Mannequin Babies Make Good Watch Dogs

My plan worked.

THE TOTALLY AWESOME HIPSTER GIVEAWAY contest was not just for you.
It’s not all about you, you know?
It was also for me.
It was a way for me to derive from the glowing orb of your collective wittiness and creativity. I just stole a tiny piece of you. I’m sorry.

Oh, I also just learned that I changed someone’s life by introducing them to Steve Martin’s THE JERK.
I think I want that on my epitaph:

Daughter/Blogger/Childless Shut-In/Good At Introducing People to the Movie THE JERK

There were just too many wonderful comments left on the giveaway post not to share.
Here are some fine examples of ingenious at it’s best:

Daynya: lauren, in bizarro world, you and i would take our mannequin babies to movies with us, then go have bloody mary’s at brunch while they sat outside, guarding our bikes 🙂

VegKat: I love giveaways, and I love your blog. I want to make out with like every post you write. (Sometimes I actually do.) And is the theme “Mannequin”? Cause if you are giving away James Spader (ca. 1987) and I lose, I’ll kill myself.

Nadster: Lauren, I think that we should high five… not sexually…. not in the shower… just a solid high five. It makes the world go round. Have you ever seen someone NOT smile while high fiving?

Pono Madison: Lauren, I occasionally write your name on my notes surrounded my hearts. I also often misspell the word occasionally and then fix it by putting two fingers on my touchpad because I don’t use a mouse and my mac is incredibly awesome. One of those sentences was a lie. I’ve never had a PBR beer, so I’m not a real hipster. I suppose I need this giveaway to start my journey into hipsterdom. Which my computer is telling me isn’t a word. silly computer. It’s 3:53 am. Both those things were true. I think I’m going to stop rambling now.

Benny Paul: Lauren, In an alternate universe, we lived in a gothic apartment building in New York City in 1984. One day your eggs fried themselves on your counter and I offered you to do your taxes for you and you were like, eh, nah, but I’ve got a gate, and I was like, awesome, I’ve got keys, and then there was an interdimensional cross rip, and after the whole dimension-crossing thing, you were like “Whoa, I just went to New York of the future, and it wasn’t as cool,” and I was like, “Oh my god, me too, but I think I’m still there.” And then we were like, “Well, nice meeting you,” and we shook hands. And it was a super respectful handshake that was very memorable.

Mel: Lauren, Someone loaned me The Jerk on DVD a month ago and from there it got shoved under my bed and I proceeded to forget all about it. You inspired me to watch it and guess what? It change my life!! Hence, I’m a better person because of you. I hope I win, but if not, can we be best friends instead?

Sophie Neutron: Dear Lauren; in an alternate reality we would be soul mates…that continually never meet.

Except for one time. When we both randomly witness the same chicken laying it’s egg in a silly place and breaking it. Then we would walk off in opposite directions with me wandering where your friend got that amazing bedazzled thong body suit…and….I haven’t eaten anything resembling any person in months.

The Eternal Worrier: Wow, the mannequin has a huge gap between her eye brows… shit I’m a man,should I even have noticed that?! I went out with a girl in the 80s who had no real eye brows; she just put them on with eyeliner. Some times when we were out clubbing they would get smudged and look like big tire tracks across her forehead… Hang on I’ve said too much and gone off on a tangent.

Thanks for commenting everyone!
Tell your friends to comment here.
Or don’t.
Yeah, don’t.
Because that means your chances of winning will go down.

Here is another clue for the giveaway:

I’ll announce the winner on Monday and at that point I will have figured out what the hell the giveaway even is.

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  • Reply Christine Macdonald February 26, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    You're such a blog tease. Blease.


  • Reply Daynya February 26, 2010 at 6:21 pm

    they do, they DO make good watchdogs. if someone was strollin' along and they were like, whoa, let's steal those bikes, they would see the babies and run away, tail between legs. 🙂

  • Reply subcomandante quito February 26, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    that does not look like a pregnant 4th grader!

  • Reply Sophie Neutron February 26, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    WOW; thank you for stealing part of me. I hope it serves you well.

    I didn't comment with any real hope for getting free stuff. I just enjoy commenting on your blog.
    But after seeing the latest clue…I wanna win!

  • Reply gkhill February 27, 2010 at 12:12 am

    Jeez what a clue! Torn jeans or a fine white butt. Either is good but I do really need a pair of jeans.
    BTW I use a child mannequin to keep the crows out of the garden and he/she doubles as a halloween scary thing. Check my blog for the photo's of it, maybe next week.

  • Reply Mel February 27, 2010 at 1:44 am

    Oh hilarious!

    Well thank you again. There's nothing like discovering you've made some small contribution to someones life. And I am truly honoured to be featured indirectly in your epitaph.

  • Reply Mel February 27, 2010 at 1:47 am

    As in, I contributed to your life by letting you know you contributed to my life. Um… yeah.


  • Reply Amanda West February 27, 2010 at 2:22 am

    Another ass picture… Just what I was craving…


  • Reply T!nK February 28, 2010 at 12:21 am

    this pic reminded me of a pair of jeans that i have that are pretty much ripped to shreds, but they hold sentimental value and i refuse to get rid of them. i thought of framing them, lol.

  • Reply kisekae February 28, 2010 at 8:02 am

    darn I missed the contest! Hope you have another! Can't wait to find out what the prize is, I'm thinking its one of those press on patches you put on your jeans from the 90's, so disappointed I'm not eligible!

  • Reply Sadako February 28, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    Scary mannequin babies!

    Also that stuff you won in the other give away–garbage pail kid, books, lip gloss…so jealous!

    Really loving your blog. Found it on 20s bloggers the other day.

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