I discovered via one of my favorite websites, Buzzfeed, that ex figure-skater/Queen of the Mom Jean Tonya Harding has a website.
It’s just not any ol’ website.
Ms. Harding shares with us beautiful photos center-piecing full denim ensembles, passive-agressive comments like, “Tonya Harding is an intelligent, caring and very sensitive person. Even though she will deny it to some of her friends, ugly remarks hurt her feelings”, and erotic fan fiction.
Just when *you thought you didn’t have an outlet for your fantasies involving circa 1990 sequined leotards and crimped hair, you find out about Tonya Harding Fantasies.
Tonya Harding Fantasies isn’t new. In fact, there are over 1587 stories from various shut-ins, illiterates, sexually frustrated middle-aged shoe salesman, and 26 year-old female bloggers from Austin.
Ur high waisted stone washed jeans r so sexy. I just want to put them on and pretend that I am Kelly Kapowski. I will figure skate around in ur jeans and the judges will give me 99.99 for the most awesome camel toe they have ever seen. When I’m done skating, I will fall into a bed of scrunchies and make sweet love to a man w/ a mustache. Please don’t join us. My Tonya Harding fantasy has nothing to do with u. In fact, I don’t even want u watching. Just give me the jeans, scrunchies, and Jeff Gillooly. U just keep standing next to that tree.