthused, but whatever.

  • Reply Christopher December 16, 2010 at 7:52 am

    Anyone ever made a sextoy snowglobe? I'm slightly disturbed that that's the first thing I thought of.

  • Reply Politics of Love Chick December 16, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    Thank god for other penniless people.
    I'm gonna rock the snowglobe and cider ideas.

  • Reply Politics of Love Chick December 16, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    Thank god for other penniless people.
    I'm gonna rock the snowglobe and cider ideas.

  • Reply Politics of Love Chick December 16, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    Thank god for other penniless people.
    I'm gonna rock the snowglobe and cider ideas.

  • Reply Politics of Love Chick December 16, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    Thank god for other penniless people.
    I'm gonna rock the snowglobe and cider ideas.

  • Reply Tara December 17, 2010 at 4:42 am

    I wish I could be more creative and come up with cute gifts like the ones you've posted here.

  • Reply HowToFakeItInAmerica December 20, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    I'm not going home for Christmas this year, so I made a little tutorial/video for family and friends about my first grown up christmas tree. Now my mom thinks I have a substance abuse problem.

  • Reply Vinisha January 7, 2011 at 11:55 am

    congrats! keep up the good work/this is a great presentation.
    Wedding Gift Ideas

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