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Tonya Harding’s Jeans Are the Best Aphrodisiac

50 Comments 15 December 2009

 Tonya Hardings Jeans Are the Best Aphrodisiac social media
I discovered via one of my favorite websites, Buzzfeed, that ex figure-skater/Queen of the Mom Jean Tonya Harding has a website.

It’s just not any ol’ website.

Ms. Harding shares with us beautiful photos center-piecing full denim ensembles, passive-agressive comments like, “Tonya Harding is an intelligent, caring and very sensitive person. Even though she will deny it to some of her friends, ugly remarks hurt her feelings”, and erotic fan fiction.

Yep.

Just when *you thought you didn’t have an outlet for your fantasies involving circa 1990 sequined leotards and crimped hair, you find out about Tonya Harding Fantasies.
*You=I.

Tonya Harding Fantasies isn’t new. In fact, there are over 1587 stories from various shut-ins, illiterates, sexually frustrated middle-aged shoe salesman, and 26 year-old female bloggers from Austin.

Here are some snippets of my favorite Tonya Harding fanstasies….



Here is one of my Tonya Harding fantasies that I’ve been working on for awhile:

Tonya,
Ur high waisted stone washed jeans r so sexy. I just want to put them on and pretend that I am Kelly Kapowski. I will figure skate around in ur jeans and the judges will give me 99.99 for the most awesome camel toe they have ever seen. When I’m done skating, I will fall into a bed of scrunchies and make sweet love to a man w/ a mustache. Please don’t join us. My Tonya Harding fantasy has nothing to do with u. In fact, I don’t even want u watching. Just give me the jeans, scrunchies, and Jeff Gillooly. U just keep standing next to that tree.

Luv,
Lauren
 Tonya Hardings Jeans Are the Best Aphrodisiac social media   Tonya Hardings Jeans Are the Best Aphrodisiac social media

pixel Tonya Hardings Jeans Are the Best Aphrodisiac social media

Your Comments

50 Comments so far

  1. Hannah Miet says:

    Sometimes you are so funny that my stomach inverts into itself because I'm laughing but I haven't eaten yet and I think things like "I hate you, Lauren! I want to bang Kelly Kapowski!"

    And then I die.

  2. Hipstercrite says:

    hannah- you're a good part of the reason why i keep writing. thank you.

  3. Jill says:

    LOL ohmigosh those photos and jeans are horrendous! Who poses by a tree in mom jeans? It should be against the law.

  4. Hannah Miet says:

    Ok, before the legions come marching in…once more, for the record,

    I LOVE YOU.

  5. Sassy says:

    This is so many kinds of fantastic.

  6. That Chelsea Girl™ says:

    Grrross! Definitely not a fan of hers.

  7. inflammatory writ says:

    This is one of the most hilarious things I've read on the internet. That is saying a lot.

  8. thatgalkiki says:

    What did we DO before cyberspace? I LOVE this. Thank you, Twitter.

    *applause*

    Love!

  9. L.L. says:

    I loved this entry – but mostly just wanted to swing by and tell yo congrats for being a blog of note! Awesome!

  10. Millions Of Atoms Man says:

    I'm not going to her website. Ever. But confirm my hunch that 95 percent of the "Tonya Harding Fantasy Series" involves lead pipes and Nancy Kerrigan. I know I'm right, I just need independent verification.

    Oh, and congratulations on Blog of Note also…

  11. Iva says:

    haha! hilarious!! LOL

  12. Mrs. M. says:

    ca-ca-ca-camel toe.

  13. ALittleGuitar says:

    i knew tonya was my kinda gal when she referred to her cigarettes as 'my vitamins.'

  14. Hipstercrite says:

    Jill- Funny thing is, that picture was taken in '99, not '89!

    Inflammatory Writ- Thanks for stopping by and your message. It made my day :D

    Thatgalkiki- Isn't Twitter amazing!?

    L.L. + Millions of Atoms Man + Ivy- thanks!!!

  15. Gadget and Technology says:

    oo .. you are very beautiful

  16. Ana Renault says:

    hey, ijust wanted to say that brazilians reads your blog too! since I discovered it,i really enjoy to read it! You are SOOO funny!
    And, for god sake, where did you find that woman?!? =O
    godd luck for her. And, please, don't stop writting.
    "Um blog digno de se ler. Inacreditável"

  17. James Deagle says:

    "Tonya Harding's Jeans Are the Best Aphrodisiac"

    There's a sentence (and a notion) that my brain wasn't expecting to process when I got up this morning…lol.

  18. becky says:

    hahah Hilarious I agree.Dont cha just love those jeans hahah.Oh the hair too lolllllll.

  19. Auto Blogger says:

    It was very nice to read this post….. Great :)

  20. Harvey K says:

    Finally a place for all my Tonya Harding erotic fan fiction.

    Hilarious website btw. Congrats on being a blog of note.

  21. Online Deal Shopper says:

    your well funny :-) love what you do

  22. denysmaco0l says:

    nice post!!!
    please visit me back…

    thanks..

  23. Eva O'Dell says:

    HaHaHa. She totally creeps me out!

  24. ahsan hussain says:

    nise blog

  25. The villager: says:

    I'm seeing Tonya Harding in a whole new light !

  26. A Good Moroccan says:

    Great blog ! Well done.

  27. blessingsgoddess says:

    I can't get Tonya out of my head now…..

  28. LaptopTraveller says:

    so funny. =)

  29. king jersn says:

    ugg boots 50 usd
    air jordan shoes 35usd

    http://www.ecplazawhole.com

  30. ARTISANNE says:

    This is funny! :0)

  31. Lola Lakely says:

    I agree with the guy who wrote in Chinese. His viewpoint was both philosophically and morally aligned with mine.

    I found you through blogs of note and realized that you are awesome. You had me at Kelly Kapowski but I have to admit I will stuck around to see more pictures of Tonya hiding coquetishly behind a tree.

  32. Moni says:

    Don,t cha just love me

  33. joehebden says:

    Well done on blogs of note !

  34. Kate says:

    Who is Tonya Harding? I've never heard of her.

  35. Kimberly Nestler says:

    I suppose most have commited this fashion faux paux, I remember my mom making me where a pair at 8, along with a long jean skirt and flannels that made me look like I was part of the Four Non-Blondes. All hail the early 90s! NOT.

  36. Heather says:

    No acid washed jeans should be complete without a camel toe. Love this!!!

  37. lostupire says:

    LOL. I just found your blog and I must admit, we have a lot of the same opinions, only you are ALOT funnier than me.

    Definitely going to read some more later.

  38. Ari R. says:

    I just found you blog today, and I'm glad I did. Why should I bother doing my physics homework when I can be reading Tonya Harding Fantasies?

    You're blog is fantastic and you've made the world a better (or at least more tolerable)place. Thank you and have a lovely day.

  39. Gillian says:

    Congratulations on your blogs of note.

    Hi from a Scots lass living in South Africa.

    Love your blog…

  40. Zaharia says:

    nice…or how the french say crestere

  41. Anonymous says:

    скачать хорошее кино кино в хорошем качестве скачать

  42. Anonymous says:

    Hi,

    Thanks for sharing the link – but unfortunately it seems to be not working? Does anybody here at hipstercrite.blogspot.com have a mirror or another source?

    Thanks,
    Jules

  43. M says:

    “I will figure skate around in ur jeans and the judges will give me 99.99 for the most awesome camel toe they have ever seen.”

    But cameltoe is frickin’ hawt! 100.1!


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